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Kilts and Stilts is a Netflix Spoof to the VeggieTales Silly Song of the same name.

About the Song

  • Set in an all-girl style, it has Riley Daring as Larry The Cucumber, Kendall Perkins as Scooter The Carrot, Candy Chiu and Grenda Lombard as Jimmy and Jerry Gourd, Fiona Von Steig as Mr. Nezzer, and Mimi Monroe and Bonnibel "Bonnie" Southeast as The French Peas Jean Claude and Philippe.

Cast

  1. Riley Daring (Grey DeLisle)
  2. Kendall Perkins (Emily Osment)
  3. Candy Chiu (Nikki Yang)
  4. Grenda Lombard (Carl Faruolo)
  5. Fiona Von Steig (Kate Miccuci)
  6. Mimi Monroe (Debi Derryberry)
  7. Bonnibel "Bonnie" Southeast (Colleen O'Saughnessey)

Transcript and Lyrics

  • Pooh: And now it's time for silly...
  • Riley: Hold it! (places a Scottish sign on the logo)
  • Pooh: And now, it's time for Silly Songs on Scottish Disney, the part of the show where my friends and I come out and sing a silly Scottish song.
  • Kendall: (Scottish Accent): I can't tell ya how proud I am at this moment!
  • Riley (Allegro): I dance on stilts... While she knits quilts...
  • Kendall (Scottish Accent): Nice quilt!
  • Riley (Scottish Accent): I sing with simulated Scottish island lilt.
  • Kendall (Scottish Accent): Ah, beautiful!
  • Riley: He plays his bagpipe... [Bagpipe] Eats haggis smelts...
  • Kendall (Scottish Accent): Haggis!
  • Riley: We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.
  • Kendall (Scottish Accent): Sing it, lass!
  • Girls: In our... red tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.
  • Kendall (Scottish Accent): Technically you stitch a quilt, but otherwise lovely!
  • Mimi (French Accent): Top of ze mornin' to you.
  • Kendall (Scottish Accent, Angrily): I'll have you know that's not in Scotland!
  • [Rip!]
  • Riley (Indifferent): I dance on stilts...
  • Kendall (Scottish Accent, Angrily for the rest of the song): Excuse me, ma'am!
  • Riley: She stitches quilts...
  • Kendall (Scottish Accent for the rest of the song): What ya doin' wit a shamrock?
  • Riley (Irish Accent): I sing with simulated Northern Irish lilt.
  • Kendall: Irish?
  • Riley: She plays her whistle...
  • [Whistle]
  • Kendall (taken aback): What?
  • Riley: Eat salted smelts...
  • Kendall: It's not on the menu!
  • Riley: We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts.
  • Kendall: I've got nothing against me! Irish-
  • Girls: In our... green tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts...
  • Kendall: But this is a Scottish song!
  • Mimi (French Accent): Cheep-Cheep-Cheerio!
  • [Rip!]
  • Kendall (muffled by the thrown kilt at his face): Ugh!
  • Riley: I dance on stilts... She stitches quilts...
  • Kendall: WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?
  • Riley (English Accent): I sing with simulated English Cockney lilt.
  • Kendall: ENGLISH??
  • [Boomp]
  • Riley: She plays his trumpet...
  • [Trumpet]
  • Kendall (desperately): Ugh!
  • Riley: Eats crumpet melts...
  • Kendall: Gimme that crumpet!
  • Girls: We feel so smart in our St. George's English Kilts.
  • Kendall: Well ya shouldn't!
  • Girls: In our, St. George's kilts...
  • Kendall: No! Wait!
  • Girls: We feel so smart in-
  • Kendall (Briefly): No!
  • Girls: -our St. George's English kilts.
  • Kendall: Oh!
  • Mimi (French Accent): Howdy y'all!
  • Kendall: Stop it you! You're ruining me moment!
  • (Accelerando)
  • Riley: I dance on stilts... She stitches quilts...
  • Kendall: American?
  • Riley: I sing with ordinary unaccented lilt.
  • Kendall: Oh! Oh! I'm feeling dizzy!
  • Riley: She plays her banjo... [Banjo] Eats cheddar melts...
  • Kendall: Oh, I'm break ya know!
  • Girls: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.
  • Kendall: Stop it!
  • Girls: In our... star-spangled kilts...
  • Kendall: Stop that!
  • Girls: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.
  • Kendall (moaning): Uh!
  • Pooh: This has been silly songs with Scottish Riley. Tune in next time to hear Riley say:
  • Riley (joyfully): Just get her some scotch tape and butterscotch. She'll be fine!
  • Kendall: Oh, my Bonnie lies over the ocean!

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