This is the beginner's guide to KoL. Feel free to add whatever info you think is important.
At the home page, you may be confused as for what to do. If you are new, press the "Create an Account" link at the top of the screen. This is how you start playing. You see this text:
The Kingdom of Loathing was once a pleasant place, where all the citizens loathed one another equally and nobody caused too much trouble. Under the gentle rule of King Ralph XI, peace had prevailed for as long as anybody could remember. One fateful Porktober morning, a Sorceress came to the Kingdom. A Naughty Sorceress. A Naughty Sorceress who was clearly up to no good, and even more clearly up to plenty of bad. King Ralph sought to expel the Naughty Sorceress from his Kingdom, but she imprismed him in a black crystalline shard of curdled magic. It was very dramatic.
Monsters emerged from their hidey-holes to terrorize the citizens of Loathing, and larger monsters emerged from larger hidey-holes to terrorize those monsters, all under the control of the Naughty Sorceress.
In the King's absence, the Council of Loathing convened to attempt to impose order on the Kingdom. Their success was limited, however, to imposing their will on adventurers who came to the Kingdom seeking fame, fortune, or quality products at reasonable prices. And as you've probably guessed by now, one of those adventurers is you!
Below that, you sign up. Put in your personal information. Done? Okay, it's time to pick to pick a class. Let me tell you about the classes.
These classes all have certian advantages. Each class has its own unique skills, each based on their names (hence their names).
Meat is currency in the kingdom of loathing. It is used to buy items in the mall, items from the flea market, items from NPC shops, and for trading. After ascension, your meat is stored in Hagnk's, along with your items., You can ge tmeat from selling items, or picking up meat on your adventures.