Lunaran Enlightenment

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The Lunaran Enlightenment is an effort to increase the mindspace of the typical denizen of the world. It has been likened to Zen Buddhism and the Sufi sect of Islam. It uses short parables to achieve great insight into the workings of the id, ego, and ox. Ox is a part of the mind solely discovered by the Enlightenationists. It is named after the obvious connection to the large, charging sort of animal. The following are a couple of examples of the genius that goes into the Movement. Some have claimed links between the Enlightenationment and Lunsoc, but these are generally mocked and derided.

A Zen Story

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.

One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate."

He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.

His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead."

Hearing this, the man was enlightened.

by Camden Benares, the Count of Five,Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal

The Barstool Experiment

Once upon a time, two Serious Minded people were in Frodo's pub, having a few pints, and talking about the nature of Universe.

Hugo pointed out that most of what we consider “matter” is made up of empty space. “The distance between a nucleus, its electrons, and the nearest adjacent atom is comparatively large; why, that barstool over there shouldn't even be considered a solid!”

Amber responded, “but wait… As far as we can actually prove, that barstool might simply be a hallucination, for we're not actually seeing the barstool, we're processing electric signals in our heads generated by our optic nerves. And all they are doing is claiming certain wavelengths of light have bounced off an object. But what if the nerves are misfiring, which we all know happen quite often? So, we can’t really say whether or not the barstool even exists!”

Just then, a man approached them and said, “I couldn’t help but overhear you two talking. If I may, I have an experiment for you. Purely in the interest of a deeper understanding of the universe, of course.”

He then proceeded to pick up the barstool and pummel both Hugo and Amber squarely about the head and torso, because they were so obviouly pretentious assholes who deserved a beatdown.

Thus, they were enlightened.

Usually attributed to Virgil.

The Most Important Message to Mankind


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