I look into my Grandma’s black, deep eyes, and I see that they are filled with wisdom. Her wrinkled face, snow-white hair put in a neat bun, and a warm smile would make you think that her life wasn’t hard. However, it was far from easy. As an eighty year old, my Grandma is the strongest woman I have ever met. I look up to her, and I know that her journey through life made her strong, and courageous. Here is a little part of my Grandma’s incredible life story:
At 14, my life wasn’t easy, but I was satisfied. I had everything that I needed; love from my family, and the comfort of living where I was born. However, everything was about to change. The war between Soviet Union and Nazis broke out, and my family, and I were forced to evacuate from Korsun Shevchenkovskiy, Ukraine.
Our first stop was Kurskaya Oblast, Russia. We stayed there for a month, after we had to wait for a month to get the horses. Even though, we had the horses, we still had to walk because they carried our stuff.
Afterwards we traveled for a long time. The Nazis were bombing us, and it was very scary. We got our food on the way. However, we took very little clothing, because we were more concerned about food, and money. The little carriage attached to the horse was filled with our stuff, and we were walking with my mom, and four other families. After we got to our second destination, we remained there for three weeks, because the Nazis were coming.
We set out to continue our journey. We traveled for a very long time. It was turning(Use "becoming" rather than turning) cold. Our summer clothes were very worn out, and we were freezing. The soldiers, and the injured were let in front of us. Therefore, we had to make very long stops, until finally, in October, we got to Kazakstan. We lived there in a small room with three other families. I had to work there, in Kalhos (a collective farm).
Our city was liberated on February 17, 1944, and we went to ask for permission to go back home, until finally we got it. On out journey back home, we saw a lot of ruined villages, and cities, until we finally returned. When we got back to my hometown, my mom went back to work, and I went back to school. We were waiting to hear about what happened to my two brothers, who we haven’t heard of since we evacuated, and who I loved very much. However, we didn’t discover anything about what happened to them my life wasn’t easy, but I was satisfied.
(Try not to use the word "got" and "get" so often. Try using some other words that mean "got" like "recieve" or ocasionally the word "return(ed)".)