Got the Point? Book 1 Chapter 1: The Mark of Crypt
Cast: (In order of appearance)
Narrator – Raiettei
Evan Nacali – No Actor
Mynk – No Actress
Ghost – No Actor
Bonsai – Raiettei
Crypt – No Actress
AJ – Raiettei
Rain – No Actress
Jyo – Foxboy
Mossy – No Actress
Red – No Actor
Karen – No Actress
Paris – No Actress
Voice – No Actor/Actress
Marutari 1 – Raiettei
Marutari 2 – No Actor
Sierra – No Actress
Gate – No Actor
Mac – No Actress
Manis – No Actor
Leet – No Actor
Malem Mocula – No Actor/Actress
Korwin Aero – No Actor
Narrator: The world, Earth, is a very large thing. Even more so is the Milky Way galaxy. That galaxy is just peanuts to the Universe, with it’s ever growing vastness and it’s seemingly endless supply of various smaller galaxies within it. The inhabitants of the Universe generally agree that they’re alone. Might I be the first to suggest the fact that… we are NOT alone! Our universe, of which is labeled “Upsilon” by the others, is such an utterly insignificant one, that most agree that if, in theory, one of the other universes devised some sort of universe destroying bomb, that it should be tested on us, first. Nobody would miss it. Fortunately, such a thing as a universe-destroying bomb cannot be constructed (theoretically). However, this story is not about us. We’re a bit too boring to have a story be about us. No, actually, this story is about a significantly more significant universe, so significant, it’s not insignificant. This universe is designated “Zeta”. Within this universe is the equally un-insignificant galaxy, the Cream Road galaxy. Inside this galaxy, on the western spiral arm, is a very insignificant world orbiting a small, disregarded sun. This world is called… Terra. Our story is about a horrible accident that occurred one fateful August. But that accident has not, and will not occur for some time in the future. For now, just sit back, and relax. This universe isn’t going anywhere soon… and besides, if it were to go somewhere soon, another universe would be likely to take its place, anyway. The universe Zeta is a crossroads between universes. You have to pass through Zeta to get to another place. It’s multiversal law, and it’s not that likely to change. Although the main story won’t come for a while, this story is about the lead-up to the other story, but it’s important, nonetheless. Today, we join two high school kids in their ongoing plight for something… I’m not paying attention that much, but I’m told it’s important.
Mynk: Evan! I’m so glad I found you!
Narrator: Those would be them. I’ll leave you for now.
Evan: Oh, hey, Mynk. What’s up?
Mynk: Oh, Evan! It’s horrible! I was just exploring the caves of Arpiijjii when a 20-ton ice orc suddenly challenged me to a game of charades, that’s when I realized she wasn’t a 20-ton ice orc, but a 90-pound wild mime, but that’s not the point… anyway, I ran from there, and found that our princess was actually in a different castle, and…
Evan: Basically, you’re telling me you wasted all of your time playing video games, and now you need to copy my homework before next period.
Mynk: Basically… but my version sounded nobler…
Narrator: …That wasn’t important! How come it says here that it is? Whatever. I’m on this track now. Might as well finish it…
Evan: You can’t keep doing this, Mynk. Eventually, you’re gong to have to take some responsibility for yourself! I can’t keep bailing you out of everything! I shouldn’t even be doing this now! And… uh… are you okay, Mynk?
Mynk: Yeah… luckily, my self-esteem was carrying a 1-up.
Mynk: Never mind. Continue. I’m still listening…
Evan: Okay. Anyway, as I was saying… (Continues talking, but is drown out)
Ghost: Wait… you mean that kid there?
Bonsai: No… the other one.
Ghost: Oh. That one, then?
Bonsai: Yup. That would be the one.
Ghost: There doesn’t seem to be anything surprising about this one… So why…?
Bonsai: He’s the son of a former G.D.E. agent.
Bonsai: You have something on your mind… so… uh… something bothering you?
Ghost: Oh! It’s just… we always reveal these things in the dark… for once, couldn’t we turn the stupid light switch on? And what’s with this music?
Bonsai: I thought this was supposed to be dramatic!
Ghost: We’re the only ones here! There’s no need for unneeded drama!
Bonsai: Okay, fine… Switchy goes onny. Music goes offy.
Ghost: Thank you.
Bonsai: Anyway, about the kid… I’m assigning him to you, Ghost. I’m sure he’ll be safe in your wings.
Ghost: Wait… what?
Bonsai: Your mission… is to protect this kid.
Ghost: You’ve got to be kidding…
Bonsai: Nope. For once, I’m totally serious.
Ghost: Bonsai, my friend… you know my talents are SO much better suited for something far better than a mere guardian job! I…
Ghost’s Eyes: Demand a better mission!!!
Bonsai: Keep those glasses ON, Agent! He’s assigned to you because you’re the most suited for the job! It’s Mr. Mister Effkay’s call, not mine! And besides… you’re acting immature. Come on!
Ghost: No I’m not, you stupid pootyhead… (Raspberry) …sorry.
Bonsai: Proving my point completely, as always…
Ghost: One more reason… Give me one more reason I should do this job!
Bonsai: One eh? How about two? The kid’s parents are (In no particular order) Nestle and Paul Nacali.
Ghost: …Wait… what? Paul Nacali? You mean… “Nightmare” Paul Nacali?
Bonsai: Pretty much.
Ghost: And… Nestle… Nessa… Sigh… all right. I’ll do it. Could… could you just give me a good amount of time to research the boy from here… for now? … It is okay with you, yeah?
Bonsai: Yeah… do whatever it is you do for now. Be my guest.
Narrator: And now, a message from your sponsor: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!! …Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled comic, already in progress.
Evan: …And that’s why cheese is a very important part of anyone’s diet.
Mynk: …wait… what? I kind of blanked out when you started talking about fabric softener…
Mynk: All right! Next level! Wait… uh oh… I totally spaced out on that assignment from last night… I wonder how he’d react…
Dream Evan: (Purposefully horrible voice acting) Mynk! I cannot believe you! I told you yesterday and you even promised! I’m totally ashamed of you and stuff!
Mynk: …sigh… Eh! Nothing like some good old fashioned consistency!
Narrator: Okay. The story that is to be told isn’t about those guys at all. But it was interesting nonetheless, wasn’t it, now? This story is about a lemur. That’s right. A lemur. A depressed lemur, but… eh… I’ll just let her take over from here. My shift is done. I’m out of here.
Crypt: 11:14… Lunch. Every day is based on consistency. Every day, the long-eared hedgehog chews the gamer geek girl’s ears off for playing video games all day and not finishing her homework…
Crypt: Every day, the oddly familiar sounding guy sings a poorly written song loudly, and the strangely familiar looking girl screams at him to stop…
AJ: …Cause I’m taking the bus home! They’re as horrible as they come! And I’m taking the bus home! Because that’s the only transit for some!
Rain: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, And SHUT UP! And while I’m screaming at you, stop sounding like the narrator! It’s really stupidly creepy!
Crypt: Every day, the coyote-fox preaches on and on about how he thinks he’s not a stereotype, or about whatever book he happens to be reading at any given time…
Jyo: …and that’s why Excel is my manga girl for this month.
Mossy: Eh heheheheh… right…
Crypt: …And every day, I prepare to humiliate myself for food money, because I can’t afford it myself…
Red: All right, freak. I’ve got the camera ready… are you ready? Oh wait… who cares? Heheheheh…
Crypt: Okay… where do I begin? My given name is Crypt Mortuary. Yeah. It’s a stranger name than you’re used to hearing, but… whatever. All you need to know is the fact that Crypt Mortuary is not my real name. It’s not very uncommon for ferra to simply shut the door on my face. I’m what you’d consider a homeless orphan. I wouldn’t consider myself that, but who cares what I think? I don’t have a permanent home, and I don’t have a family. Whatever. If the education here at Jenerin weren’t free, I probably wouldn’t even have a future. I don’t care what anyone else thinks… I want to prove that I’m not just a hopeless poor kid. I have a future. Believe it.
Red: Eheheh… thanks.
Mossy: Hm… My best friend is sad. Why is he sad?
Mossy: What’s wrong?
Jyo: Oh. It’s… that Crypt girl… I guess I just feel sorry for her.
Mossy: The creepy green girl? The one with the purple hair? WHY?
Jyo: Unlike SOME ferra I could name, I actually do feel a bit for other ferra. Even the ones that are traditionally known as being my prey.
Karen: HEY, MANGA BOY! Don’t you DARE miss practice again! Paris promised me she would throttle you if you didn’t show up this time!
Jyo: Ah, hai. Arrigato, Karen-chan.
Karen: Whatever you just said… just get to the field and get into uniform PRONTO!
Jyo: Good-bye for now, Mosquito. I’m off to practice.
Mossy: (mind) That’s just like Jyo… sorry for some ferra one minute, annoyed at me for no good reason the next, and excited to play a game all in the course of two minutes…
Jyo: Wha--? Mossy? What are you doing here?
Mossy: We didn’t finish talking about that Crypt girl… I just… uh. Wanted to know what you were planning to do about her?
Jyo: Well, uh… I was…
Paris: Hey, “Stalker”… This is serious. I can’t just have you chatting up with your friends on my time. You understand?
Jyo: Uh… right, Paris, ma’am. Sorry, Mossy. You’ve got to leave. Anyway, about Crypt Mortuary. I, uh… didn’t actually… um… have a plan to do anything… you know?
Crypt: ………………Yeah. That sounds like everyone who wants to help… Feel, as hard as you want, and when it comes to actually do anything, where are you then?
Crypt: I’m poor, I’m dirty, and I’m basically homeless. I really have got a good thing going on here. That Lupine boy… I didn’t believe it then, and I still don’t believe it… but he… he… he… …… I’m sorry, listener. I just can’t do the whole “inner dialogue” thing in a poorly lit street corner… It’s just too cliché. Do any of you mind if I could have a quick change of scenery?
Voice: Welcome to McSavage!
Crypt: …Okay. I really don’t know if this is better or worse, but I’m continuing the monologue anyway… Okay… where was I? Ah, yes… the Lupine boy. This afternoon, I was actually caught spying on him from behind the scoreboard. When he saw me, he—hrk! Wha!? Aw jeez… The sickening feeling in my palm… the evil mark returns! But then… (Speech slurs progressively from here on) what causes the mark? Who’s making me sleepy? I haven’t ever seen so many stars in all my life… Got to go beddy bye…
Bonsai: Sigh… I so hate using the tranquilizers… but according to the Guide, this girl is very dangerous… I guess I had no choice. But man… the stupid things are so primitive…
Bonsai: Who would have thought McSavage would actually have a take-out bag that big? I’m sorry, Ms. Mortuary… I think I had to do it. Personally, I think Mr. Mister Effkay has “flown the cuckoos nest”, so to speak. He said the girl was very dangerous… but there wasn’t much of anything on her peril levels… or her stress levels… Ah, well. I’m just lucky she’s so unpopular. This may be the cleanest case I’ve ever done! No one will be missing her… she has no family, and more importantly, no friends.
Jyo: Okay! I’m back from the bathroom. So what were you saying about the… Huh? Crypt? Where’d you go? You were right here… and you left your food here… weird. I wonder where the larp she could have gone? I was only gone for… 3 minutes, max. Another thing which was odd… she left the (albeit, cheap) food on the table… she’s not exactly the ferra you’d expect to waste food. Huh… I was even planning on asking her if she’d be interested in… err… coming for the night… hospitality, you know? All of this is odd… if she did indeed ditch me, I guess she’s probably long gone by now…
Crypt: (SFX of car coming to stop) (echoed) zzzzz… oganawa??? …Zzz… blood…
Jyo: …but why would she just leave like that? Am I really that…? And what if…? Where is…? …Sigh… Darn it, Shannah… why’d you have to leave me like that…? You said you’d be there for me… why aren’t you here now? Ever since you left… I’ve been so… so very… alone… Hm? Um… excuse me. I’ve having a bit of a personal moment, here. Could I have a few minutes to myself, here?
Jyo: Get out of here!
Narrator: Fine. Let’s see what Mynk’s doing right now…
Mynk: …Oh man… That feeling that I’m constantly being watched came back… dang it, Melissa… there’s nothing to fear but mimes and evil robots… there’s nothing to fear but mimes and evil robots… there’s nothing to fear but…
Mossy: …meep? Mossy… senses… tingling… (Panting, as if running) JYO! WHAT’S WRONG!?
Jyo: Yeargh!!! Um… Mossy??? (Surprised sounding, and slightly panicked) What are you doing???
Mossy: I had a feeling that something was wrong… so… uh… what’s wrong?
Jyo: Well… I… was thinking… about her…
Jyo: … Crypt.
Mossy: …Oh… her… …(Long pause, then says in a whisper;) I love you.
Mossy: …never… mind.
Narrator: Aww… how cute… but who cares? Let’s just get back to Crypt and see how she’s doing!
Bonsai: …Ms. Crypt?
Bonsai: We’re here. Alrighty, then… I guess I’ll just stick those extras and neededs right here… she can’t take it off, anyway… I think they’ll be safe until she needs them… Once more, I’m sorry, Ms. Mortuary… but I had no choice… you understand… understood! Sorry.
Crypt: Uh! …Uhn… erh… who… who are you…?
Bonsai: Oh, dang… …my name? Erm… yes… My name. My name is Birkley Andrews… but most ferra I know call me “Bonsai”… hm… You most likely didn’t care about that, did you? Well… I saved your life… and you saved mine. You just don’t know it. I apologize, but I can’t reveal much more than that. I have to leave you… okay. One last time… I apologize. (Thinking) Nice girl… REALLY nice girl. It’s almost enough to make me feel sorry for erasing her memory… ah, well. With her assets, I’m sure she’ll be fine on her own…
Crypt: (Thinking) Where… where’s he going…? He can’t leave me here, can he…? Look at him… didn’t even take a single look back at me… where exactly am I…? Why does my chest hurt? How come I have a headache? Why are my clothes ripped? My hand hurts… to top it all off, I can’t remember my own name! I’m scared… Why can’t I talk? I need some answers before I completely lose it… I need them right now! I can’t just sit around doing nothing. I need to stand… there. Now. To solve my present mysteries… My hand… why does it hurt? I—UHH!!! Uhrn…
Memory Crypt: 11:14… lunch… Every day is based on consistency…
Memory Mossy: The creepy green girl? The one with the purple hair?
Crypt: (Thinking) Wha… what is this?
Bonsai: …Lets see… right about now, she’s regained some necessary memories… Goody, goody…
Memory Sierra: No… not my daughter!!!
Marutari 1: The… Malem Mocula!
Marutari 2: She can’t be the heir to our name!
Marutari 1: The mark! The newborn has it!
Young Crypt: Get… away from me!!!
Gate: My sister has nothing to do with it!
Sierra: My newest child. My lovely girl… I shall name her… (Censored)
Gate: Don’t you dare touch her!!!
AJ: HA! Piece Inc. Comics Co. 25 censored this comic!
Mac: Jokes on all of you! Isn’t censorship just… stellar?
Crypt: …so my name is…? Eh? I didn’t hear that… there was just a “bleep” where my name should have been… wait… what? … Whatever. My hand still hurts, but the pain is gone… That makes one mystery disappear, now on to the second. Where am I, exactly? Why am I alone?
Mynk: …sigh… okay, Mr.… uh… “God of Plot Convenience”… I’m at the school, now… could you please leave me alone, now?
Narrator: No, Melissa… first, you have to bring me gummies… and some “Froot Loops”, if you’ve got them…
Mynk: …but that’s my pocket food! Eh, alright… here…
Narrator: Thank you! I’ll leave you be for now…
Mynk: Wait!!! What am I doing here???
Narrator: You’ll find out! Your Inner Destiny waits!!!
Mynk: Huh? … He’s not coming back, is he? Damn “god of plot convenience”… leaving me here to find out my “Inner Destiny” all by myself… Like I have a clue why I’m here! To think… if I weren’t here, I could be using my time to… uh… not… be here. Not only that, but… eh? Isn’t that the creepy glasses girl? I think it is! I wonder if she has something to do with my “Inner Destiny”? It definitely isn’t something to do with cheese! Why is it important to my diet? Evan’s weird… speaking of Evan, I hope he isn’t angry with me, much! …Evan Nacali… that’s a funny name. It kind of pops… eh-VAN-NAH-CAH-LEE. Pops like an overhead balloon in a power line! Hehe… balloons are cool… It sure is cool out here… freezing, actually! …Huh? What am I doing at the school? …Hey! Isn’t that the creepy glasses girl? I think it is! I wonder if she has something to do with my “Inner Destiny”? It definitely isn’t…
Jyo: (Thinking) So Crypt never showed up for class, and she definitely didn’t come to school, period… I wonder where she could be?
Mynk: (Thinking) I can’t wait to see Evan’s face when he sees this…!
Mossy: (Thinking) I have a thought… why do fictional characters only think about things that are important to the plot? Why can’t they ever think about something so unimportant, it wouldn’t even make sense why they would be thinking about that?
Mynk: Hey, Evan!!!
Jyo: Eh? ‘Lissa?
Evan: Um… yeah, Mynk?
Mynk: Oh, I did more than that! …Wait… you didn’t say, “Did you finish last night’s homework”, did you? … Ah, well.
Mynk: The mere fact is... I did it! I overcame my addiction to video games, and my ADHD, not to mention my lack of self-esteem, and pulled through! And it’s all thanks to that Creepy Glasses Girl!
Evan: Uhh… Good. For. You…
Jyo: “Creepy Glasses Girl”?
Mynk: (Thinking) Jeap that felt good! Go Melissa! Go Melissa!
Manis: (hushed) I believe that covers every little thing in our bet… 10 dollars, then?
Evan: (hushed) Dang it, Manis. I really thought you’d lose this one! Mynk actually finished her homework on time? Who would have thought it!
Jyo: Hey, ‘Lissa.
Mynk: Oh, hi, ‘Sephy!
Jyo: So… you said something about getting help from a… “Creepy Glasses Girl”…?
Mynk: Oh, yeah, totally! You want to hear the story?
Jyo: Yes, if you please!
Mynk: Okeday, then! It all started when…
Paraphrase Mynk: Stupid homework!
Mynk: That’s me! And then…
Paraphrase Mynk: Huh?
Paraphrase Crypt: I’ll help you out.
Jyo: Um… ‘Lissa?
Mynk: Um… yeah?
Paraphrase Both: Yay! BFF!
Jyo: I know that’s not how it happened… I can tell… big time. Tell the story right.
Mynk: Sigh… okay.
Memory Crypt: …You thought these tracks belonged to a clam?
Memory Mynk: …I thought it was a walking clam…
Mynk: …and that’s the correct way to eat mint ice cream. Now—
Jyo: Um… ‘Lissa?
Mynk: Cha, ‘Sephy?
Jyo: Weren’t you supposed to be talking about Crypt?
Mynk: Oh, dang! Sorry! It’s hard for me to keep focus, sometimes.
Jyo: I’ve noticed…
Mynk: So, anyway, I just arrived at the school…
(Insert Memory here)
Jyo: Fast foreword.
Mynk: What? But this is a good story!
Jyo: Just do it.
Mynk: Fine. So, she just decided to help me with my homework…
(Insert second memory here)
Jyo: You just told me that story earlier on in this file!
Mynk: Hey! No 4th wall breaky! Where was I? Oh, yeah…
Memory Mynk: How about this? I’ve got a blowtorch, some root beer, and a package of bottle rockets…
Memory Leet: All right! NOW I’m in!
Mynk: And that’s how I got this scar. You can’t see it very well, but…
Jyo: This is supposed to be about Crypt…
Narrator: And so the fox-coyote attempted to get his information from the yellow wolf…
Jyo: Crypt. I want to know about CRYPT!!!
Mynk: Well, why didn’t you just SAY SO?
Narrator: …Which naturally went nowhere. Unbeknownst to him, a certain reindeer and a certain lemur had started talking during the short time he had left…
Crypt: So… that’s him?
Mossy: Sigh… yeah… that’s my idiot fox brain…
Narrator: Some things are just unavoidable. That it was Jyo just made it even MORE unavoidable…
Jyo: Melissa! Can’t you keep your focus for more than—
Crypt: Um… excuse me…
Jyo: What do you—yipe!
Narrator: That he went “yipe!” and fainted to the floor wasn’t as unavoidable, but it wasn’t all that surprising, either…
Crypt: …so I take it… he knows who I am… is he okay?
Mossy: Unfortunately, yeah. I’ll get him up…
Jyo: Ow! Why did you…? CRYPT??? Is that really you?
Crypt: Is it? I can’t tell… All I can remember is… uhh… Last night, after she brought me to her house… Melissa, I mean…
Memory Mynk: Stupid homework!
Crypt: And then…
Memory Crypt: Allow me to see that… huh? …You thought these tracks belonged to a clam?
Memory Mynk: I thought it was a walking—
Jyo: AARGH!!! MORE MEANINGLESS FLASHBACKS!!!
Crypt: You mean… you don’t wish to hear my flashback?
Jyo: NOT WHEN IT’S A FLASHBACK!!!
Mynk: …I also got a scar across my chest… any of you want to see it?
Jyo: (Still annoyed) …No, ‘Lissa… I don’t want to see your chest…
Crypt: No, thank you.
Mossy: Oh, meep, no…
Mynk: …Okay, then… your loss…
Crypt: …and then she let me borrow some good clothes, and let me stay the night.
Jyo: Oh… really?
Crypt: Hm. Class will start soon. I’ve got to go get something from my lock-…???
(Insert Red Memory here)
Crypt: Red… Jyoseph… Mosquito… Melissa… I’ve got to go settle some… (Anger grows) unfinished business I just remembered… I’ll see you at class…
Malem Mocula: Hate… HATE!!! Let it grow… Let… it… GROW!!!
Jyo: Whoa… brr… …sigh… she’s going to go do something reckless, stupid, and possible violent, isn’t she?
Jyo: …and I’m the guy that’s expected to go and stop her, aren’t I?
Mossy: It’s in your job description.
Mynk: Are you sure you don’t want to see my chest?
Jyo: Quite sure.
Mossy: Go away.
Mynk: Just checking.
Ghost: Wait… so that’s… Cassandra Marutari?
Bonsai: Huh… she was much calmer last night…
Ghost: I’m sure she was… ARE YOU CERTAIN she’s the owner of the Malem Mocula???
Bonsai: Absolutely. I’ve seen its effects firsthand.
Ghost: A tool like the Malem Mocula is very dangerous in someone like hers hands!
Bonsai: You don’t know what you’re talking about. The Malem Mocula is a scar on her let wrist. So long as that golden pendant stays around her neck, the wound stays open, and the danger persists. The truth is, she can’t remove it herself.
Ghost: …So we need to remove that pendant? It sounds difficult. What with her violent tendencies.
Bonsai: Ghost, you’ve only seen her for a few minutes… don’t jump to conclusions like that. She’s much less violent than… say… you.
Ghost: Are you saying I’m violent???
Bonsai: DAI!!! Oof… Urgh… no… Ghost… uhhn… whatever would give you that… idea? Aren’t you thinking this is irony for the sake of irony?
Ghost: Why you…
Bonsai: Hey! Quit with the punching, already! Something’s going on with the screen!
Crypt and Malem Mocula: (Anger) Erm… Jyoseph? What are you doing…? You’re interrupting some—
Jyo: Important business… yeah, yeah… could you think about this for a second?
Crypt Only: What?
Jyo: This behavior isn’t from the Crypt I know.
Crypt and MM: But he Crypt you know isn’t a person I’ve met yet!
MM: Huh? Wait… Crypt… don’t let him…
Crypt: …yeah… okay. Hum… for some reason… I feel… sad.
Ghost: …Wait… what in Primus’s big spiky name just happened?
Bonsai: Stop punching me, and I’ll tell you…
Ghost: Punching you? Why would I punch you?
Bonsai: You misconstrued me, and you thought I accused you of being violent.
Ghost: Wow… Ironic.
Bonsai: That’s what I said… and then you punched me again.
Bonsai: Whatever. Anyway… so… the world we live on, Terra… it used to be known as Earth… and seven architects sculpted it. They were much more feral than us, and most were quadrupeds. Seven is a recurring number… it also is the exact number of Mocula there are. That may be because the holders of the seven Mocula the names of which are; Vita, Mortuus, Res Rei, Nihilum, Malem, Lumen, and Animus, are the descendents of those feral architects. The Mocula are very powerful weapons that entire civilizations have warred over. Have ended at the hands of the Mocula… Two organizations have surfaced in order to control the Mocula; the Effkay Corporation, and G.D. Enterprises. As you know, we are both agents of the wonderful and talented… Mr. Mister Effkay!
Bonsai: Yeah, Irwin?
Ghost: I know all of this already… why are you attempting to teach it to me???
Bonsai: Plot convenience, young scary bat person… plot convenience.
Ghost: Plot… what?
Bonsai: I’m just saying it now, so the Author doesn’t have to later!
Ghost: Oh, grow up! The Author doesn’t exist! Everyone knows that!
Bonsai: Everyone but me, apparently!
Ghost: …Why did I ever think I could change you into a more serious agent?
Bonsai: That would be plot-induced stupidity! You can’t change what can’t be changed!
Ghost: Whatever. What about that Jyo kid? How does he fit into this?
Bonsai: I was just getting to that! The Mocula have negative effects upon their hosts. For example; the Vita Mocula causes the owner to become blind… the Lumen Mocula causes pain to spread to anyone the host touches, and the Malem Mocula causes the host to become very depressed.
Bonsai: Once again, I was just getting to that! Anyway… These are magical artifacts… Each one with the power to either create or destroy. Vita creates life, Mortuus destroys it. See what I’m saying? Anyway, in order to gain these, the architects had to pay a price for each one. Something that would cause the effects of the Mocula to become null. Once again, I refer to the Vita Mocula… it creates life, but it causes the owner to become blind, so the owner cannot see what life they created.
Ghost: Hm. I think I see what you’re saying, now.
Bonsai: Do you? Or don’t you?
Ghost: NO! You still didn’t describe what Jyo’s function is in this machine!
Bonsai: Ahem… yeah. Anyway… we at Effkay have developed a special medicine that completely suppresses the effects of the Mocula! But only if the host wants it to work.
Bonsai: I’ll explain… Wait… I can’t explain. Whatever… it’s based on the effects of what are known as… natural suppressors.
Ghost: Natural suppressors?
Bonsai: A person, place, or thing that completely wipes away the effects of the individual Mocula. In the Malem Mocula’s case, it’s Jyo.
Bonsai: …say… how’s the Nacali case going?
Ghost: Oh, I’m almost ready for the actual field run.
Bonsai: I want you on the Marutari case.
Bonsai: Any idiot with wings can do the Nacali case.
Ghost: But you said earlier that I was chosen for MY talents!
Bonsai: I lied. Your mind control abilities are far better suited for the Marutari case. Besides, we’ve found the perfect little nook to place him in.
Ghost: Who, now?
Bonsai: Agent Darkmatter, AKA Korwin Aero. He’s a college student in need of a place to sleep. The Nacalis are renting out a room for some extra cash. Get my drift?
Ghost: I’d like to at least MEET the guy that’s going to take over. Where is he?
Bonsai: Oh, please don’t tell me your serious… you call yourself an agent, Agent?
Bonsai: He’s been spying on us this whole time!
Bonsai: Get down here, Aero…
Korwin: Righto, boss. Hm! So you’re the famous Irwin Smarter, eh? My name is Agent Darkmatter. I’m your biggest fan! I know all of the basics and the advances about the Nacali case, and I’ve already applied for that extra room! I’ve filed all the paperwork for this case, and I expect a 1:1 chance that I’ll succeed! Well, I’ll see you!
Bonsai: He’s cute, isn’t he? Well… I’d best be on my way… here’s the folder on Cassandra “Crypt” Marutari. Study it, and burn it. Leave no piece of candy melted. Arrigato, Gracias, thank you, goodbye, sayonara, ciao.
Ghost: …How come I think I’m the only serious guy in this entire operation?
Narrator: Another word from our sponsor: THE!!! Thank you. I return you to the tail end of this production!
Jyo: So, Crypt… you say that’s not your real name, but everyone calls you that… even the teachers! Why, now?
Crypt: I don’t know… I guess it’s because my name just kind of sounds the same… Crypt because I’m depressed for no real reason, and Mortuary because it sounds like my last name…
Jyo: Which is…?
Crypt: …Cassandra… is my first name… Marutari… is my second.
Jyo: Cassandra… Marutari… I like it.
Crypt: Thanks… Hm… I feel like we should end this on a joke.
Crypt: I don’t know… let me think about it… nah. We have our whole lives for jokes. Let’s just end this sweetly and cleanly.
Jyo: Okay, then. I feel good about that.
Mossy: ………I guess they forgot about me, eh?
Mynk: Eh, don’t feel so bad about it… I get forgot about for months at a time! …Speaking of which… want to see my chest scar?
Mossy: For the last time, NO! Nobody wants to see your stupid chest scar! Nobody ever wanted to see it ever! Jeez, Mynk... can't believe you...
Mynk: ...Don't have to be so blunt... I can hear you!!!
Mossy: Well, DUH!
Mynk: ...Could have just left it at... "No".
Narrator: And they lived happily ever after… until the next radio drama. HA! Ahem… the credits…
Got the Point?, Chapter 1, The Mark of Crypt, was adapted by the comic by Joshua Littlewhiteman. The original comic can be found at gotthepoint.smackjeeves.com In this official production, the part of __ was played by __. Etc. Additional voices were provided by __
This was a collaborative production produced over the Internet. The lab, Piece Inc, provided taping and mixing. Production manager, and voice coach: Joshua Littlewhiteman
This, and other recordings can be found at gotthepoint.smackjeeves.com