A summary of episodes from season 2 of Master Chief Sucks at Ordering, a Youtube series by UltraHyperShadow.

Episode 1: Master Chief Sucks at Escaping Prison

Youtube link
Release date: September 1, 2008
Run time: 6:03
An opening crawl that recaps the series so far kicks off the season, but it is too fast to be readable. Master Chief tells the Arbiter to slow it down. Afterwords, Master Chief gives advice on how to live in and escape from prison. Eventually, he starts an escape attempt through a Pokemon battle, and encounters Tom Cruise guarding the Arbiter. The Arbiter asks to stay behind as he has a plan. Master Chief agrees and leaves. After the credits, Cortana is shown telling Obama that she informed Master Chief of his destiny.


Teaser Youtube link
Release date: July 26, 2008
Run time: 0:34
Teaser 2 Youtube link
Release date: July 29, 2008
Run time: 0:26
Trailer Youtube link
Release date: August 9, 2008
Run time: 2:24


  • When Master Chief explains how to deal with unruly prisoners, he suggests "shoving their head up their ass" (a reference to Hancock) or throwing cooking fat in their face (a reference to Watchmen)
  • When Master Chief suggests using his one phone call, the Joker is shown, referencing a scene from The Dark Knight. The person Master Chief calls is George Costanza (from a Seinfeld episode, "The Susie"), and George's famous answering machine picks up instead
  • Master Chief tells Tom Cruise to "literally fuck his own face," and Tom Cruise says "that's my line!," as that line is spoken by Cruise's character in Tropic Thunder

Episode 2: Master Chief Sucks at Voting

Youtube link
Release date: November 4, 2008
Run time: 6:08
Master Chief explains how to register to vote and describes the candidates. When it comes time for Master Chief to vote, John McCain and Sarah Palin battle Obama and Joe Biden in a climactic fistfight. The fight abruptly ends with no clear winner, with the video saying the real winner of the election will decide the winner of the fight.


Trailer Youtube link
Release date: October 25, 2008
Run time: 0:50


  • First appearance of John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Joe Biden

Episode 3: Master Chief Meets the Network

Youtube link
Release date: November 22, 2008
Run time: 8:03
The midseason finale. After a short "previously" segment, the votes of the election are counted and Barack Obama is the winner. Back at the "evil lair," however, the King is enraged that Obama won over McCain. He asks the Angry Video Game Nerd, Chris Hansen, and Chad Warden for suggestions to no avail. Jack Thompson points out that he tries to be helpful, but the King responds that Thompson has been disbarred (a real life event) and has outlived his usefulness, prompting the King to shoot him. Hillary Clinton appears to make a deal with the other villains. Meanwhile, Cortana arrives with the Arbiter, who she has freed from jail, and they explain the history of the Network to Master Chief. Founded ten years earlier, the Network included many of the series characters, heroes and villains, until a split five years earlier in which the Arbiter, Cortana, and Obama left the group. Cortana explains that the villains are about to attack the White House. Assassins arrive and kill Joe Biden as Hillary confronts Obama. Master Chief protests Obama's sacrifice and the Arbiter and Cortana try to get him to escape with them. Hillary and Obama have their final confrontation, and Hillary kills Obama.


  • The song that plays when the King shoots Thompson is "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap; a popular Youtube fad involves playing the song during dramatic shooting-related death scenes inspired by a Saturday Night Live sketch which was in turn parodying an OC episode
  • This is the first normal episode to not have "sucks at" or "vs" in the title
  • With the death of Jack Thompson, all of the original villains from season 1 have died (though two season 2 villains, Tom Cruise and the King, appear at the very end of season 1)

Episode 4: Master Chief vs the Superweapon

Youtube link
Release date: January 17, 2009
Run time: 8:35
Master Chief awakens after knocking himself unconscious 27 seconds earlier and learns the King's superweapon is hidden in a field. He, the Arbiter, and Cortana go there in the Batmobile but find nothing. Meanwhile, the King activates the device, which rises from under the ground and sends a giant laser into the sky. However, no one dies, and Cortana realizes the "weapon" is actually a portal to an unknown dimension. Master Chief and the Arbiter attempt to fight off Hillary Clinton as Cortana enters the portal, but both are defeated and Cortana returns to save them as Hillary escapes. Master Chief says that they must now enter the portal and find where it leads.


Teaser Youtube link
Release date: December 14, 2008
Run time: 1:06
Super Trailer Youtube link
Release date: December 24, 2008
Run time: 3:15
Fan teaser Youtube link
Release date: November 29, 2008
Run time: 2:31


  • This is the longest individual episode of the series
  • This is the first episode to feature real time fight scenes
  • This is the first episode to be uploaded in high quality on Youtube

Episode 5: Master Chief Sucks at Time Travel

Youtube link
Release date: February 13, 2009
Run time: 6:38
After a short "previously" segment, Master Chief and the Arbiter discuss the portal. The Arbiter says they must enter through a specific bearing, 269, or risk "side effects." The Arbiter and Cortana enter the portal with a fleet of ships and find the Ark, a massive station floating in space. Cortana says the Ark can control space and time. Master Chief enters the portal on the wrong bearing and is suddenly sent back in time to 1952, where he meets L. Ron Hubbard, who has just invented Scientology. Master Chief is sent to a later time before he can figure out what is happening. There, he meets a young McDonalds employee and encourages him to leave his job before getting sent to an even later time. He overhears CATS and Jack Thompson describing how the King told them Master Chief is time traveling. They see him, but he gets sent to an earlier time before they can attack. Master Chief then witnesses the King observing his own birth (as seen in the movie) and is then spotted by Sergeant Johnson before being sent to an indeterminate time. There, he encounters the McDonalds employee again. The employee tells him that he quit McDonalds and founded his own restaraunt, Burger King. The employee then shows off his new uniform--revealing he is none other than the King himself. Master Chief then remarks "time travel is a bitch."


  • Due to predestination paradoxes, Master Chief is responsible for giving Hubbard the idea to add aliens to Scientology, influencing Johnson to design his own SPARTAN armor, and most importantly, causing a McDonalds employee to become the King
  • When Master Chief says the expression "what's the plan, Sam," another SPARTAN says he doesn't know and Master Chief says he's not a part of the series. The other SPARTAN is Sam, Master Chief's son from Zombamazomba's Master Chief Sucks series
  • This episode explains why the King was observing Master Chief at birth: he wanted to see the genesis of the time traveling person who would become his archenemy
  • This episode's "Previously" segment parodies Lost's, using the show's "Previously on" audio and music from the show
  • Master Chief Sucks at Ordering's time travel is based on Lost's, specifically the random jumps to different time periods. The sound effect used when Master Chief jumps through time is the same used on Lost. The idea of entering the portal on a certain bearing or risking time travel side effects is also taken from Lost; the Arbiters comment that "there could be...side effects" is almost exactly what Daniel Faraday says in "The Constant" about leaving the island on the wrong bearing. Finally, Master Chief's closing comment, "time travel's a bitch," is spoken by Sawyer in "The Little Prince"

Episode 6: Master Chief Sucks at Constants

Youtube link
Release date: February 27, 2009
Run time: 6:14
The Arbiter and Cortana hold up the Ark's control room in a parody of Pulp Fiction. Master Chief meets Obama and Biden and tries to convince them to leave the Network and avoid the King before being sent to the present. The Arbiter and Cortana manage to tell Master Chief to obtain a constant, or a person who is in the past and present that anchors them in time, before he is sent back in time again. The Arbiter and Cortana encounter the King, who taunts them about the prophecy's possibility of failing before leaving them captive to Chad Warden, the Angry Video Game Nerd, and Chris Hansen. Meanwhile, Master Chief meets Tom Cruise and accidentally makes him join Scientology. He then meets the Arbiter and Cortana's past selves, inadvertently informing them both about constants and the prophecy, as well as the King being evil. He jumps back to the present again, having successfully found his two constants, but is met by the King when he arrives at the Ark.


  • This episode's title and plot refer to the Lost episode "The Constant," in which it is revealed that time travelers need a constant, or something familiar in both time periods, to avoid death
  • Like the previous episode, Master Chief creates several predestination paradoxes: warning Obama, Biden, the Arbiter, and Cortana about the King; making Tom Cruise join Scientology; telling the Arbiter and Cortana about constants (which they themselves tell him about in the future); and telling them about the prophecy, meaning it is not a prophecy at all
  • The Arbiter and Cortana's hold up of the control room at the beginning of the episode is a parody of the famous opening scene of Pulp Fiction; even the opening titles parody Pulp Fiction's
  • Master Chief references Lost's version of constants by pointing out that characters on the show only get nosebleeds instead of having their brains explode when time travelling; the Arbiter says this is because Lost isn't real life

Episode 7: Master Chief Sucks at Super Smash Bros.

Youtube link
Release date: March 10, 2009
Run time: 8:12
Master Chief asks the King what he wants, and the King explains that today is March 9, the one year anniversary of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. He says CATS wanted the game cancelled to annoy Master Chief and lead him into the King's hands. The King says he will let Master Chief go if he can win a Brawl match. Master Chief gives some tips on the game before the match begins. Hillary Clinton and the King team up as Lucas and Diddy Kong, respectively, while Master Chief chooses Captain Falcon. After a pitched match, Master Chief wins. The Arbiter and Cortana escape, saying they know where the Ark's master computer is, and the King executes Chad Warden as punishment. After the credits, a "Challenger Approaching" silhouette reveals a new character.


  • This episode was supposed to be uploaded on March 9, 2009, the one year anniversary of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but Youtube technical difficulties forced a one day delay
  • This episode marks the first time a solid date has been presented in the series--the episode takes place on March 9, 2009

Episode 8: Master Chief Sucks at Computers

Youtube link
Release date: March 23, 2009
Run time: 4:33
Master Chief, the Arbiter, and Cortana find the Ark's supercomputer. After trying two wrong passwords, they successfully access the computer with the password "King," which the Arbiter thinks was too easy. They navigate the file tree until they locate a countdown to the Ark's laser firing: 3 hours 45 minutes. Meanwhile, Sergeant Johnson negotiates with the King: if the King does not willingly surrender, Johnson will invade the Ark and capture him dead or alive. The King refuses to surrender. After the credits, Hillary Clinton kills one of the King's own guards on board the Ark while trying to access a restricted area for unknown reasons.


  • Despite Cortana's claim that the computer is running Windows, none of the interfaces in the episode resemble any Windows operating system
  • Master Chief bashing Apple Mac computers is a reference to the fact that the Halo series is a Microsoft property
  • The King has several files of interest on his desktop, including "Spartan project" and "Master Chief" (references to Master Chief and the project that created him), "Girls" (a reference to the movie version of Watchmen, in which Adrian Veidt has a folder called "Boys"), "Crysis" (a computer game notorious for its high system requirements), "uTorrent" (a torrent downloading software), "Pyramid Deliveries" (another Watchmen reference), and "Youtube" (the site on which episodes of the series are released). Other files reference the Ark's time jumping, the Network, recruiting, and fiscal years. Another folder called "Hidden porn folder" can be seen in the "Admin controls" folder
  • When Chris Hansen claims he "wants" the King, "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen starts playing. This is a reference to a controversial sex scene from Watchmen featuring this music

Episode 9: Master Chief vs Hillary Clinton

Release date: April 24, 2009
Master Chief and Hillary Clinton have a duel to the death as the Ark’s laser prepares to fire.[1]


Trailer Youtube link
Release date: March 28, 2009
Run time: 2:34


  • This episode's trailer is the first to explicitly preview more than one episode: it also confirms the titles of "Master Chief Sucks at Remakes 2" and the finale

Episode 10: Master Chief Sucks at Remakes 2

Release date: May 8, 2009
Master Chief's second adventure remade with better audio.[2]


  • Scenes from this episode were first previewed in the trailer for "Master Chief vs Hillary Clinton"

Episodes 11 and 12: Master Chief: The Second Finale (Parts 1 and 2)

Release date: May 15, 2009
Master Chief, the Arbiter, and Cortana ready themselves for a confrontation for the ages with the King himself in the epic season 2 climax! As the Ark’s laser prepares to fire, the forces of good must save the world once again![3]


Release date: May 9, 2009


  • Scenes from this episode were first previewed in the trailer for "Master Chief vs Hillary Clinton"

Upcoming Episodes

  • Episode 9: Master Chief vs Hillary Clinton (April 24, 2009)
  • Episode 10: Master Chief Sucks at Remakes 2 (May 8, 2009)
  • Season Finale - Episodes 11/12: Master Chief: The Second Finale (Parts 1 and 2) (May 15, 2009)

Master Chief Sucks at Ordering
Season 1 - Season 2
Special Episodes
Minisodes - Movie
List of characters - The Network
List of tropes

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