Meg is the fourteenth episode of the third season of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends, and the sixty-sixth episode overall. It is a parody of the Thomas & Friends episode, Mavis.
- Grandpa Dave (from Arthur) as Toby
- Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) as Diesel
- Meg (from Family Guy) as Mavis
- Goombas (from Mario) as The Troublesome Trucks
- Ten Cents (from TUGS) as Bertie (cameo)
- Scooby Doo (from Scooby Doo) as Terence (cameo)
- Lazy Luke (from Wacky Races) as Jem Cole (cameo)
- Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt (mentioned)
- Everyone else as Themselves
Narrator: "Meg is a teenage girl who works for the quarry company, arranging goombas in their sidings. She has a pink shirt and hat.
Meg is young, and full of her own ideas. She loves rearranging things, too, and began putting Grandpa Dave's goombas in different places every day. This made Grandpa Dave cross."
Grandpa Dave: "Goombas,"
Narrator: "He grumbled,"
Grandpa Dave: "should be where you want them, when you want them!"
Narrator: "Said Meg, and flounced away.
At last, Grandpa Dave lost patience."
Grandpa Dave: "I can't waste time playing 'Hunt the Goombas' with you, take them yourself!"
Narrator: "Meg was pleased. Taking goombas made her feel important.
At the station, Mr. Burns oiled up to her."
Meg: "Grandpa Dave's an old fusspot!"
Narrator: "She complained.
Mr. Burns sensed trouble, and was delighted.
Meg: "Grandpa Dave says only aardvarks can manage goombas!"
Narrator: "Continued Meg."
Mr. Burns: "How absurd."
Narrator: "Squirmed Mr. Burns."
Mr. Burns: "Depend upon it, Meg, anything aardvarks can do, we humans can do better."
Narrator: "Mr. Burns knew nothing about goombas, but Meg didn't realize this.
Grandpa Dave's line crosses the main road behind the station, and for a short way, follows a farm lane. Frosty weather makes the muddy lane rock-hard and very slippery.
Grandpa Dave stops before reaching the line. His fireman halts the traffic at the crossing, and then he sets off again. By using the heavy goombas to push him along, he has no trouble with the frosty path in the lane. It is the only safe thing to do in this kind of weather.
Grandpa Dave warned Meg, and told her just what to do.
Meg: "I can manage, thank you."
Narrator: "She replied."
Meg: "I'm not an old fusspot like you."
Narrator: "The goombas were tired of being pushed around by Meg."
Goombas: "It's slippery."
Narrator: "They whispered."
Goombas: "Let's push her around instead. On, on, on!"
Narrator: "They yelled.
Meg took no notice. Instead, she took the goombas carefully down the lane, and stopped at the level crossing.
All traffic halted."
Meg: "One in the head for fusspot Grandpa Dave!"
Narrator: "Chortled Meg.
But Meg had stopped in the wrong place. Instead of taking Grandpa Dave's advice, she had given the goombas the chance they wanted."
Goombas: "Hold back! Hold back!"
Narrator: "They cried."
Meg: "Grrr! Up!"
Narrator: "Ordered Meg.
The goombas just laughed, and her feet stuck helplessly.
Workmen sanded the path, and tried to dig away the frozen mud, but it was no good.
Everyone was impatient."
Narrator: "Wailed Meg.
Grandpa Dave was in the yard when he heard the news."
Grandpa Dave: "I warned her."
Narrator: "He fumed."
Grandpa Dave's Driver: "She's young yet,"
Narrator: "Soothed his driver."
Grandpa Dave's Driver: "And,"
Grandpa Dave: "She can manage her goombas herself!"
Narrator: "Interrupted Grandpa Dave."
Grandpa Dave's Driver: "They're your goombas, really."
Narrator: "His driver replied."
Grandpa Dave's Driver: "Meg is supposed to stay at the quarry. If Mayor Adam West finds out..."
Grandpa Dave: "Hmmm, yes"
Narrator: "Said Grandpa Dave thoughtfully. He and his driver agreed that it would be best to help Meg after all.
An angry farmer was telling Meg just what she could do with her goombas."
Grandpa Dave: "Having trouble, Meg?"
Narrator: "Chortled Grandpa Dave."
Grandpa Dave: "I am surprised."
Narrator: "Said Meg.
With much puffing and slippery feet, Grandpa Dave pushed Meg and the goombas back. The hard work made his heart pound fiercely, and his fireman spread hot cinders to melt the frozen mud.
At last, they finished."
Grandpa Dave: "Good-bye."
Narrator: "Called Grandpa Dave."
Grandpa Dave: "You'll manage now, I expect."
Narrator: "Meg didn't answer.
She took the goombas to the sheds, and scuttled home to the quarry as quickly as she could."