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Mike and The Famous Visitor & Other Stories is a Pooh & Friends spoof to Gordon and The Famous Visitor & Other Stories, each containing two Season 1 episodes, two Season 2 episodes and three Season 3 episodes narrated by the late George Carlin.

Cast

  1. Winnie The Pooh as Thomas (Jim Cummings)
  2. Buzz Lightyear as Edward (Patrick Warburton)
  3. Randy Cunningham as Henry (Ben Schwartz)
  4. Mike Chilton as Gordon (Reid Scott)
  5. Zachary Pingrey as James (Scott Menville)
  6. Todd Daring as Percy (Nancy Cartwright)
  7. Kuzco as Toby (J.P. Manoux)
  8. Penn Zero as Duck (Thomas Middleditch)
  9. Timon as Donald (Quinton Flynn)
  10. Pumbaa as Douglas (Ernie Sabella)
  11. Lightning McQueen as Bertie (Owen Wilson)
  12. Scar as The Spiteful Break Van (Jim Cummings)
  13. Mickey Mouse as Sir Topham Hatt (Wayne Awlin)
  14. Pirates as Troublesome Trucks
  15. Princess Jasmine as Henrietta (Linda Larkin)
  16. Captain Hook as Diesel (Corey Burton)
  17. Chip as Bill (Tress MacNeille)
  18. Dale as Ben (Corey Burton)
  19. Copper The Hound Dog as Trevor (Kurt Russell)
  20. Mitchie O'Hara as Annie (Stephanie Morgenstern)
  21. Amethyst Giger as Clarabel (Grey Griffin)

Episodes

  1. Mike and The Famous Visitor
  2. Timon and Pumbaa
  3. The Deputation
  4. Trust Pooh
  5. Whistles and Sneezes
  6. Zachary In A Mess
  7. The Trouble With Mud

Scripts

Mike and The Famous Visitor

  • George Carlin: It was an important day in the yard. Everyone was excited, making notes and taking photographs. A special visitor had arrived, and was now the center of attention.
  • Pooh: Who's that?
  • George Carlin: Whispered Pooh to Penn: That...
  • George Carlin: Said Penn proudly.
  • Penn: ...is a celebrity.
  • Todd: A what?
  • George Carlin: Asked Todd.
  • Penn: A celebrity is a very famous character.
  • George Carlin: Replied Penn.
  • Penn: Driver says we can talk to him soon.
  • Pooh: Oh.
  • George Carlin: Said Pooh.
  • Pooh: He's probably too famous to even notice us.
  • George Carlin: Just then, Mike arrived.
  • Mike: Pah!
  • George Carlin: Said Mike.
  • Mike: Who cares? A lot of fuss about nothing, if you ask me.
  • George Carlin: And he steamed away. Later that night, the characters found that the visitor wasn't conceited at all. He enjoyed talking the engines, till' long after the stars came out. He left early next morning. Mike was still complaining.
  • Mike: Good riddance.
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Mike: Chattering all night. Who is he, anyway?
  • Pooh: Penn told you.
  • George Carlin: Replied Pooh.
  • Pooh: He's famous.
  • Mike: As famous as me? Nonsense.
  • Pooh: He's famouser than you. He went 100 miles an hour before you were thought of.
  • Mike: Huh. So he says.
  • George Carlin: Huffed Mike.
  • Mike: But I didn't like his looks. He's got no armor. Never trust domeless engines. They're not respectable. I never boast, but I'd say that 100 miles an hour would be easy for me. Goodbye.
  • George Carlin: Penn took some pirates to Buzz's station.
  • Buzz: Hello.
  • George Carlin: Called Buzz.
  • Buzz: That famous character came through this morning. He whistled to me. Wasn't he kind?
  • Penn: He's the finest character in the world.
  • George Carlin: Replied Penn, then he told Buzz what Mike had said.
  • Mike: Take no notice.
  • George Carlin: Soothed Mike.
  • Mike: He's just jealous. He thinks no character should be famous but him. Look, he's coming now.
  • George Carlin: Mike was running very fast. His wheels pounded the rails.
  • Mike: He did it, I'll do it. He did it, I'll do it!
  • George Carlin: Mike's train rocketed past, and was gone.
  • Penn: He'll knock himself to bits!
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Penn. Mike's driver eased him off.
  • Mike's Driver: Steady, Mike. We aren't running a race.
  • Mike: We are, then.
  • George Carlin: Said Mike, but he said it to himself. Suddenly, Mike began to feel a little strange.
  • Mike: The top of my boiler seems funny.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Mike: It feels as if something is loose! I'd better go slower.
  • George Carlin: But it was too late. On the viaduct, they met the wind. It was a teasing wind that blew suddenly at hard puffs. Mike thought it wanted to push him off the bridge.
  • Mike: No, you don't!
  • George Carlin: He said firmly. But the wind had other ideas. It curled round his boiler, crept under his loose dome, and lifted off and away into the valley below. Mike was most uncomfortable. The cold wind was whistling through his hole where his dome should be and he felt silly without it. At the big station, the pirates laughed at him. Mike tried to wheesh them away. But they crowded round', no matter what he did. On the way back home, he wanted his driver to stop and fetch his dome.
  • Mike's Driver: We'll never find it now.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Mike's Driver: You'll have to go to the works for a new one.
  • George Carlin: Mike was very cross.
  • Mike: I hope the shed is empty tonight.
  • George Carlin: He huffed to himself. But all the characters were there waiting.
  • A Voice: Never trust domeless characters.
  • George Carlin: Said a voice from somewhere behind him.
  • A Voice: They aren't respectable.

Timon and Pumbaa

  • George Carlin: Timon and Pumbaa are animals, and have arrived from the Savanna to help Mickey Mouse, but only one animal had been expected. The animals meant well, but did cause confusion. Mickey Mouse had given them numbers, Timon 9 and Pumbaa 10, but he was still planning to send one animal home. There was Scar in the yard that had taken a dislike to Pumbaa. Things always went wrong when he had to take it out. His trains were late and he was blamed. Pumbaa began to worry. Timon, his friend, was angry.
  • Timon: You're a muckle nuisance!
  • George Carlin: Said Timon.
  • Timon: It's to leave you behind I'd be wanting.
  • Scar: You can't!
  • George Carlin: Said Scar.
  • Scar: I'm essential!
  • Timon: Och are you?
  • George Carlin: Timon burst out.
  • Timon: You're nothing but a screeching and a noise when all set is done. Spite Pumbaa, would ya? Take that!
  • Scar: Ow! Ooh!
  • George Carlin: Cried Scar.
  • Timon: There's more coming should you misbehave.
  • George Carlin: Scar behave better after that. Until one day, Timon had an accident. The rails were slippery. He couldn't stop in time. Timon wasn't hurt, but Mickey Mouse was most annyoed.
  • Mickey Mouse: I am disappointed, Timon. I didn't expect such, er, clumsiness from you. I had decided to send Pumbaa back and keep you.
  • Timon: I'm sorry, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Timon.
  • Mickey Mouse: I should think so, too. You have upset my arrangements. Now Zachary will have to help you with the goods work, while you have your tender mended. Zacary won't like that.
  • George Carlin: Mickey Mouse was right. Zachary grumbled dreadfully about extra work.
  • Pumbaa: Anyone would think.
  • George Carlin: Said Pumbaa.
  • Pumbaa: That Timon had had his accident on purpose. I heard tell about a character and some tar wagons.
  • Zachary: Shut up!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Zachary.
  • Zachary: It's not funny.
  • George Carlin: He didn't like to be remind about his own accident.
  • Pumbaa: Well, well, well! Surely, Zachary, it wasn't you. You didn't say.
  • George Carlin: Zachary didn't say. He slouched sulkily away.
  • Scar: Zachary is cross!
  • George Carlin: Sniggered Scar.
  • Scar: We'll try to make him crosser still!
  • Pirates: Hold back!
  • George Carlin: Giggled the pirates to each other. Zachary did his best, but he was exhausted when they reached Buzz's station. Luckily, Pumbaa was there.
  • Zachary: Help me up the hill, please!
  • George Carlin: Panted Zachary.
  • Zachary: These pirates are playing tricks.
  • Pumbaa: We'll show them.
  • George Carlin: Said Pumbaa. Slowly but surely, the snorting characters forced the pirates up the hill. But Zachary was losing steam.
  • Zachary: I can't do it, I can't do it!
  • Pumbaa: Leave it to me!
  • George Carin: Shouted Pumbaa. The conductor was anxious.
  • Conductor: Go steady, Scar's breaking!
  • George Carlin: Scar was in pieces. No one had been hurt, and soon Buzz came to clear the mess. Mickey Mouse was on board.
  • Mickey Mouse: I might have known it would be Pumbaa.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Buzz: Pumbaa was grand, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Buzz.
  • Buzz: Zachary had no steam left, but Pumbaa worked hard enough for three. I heard him from my yard.
  • Mickey Mouse: Two would have been enough.
  • George Carlin: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey Mouse: I want to be fair, Pumbaa, but I don't know. I really don't know.
  • George Carlin: Mickey Mouse was making up his mind about which character to send away, but that's another story.

The Deputation

  • George Carlin: Snow came early to Disneyland. It was heavier than usual. Most characters hate snow. Timon and Pumbaa were used to it. Couple back to back with the van between their tenders and the snowplough in their fronts, they set to work. They puffed backwards and forward patrolling the line. Generally, the snow slipped away fiercely, but sometimes they found deeper drifts. Presently, they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing for another try when...
  • Randy: Help, help!
  • Pumbaa: Losh sakes, Timon! It's Randy! Don't worry yourself, Randy! Wait a while! We'll help you out!
  • George Carlin: Randy was very grateful. He saw all was not well. The animals were looking glum. They told him Mickey Mouse was making a decision.
  • Pumbaa: He'll send us away for sure.
  • Todd: It's a shame.
  • George Carlin: Said Todd.
  • Mike: A lot of nonsense about a broken signalbox.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Mike.
  • Zachary: That Scar too.
  • George Carlin: Put in Zachary.
  • Zachary: Good riddance. That's what I say.
  • Randy: The animals were splendid in the snow.
  • George Carlin: Added Randy.
  • Randy: It isn't fair.
  • George Carlin: They all agreed that something must be done, but none knew what. Todd decided to talk to Buzz about it.
  • Buzz: What you need...
  • George Carlin: Said Buzz.
  • Buzz: ...is a deputation.
  • George Carlin: He explained what that was. Todd ran back quickly.
  • Todd: Buzz says we need a depostation.
  • Mike: Of course.
  • George Carlin: Said Mike.
  • Mike: The question is...
  • Randy: What is a desperation?
  • George Carlin: Asked Randy.
  • Todd: It's when characters tell Mickey Mouse something's wrong.
  • George Carlin: Said Todd.
  • Penn: Did you say tell Mickey Mouse?
  • George Carlin: Asked Penn thoughtfully. There was a long silence.
  • Mike: I purpose.
  • George Carlin: Said Mike.
  • Mike: That Todd be our...um...disputation.
  • Todd: Me?!
  • George Carlin: Squeaked Todd.
  • Todd: I can't!
  • Randy: Rubbish, Todd.
  • George Carlin: Said Randy.
  • Randy: It's easy.
  • Mike: That's settled then.
  • George Carlin: Said Mike. Poor Todd wished it wasn't.
  • Mickey: Hello, Todd. It's nice to be back.
  • George Carlin: Todd jumped.
  • Todd: Uh, yes sir, please sir.
  • Mickey: You look nervous, Todd. What's the matter?
  • Todd: Please, sir, they made me a desperation, sir, to speak to you sir. I don't like it, sir.
  • George Carlin: Mickey Mouse pondered.
  • Mickey: Do you mean a deputation, Todd?
  • Todd: Yes sir, please sir. It's Timon and Pumbaa. They say, sir, that if you send them away, sir, well, they'll be turned to scrap, sir. That would be dreadful, sir. Please, sir, don't send them away.
  • Mickey: Thank you, Todd. That will do.
  • George Carlin: Later, Mickey Mouse spoke to the characters.
  • Mickey: I had a deputation. I understand your feelings and I give a lot of thought to the matter.
  • George Carlin: He paused impressively.
  • Mickey: Timon and Pumbaa, I hear that your work in the snow was good. You shall have a new coat of paint.
  • George Carlin: The animals were surprised.
  • Timon: Thank you, sir.
  • Mickey: But your names will be painted on you. We'll have no more mistakes.
  • Pumbaa: Thank you, sir. Uh, does this mean that the both of us?
  • George Carlin: Mickey Mouse smiled.
  • Mickey: It means...
  • George Carlin: But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles. The animals were here to stay.

Trust Pooh

  • George Carlin: Winnie the Pooh was feeling bright and cheerful. It was a splendid day.
  • Pooh: Good morning.
  • George Carlin: He whistled to some cows, but the cows didn't reply.
  • Pooh: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Said Pooh.
  • Pooh: They're busy with their breakfast.
  • George Carlin: Next he saw Lightning.
  • Pooh: Hello, Lightning. Care for a race today?
  • George Carlin: But all Lightning could say was...
  • Lightning: Ouch! That's another hole in the road!
  • Pooh: I'm sorry, Lightning.
  • George Carlin: Smiled Pooh. Pooh was still in good spirits when Bertie arrived at the next station.
  • Pooh: Bad luck, Lightning. Now if you're a steam character, you would run a repair on reliable rails.
  • Lightning: Huh!
  • George Carlin: Replied Lightning.
  • Lightning: The railway was suppose to deliver the tar to mend the road two weeks ago. You can't trust a thing that runs on rails.
  • Pooh: I run on rails. You can trust me, Lightning. I'll see if I can find out what's happened.
  • George Carlin: And Pooh puffed away towards the big station. Zachary was snorting about in the yard.
  • Zachary: It's too bad!
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Zachary: Todd goes to work at the harbour and I do his job, here, there and everywhere! Take that!
  • Pirates: Ooh!
  • George Carlin: Groaned the pirates.
  • Pirates: Just you wait, we'll show you!
  • George Carlin: Mike laughed.
  • Mike: I'll tell you what, Zachary. If you pretended to be ill everywhere, you couldn't freight cars here, or go to the quarry there, could you?
  • Zachary: What a good idea.
  • George Carlin: Agreed Zachary.
  • Zachary: Look, here comes Pooh. I'll start pretending now
  • George Carlin: Pooh was sorry to see the characters looking miserable
  • Pooh: Cheer up.
  • George Carlin: He puffed.
  • Pooh: It's a beautiful day.
  • Mike: Yes.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Mike.
  • Mike: But not for Zachary.
  • Pooh: What's the matter?
  • George Carlin: Asked Pooh.
  • Mike: He's sick.
  • George Carlin: Replied Mike.
  • Zachary: Yes he is. I mean I am.
  • George Carlin: Stuttered Zachary.
  • Zachary: I don't feel well at all.
  • Pooh: Don't worry.
  • George Carlin: Said Pooh kindly.
  • Pooh: I'll help out if you're ill.
  • George Carlin: Mike and Zachary sniggered quietly to each other. Some of Zachary's pirates were coupled behind Pooh and he steamed away to the quarry. The pirates were still cross.
  • Pirates: We couldn't pay Zachary back for bumping us, so we'll play tricks on Pooh instead. One character is as good as another.
  • George Carlin: But Pooh didn't hear them. He collected all the stone from the quarry and set off back to the junction. Danger lay ahead.
  • Pirates: Now for our plan!
  • George Carlin: Giggled the pirates.
  • Pirates: Go faster, go faster!
  • George Carlin: They pushed Pooh over the switches.
  • Driver: Slow down!
  • George Carlin: Called Pooh's driver and applied the brakes.
  • (Pooh hits the buffers, and a log snaps apart, sending him floating into another set of buffers)
  • George Carlin: Poor Pooh stood dazed and surprised in the muddy pool, as a toad eyed in suspiciously.
  • Pooh: Bust my buffers.
  • George Carlin: Muttered Pooh.
  • Pooh: The day started so well too.
  • George Carlin: Penn pulled away the pirates, and Buzz helped Pooh back to the junction. Suddenly, Pooh remembered the missing tar. He told Buzz all about it.
  • Buzz: That's strange.
  • George Carlin: Said Buzz.
  • Buzz: A car full of tar been left in my station. That must be it. Driver will make sure it gets to Lightning now.
  • George Carlin: Later, Zachary spoke to Pooh.
  • Zachary: I'm sorry about your accident.
  • George Carlin: He muttered.
  • Zachary: And so is Mike. We didn't mean to get you into trouble.
  • Mike: No indeed.
  • George Carlin: Spluttered Mike.
  • Mike: A near misunderstanding, Pooh, all's well that ends well.
  • George Carlin: Just then Lightning arrived. He looked much more cheerful.
  • Lightning: My road's being mended now.
  • Pooh: Oh, I am glad.
  • George Carlin: Replied Pooh.
  • Lightning: Thanks for all you did.
  • George Carlin: Added Lightning.
  • Lightning: Now I know I can trust a character especially his name is Pooh Bear.
  • George Carlin: Mike and Zachary puffed silently away to the shed, but Pooh still had company.
  • Pooh: Well, well.
  • George Carlin: He sighed.
  • Pooh: What a day for surprises.
  • George Carlin: The toad who was looking forward to arrive home noisly agreed.

Whistles and Sneezes

  • George Carlin: Mike was cross.
  • Mike: Why should Randy have a new shape?
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Mike: A shape good enough for me is good enough for him. He goes gallivanting off, leaving us to do his work, and comes back saying how happy he feels. It's disgraceful. And there's another thing: Randy whistles too much. No respectable character ever whistles loudly at stations. It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: Poor Randy didn't feel happy anymore.
  • Todd: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Whispered Todd.
  • Todd: I'm glad you're home again. I like your whistling.
  • Mike: Goodbye, Randy.
  • George Carlin: Called Mike.
  • Mike: We're glad to have you with us again. But remember what I said.
  • George Carlin: Later, Randy stopped at Buzz's station.
  • Buzz: Hello, Randy.
  • George Carlin: Said Buzz.
  • Buzz: You look splendid. I was pleased to hear your happy whistle yesterday.
  • Randy: Thank you, Buzz.
  • George Carlin: Smiled Randy.
  • (We hear a screeching noise)
  • Randy: Shh, shh. Can you hear something?
  • Buzz: It sounds like Mike.
  • George Carlin: Said Buzz.
  • Buzz: And it ought to be Mike. But Mike never whistles like that.
  • George Carlin: It was Mike. He came rushing down the hill of a tremendous rate. He didn't look at Randy and he didn't look at Buzz. He screamed straight through the station and disappeared.
  • Buzz: Well.
  • George Carlin: Said Buzz.
  • Randy: It isn't wrong.
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Randy.
  • Randy: But we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: And he told Buzz what Mike had said. Meanwhile, Mike screeched along the line. The noise was awful. At the station, everyone covered their ears. Mickey Mouse covered his ears too.
  • Mickey: Take him away!
  • George Carlin: He bellowed.
  • Mickey: And stop that noise!
  • George Carlin: Mike puffed sadly away. But he wouldn't stop whistling until two fitters climbed up and knocked his whistle valve in place. That night, Mike slunked into the shed. He was glad it was empty.
  • Randy: It isn't wrong.
  • George Carlin: Murmured Randy to no one in particular.
  • Randy: But we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: No one mentioned whistles. Next morning, Randy was enjoying himself enormously.
  • Randy: I feel so well, I feel so well.
  • George Carlin: He sang.
  • Coaches: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock.
  • George Carlin: Hummed his coaches. Then he saw some boys on a bridge.
  • Randy: Peep-peep. Hello.
  • George Carlin: He whistled.
  • (The boys smash the coaches' windows with stones)
  • Randy: Ohh.
  • George Carlin: He called. The boys didn't wave and take his number. They thought it fun to drop stones on him instead.
  • Coaches: They've broken our glass, they've broken our glass.
  • George Carlin: Cried the coaches. The passengers weren't hurt, but they were cross.
  • Passengers: Call the police!
  • Driver: No.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Leave it to Randy and me.
  • Passengers: What will you do?
  • George Carlin: They asked.
  • Passengers: Can you keep a secret?
  • Randy: Yes, yes.
  • Driver: Well then.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Randy is going to sneeze at those boys.
  • George Carlin: Lots of people were at the station just before the bridge. They wanted to see what would happen.
  • Driver: Randy has plenty of ashes.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Please keep all windows shut until we haved passed the bridge. Randy's is excited as we are. Aren't you, old fellow?
  • George Carlin: Randy felt more stuffed up than excitement. Soon, they could see the boys. And they all had stones.
  • Driver: Are you ready, Randy?
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Sneeze hard when I tell you. Now.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Randy: Ah-choo!
  • (Randy sneezes at the boys and they were covered in ashes)
  • Driver: Well done, Randy.
  • George Carlin: Laughed his driver. Randy went home, hoping that next time he saw Mike and the boys, they would have learned not to be so mean.

Zachary In A Mess

  • George Carlin: Kuzco and Princess Jasmine were enjoying their new job on Disneyland, but they do look old fashioned and did need new clothes. Zachary was very rude whenever he saw them.
  • Zachary: Yech! What dirty objects!
  • George Carlin: He would say. At last, Kuzco lost patience.
  • Kuzco: Ron?
  • George Carlin: He asked.
  • Kuzco: Why are you red?
  • Zachary: I am a splendid boy.
  • George Carlin: Answered Zachary.
  • Zachary: Ready for anything. You never see my paint dirty.
  • Kuzco: Oh.
  • George Carlin: Said Kuzco earnestly.
  • Kuzco: That's why you once needed bootlaces to be ready I suppose.
  • George Carlin: Zachary went redder than ever and snorted off. It was such an insult to be remind how the time the bootlace have been use to mend a hole in his coaches. At the end of the line, Ron left his coaches and got out to his next train. It was a slow freight, stopping at every station to pick up and set down pirates. Zachary hated slow freight trains.
  • Zachary: Dirty pirates from dirty sidings! Yech!
  • George Carlin: Starting an only a few, he picked up more and more pirates at each station till he had a long train. At first, the pirates behaved well, but Zachary bumped them so crossly that they were determined to get back at him. Presently, they approached the top of Mike's Hill. Heavy freight trains halt here to set the brakes. Zachary had had an accident with cars before and should have remembered this.
  • Driver: Wait, Zachary, wait!
  • George Carlin: Said the driver, but Zachary wouldn't wait. He was too busy thinking what he would say to Kuzco when they next met. The pirates' chance had come.
  • Pirates: Hurrah! Hurrah!
  • George Carlin: They laughed, and banging their buffers they pushed him down the hill.
  • Pirates: On, on!
  • George Carlin: Yelled the pirates.
  • Zachary: I've got to stop, I've got to stop!
  • George Carlin: Groaned Zachary. Disaster lay ahead.
  • (Zachary crashes into the tar wagons)
  • George Carlin: Something sticky splashed all over Zachary. He had run into two tar wagons, and was black from smokebox to cab. He was more dirty than hurt, but the tar wagons and some cars were all to pieces. Kuzco and Todd were sent to help and came as quickly as they could.
  • Kuzco: Look!
  • George Carlin: Explained Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: Whatever is that dirty object?
  • Todd: That's Zachary, didn't you know?
  • Kuzco: It's Zachary's shape.
  • George Carlin: Said Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: But Zachary is a splendid character and you'll never see his paint dirty.
  • George Carlin: Zachary pretended he hadn't heard. Kuzco and Todd cleared away the unhurt pirates and help Zachary home. Mickey Mouse met them.
  • Mickey: Well done, Todd and Kuzco.
  • George Carlin: He turned to Zachary.
  • Mickey: Fancy letting your pirates run away. I am surprised. You're not fit to be seen. You must be cleaned at once. Kuzco shall have a new coat of paint.
  • Kuzco: Please sir, can Jasmine have one too?
  • George Carlin: Said Kuzco.
  • Mickey: Certainly, Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: Oh thank you, sir. She will pleased.
  • George Carlin: All Zachary could do as watch Kuzco as he ran off happily with the news.

The Trouble With Mud

  • George Carlin: One morning, Pooh was being cleaned when Mike arrived. Mud had blown all over his body.
  • Pooh: Hello, Mike.
  • George Carlin: Called Pooh.
  • Pooh: You look as you had a mud bath. Be a sensible character and have a shower instead.
  • George Carlin: Mike snorted.
  • Mike: I haven't time to dawdle over my appearance like fussy characters do.
  • George Carlin: The wind blew stronger.
  • Driver: Mike, slow down!
  • George Carlin: Called his driver. This made Mike crosser still.
  • Mike: Now I'll be dirty and late, dirty and late!
  • George Carlin: He hissed. At the next station was a sign: All Trains Must Wash Down Daily. Zachary had just finished being cleaned.
  • Driver: Come on, Mike.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: You feel better too after a good hosedown.
  • Mike: Bah!
  • George Carlin: Said Mike and angrily let off steam.
  • Driver: You're a very naughty character!
  • George Carlin: Said Mike's driver.
  • Driver: Now Zachary will need another shower. You'll have to wait your turn till later.
  • Mike: Good riddance.
  • George Carlin: Huffed Mike.
  • Mike: I'm far too busy to waste time with water.
  • George Carlin: He finished his journey safely and steamed into the big station. Mickey Mouse was waiting. So are Mike's coaches and the passengers.
  • Mickey: Goodness gracious!
  • George Carlin: Said Mickey.
  • Mickey: You can't pull the train, Randy will have to do it. Mike, you better get cleaned straight away.
  • George Carlin: Mike was soon being washed.
  • Mike: Mind my eyes!
  • George Carlin: He grumbled. Then he pulled pirates for the rest of the day.
  • Mike: Freight trains, freight trains!
  • George Carlin: He spluttered. He felt his position deeply.
  • Mike: That's for you, and you, and you!
  • Zachary: Pirates will be Pirates.
  • George Carlin: Laughed Zachary.
  • Mike: They won't with me.
  • George Carlin: Snorted Mike.
  • Mike: I'll teach them.
  • George Carlin: Zachary got ready to take the express when Mike returned.
  • Mike: Be careful.
  • George Carlin: Warned Mike.
  • Mike: The hills are slippery. You may need help.
  • Zachary: I don't need help on hills.
  • George Carlin: Replied Zachary huffily.
  • Zachary: Mike thinks he knows everything.
  • George Carlin: Earlier the storm had slipped Mike's Hill blowing leaves on the tracks which made them slippery. Even know the storm had passed, the hill was still difficult to climb. Zachary knew this. The signal shown cleared, and Zachary began to go faster.
  • Zachary: I'll do it, I'll do it.
  • George Carlin: He puffed. Halfway up, he was not so sure.
  • Zachary: I must do it, I must do it.
  • George Carlin: But his feet slipped on the leaves. He couldn't pull the train at all.
  • Zachary: Help, help!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Zachary. His feet were turning forward, but the heavy coaches pulled him backwards. The haul train started slipping down the hill. His driver shut off steam and put on the brakes, then carefully he stopped the train. Mike saw everything.
  • Mike: Ah well, we live and learn. Never mind, little James. I'm going to push behind.
  • George Carlin: Clouds of smoke and steam billowed from the snorting characters as they struggled up the hill.
  • Zachary: We can do it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Zachary.
  • Mike: We will do it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Mike. At last they reached the top.
  • Zachary: Peep peep! Thank you, goodbye!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Zachary.
  • Mike: Boop boop!
  • George Carlin: Answered Mike.
  • Mike: Goodbye!
  • George Carlin: That night, Mickey Mouse came to see the characters. Mike was miserable.
  • Pooh: Please, sir?
  • George Carlin: Said Pooh.
  • Pooh: Can Mike pull coaches again now?
  • Mickey: If you understand that having a washdown as a sensle to every character, then yes, Mike, you may.
  • Mike: Thank you.
  • George Carlin: Grunted Mike.
  • Mike: Dirty or clean, I'm a famous machine!
  • George Carlin: But no one heard but him.

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