Milneland - Jaffeland Soccer Rivalry

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The Jaffeland vs. Milneland Soccer Rivalry is a rivalry that has been going on for over 60 years. But many fans really think it started in 1982.

1982 WC

The rivalry in many fans eyes started in the 1982 World Cup. The 2 powerhouses were placed in the same group. They would come into the final Group game both with 6 points. With 88 mins. gone by already, the score was 2-2. Milneland striker Jack Stock would initally score a goal which would at the time give Milneland the win. But just about 30 seconds after the goal was scored the Offical would call an offside. This would stir up amazing controversy, when it was obvious that Stock was not off sides. A minaute later Jaffeland would score the winning goal. It would eventualy turn out that already very controversial coach Bob Jacksoney payed the Ref to give Jaffeland the win. Both Jacksoney, and the ref would be banned from the sport. Jaffeland would go on to lose to Wightmanland in the quarters, and whightmanland would beat Milneland in the finals.

1986 World Cup

The 1986 World Cup represented Milneland at its finest. Coming into the semifinals, Milneland (ranked 18th in the world at the time) had a very good run in the World Cup; however, Jaffeland were ranked 3rd going into the match and had not lost since a friendly against Italy in 1983. JBC predicted a Jaffeland romp. However, Jaffeland were unable to find any openings at all in the first half. Milneland, on the other hand, was able to get through the Jaffelandian defenders with ease. The game was scoreless until the 83rd minute, in which Milneland striker Marc Fermont scored by way of the crossbar. The referee took quite a bit of time deciding if the goal was allowed, so an unprecedented six minutes of stoppage time was added, giving the Jaffelandians hope for a goal to even the match. However, this was not to be; Milneland midfielder Patrick Milton kicked an amazing goal over the heads of several Jaffeland players from well outside the box in the 95th minute. Milneland went on to win the World Cup, beating Germany in the final 4-0.

1990 World Cup

With Milneland coming off its only World Cup to date, the team's morale was incredibly high, and they were undefeated between 1986 and 1990. Milneland were also ranked No. 1 in the world for the first time in history following their World Cup victory. Going into the 1990 World Cup, the team was expecting to make it to the final again. However, following a controversial call that gave a red card to Milneland's star striker Chris Cheshire (it was later revealed on the replay cameras that the player who Cheshire "pushed" actually tripped and slid a few metres, winding up a good deal in front of him), Jaffeland went on to beat Milneland in the semifinals, 5-4 on penalty kicks. Milneland went on to make mincemeat out of Portugal, 6-1, in the third place match, starting a "tradition" that continues to this day.


After the 1990 World Cup disappointment, Milneland immediately dropped to 2nd place in the world and kept on dropping. On the other hand, Jaffeland were red-hot, feeling invincible after beating their old nemesis Milneland. Jaffeland would make the finals three times, 98', 02', 06' losing 2 of 3. Jaffeland have been considered the Man United of international play, winning a lot yet remaining cool. Milneland were considered a really good version of the Blackburn Rovers another really cool team. Milneland were a regular fixture at the third place match. Ever since 1990, Milneland have always lost their semifinal match, usually by incredibly close margins, but beaten their opponent in the third place match, always by 3 points or more. A recurring joke in the Milneland national team's training ground is that Milneland will always finish third, no matter who else was in the tournament. However, Jaffeland have had much greater success, winning the 2006 World Cup after just barely beating Milneland in the semifinals, 3-2 in extra time. The rivalry is still one of the biggest in the world of sports, with both teams trying to outperform the other.

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