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Hi everyone, go ahead and edit here. You can sign your name by typing four tilde characters in a row, which makes this: Su-Laine 16:40, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
-- Thanks to Su-Laine for setting this up! I have just discovered that in order for the signature to work, you first need to log in with a username, password, and your email.
We will eventually establish a permannt wiki on the Momentum website - this is a practice wiki since we haven't been able to set that up yet. --Amyrides 18:07, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
A penchant for 50s rockabilly style, jeans, pompadours, old-school fat-tire bikes... Etc.
Skinny jeans, asymmetrical haircuts, listens to... Etc.etc.
Field Guide: "Freak Bike" aka "Chopper" Riders
downtown style, great hair, Freak Bikers (choppers) patches and leather, home-made hard-to ride bikes, can be seen at the Science World Gazebo drinking pilsner on a friday night
Scientific Name: “commuter velocitus” Common Name: “common commuter”
By Bonnie Fenton
Can be Seen: Common commuters can be seen on roads and bike routes in the early mornings and late afternoons. Although usually found in more densely populated areas, commuters tend to travel alone. They congregate in the downtown core in the mornings and return to their nests at the end of the day.
Likes to Hang Out: Common commuters can sometimes be seen at Mountain Equipment Co-op stores on Saturdays.
Likes to Eat: The eating habits of common commuters are unclear, although they appear to store food in the large bags they carry.
Unique Qualities: Interestingly, there are very few differences in appearance between the male and the female of the species. Indeed the sexes can be difficult to distinguish from afar, although both are visible from great distances due to their brightly coloured plumage (most often yellow or red) and hard-shelled heads.
One of the most notable features of the common commuter is its ability to disguise itself during daytime hours. Its twice-daily change in plumage renders it virtually indistinguishable from commuter automobilius or commuter omnibus until it takes flight.
Distinct Behaviours: The common commuter typically flies in straight lines, rarely veering off its pre-established path.
Status: The status of the common commuter in the Vancouver area is currently a puzzle to researchers, requiring further study of its breeding habits. While overall numbers appear to be rising, population studies have found that 75% of commuter velocitus are male, drawing into question the long term viability of the species. The female population needs to grow significantly to keep the species from extinction.
Remarkably, it has been discovered that commuter automobilius and commuter omnibus are actually able to transmute into commuter velocitus, a process which, it is believed, has the potential to help increase the female population.
Amy, this next bit is a shameless plug; can it be a box or be included somehow? I was going to tag it right on the end of the piece but in the interest of not sounding too local, I decided to leave it separate:
A Lower Mainland-based society dedicated to the support of commuter velocitus has undertaken to facilitate the transmutation process and improve the viability of the species locally through an initiative called a commuter cycling skills program. Learn more at www.vacc.bc.ca/bikeskills.
Low jeans with underwear showing, baseball cap... Can be spotted at Hastings Park skatebowls or riding on Main Street
Field Guide: Road Racer by Luis Bernhardt
Common Name: “Roadie” Scientific Name: “Currus Actuarius” (look in the Latin dictionary)
Can be Seen: Throughout North America, although sightings tend to be sparse in the northern latitudes during the winter months; some migration to warmer climates, particularly Southern California and Arizona. Species is centered primarily in Western Europe, with rather sparse sightings in Southern and Eastern Asia. Females of the species are extremely rare in the Middle East.
Likes to Hang Out: Frequents European coffee bars, Italian restaurants, and cheap smorgasbords, but can usually be found in large flocks on weekends among deserted rural roads, especially in extremely hilly areas, or in empty industrial parks on weekday evenings.
Likes to Eat: Diets vary, but species exhibits propensity to consume vast quantities of their particular staples, whether vegetarian or carnivorous. If hoping to feed this particular species, it is best to plan on serving the largest size and then tripling it. Unlike its distant relative, the Touring Cyclist (which see), the Road Racer does not get fat consuming its rather ample diet, at least until he or she retires and metamorphoses into either a Touring Cyclist or a Couch Potato (which see).
Unique Qualities: Various subspecies exist. Subspecies Category 4 and 5 can usually be identified by black greasemarks on the inside of the right leg. This is usually combined with a propensity to smash headlong into the rest of the flock, particularly at speed. The highest categories, the strongest and fastest of the species, can be identified by their conspicuously cleaner appearance, prominent display of corporate advertising, and absence of hair on the legs.
Distinct Behaviours: From a speed and style perspective, road racers are at the top of the food chain. Relaxed, smooth, fluid, even at high speeds, their high rate of speed is extremely deceptive. A category 1 or 2 of the species usually looks so relaxed that street racers are often tempted to challenge them. This is a big mistake, as the street racers almost always end up with their ass on a platter, especially if the road goes uphill. Typical climbing speed up Mt. Seymour, for example, is normally under 40 minutes. Road racers need to be approached very cautiously. Offers of food are recommended. Just like the scene in American Grafitti, where greaser Joe says to Curt, “the dream of every red-blooded American boy is to become a Pharoah,” the dream of every two-bit street racer is become a real Road Racer.
Status: Population growth appeared to be on the upswing between 1999 and 2005 due to successful summertime species displays in France, but revelations of recondite use of illicit performance-enhancing drugs at the highest levels during the past year appear to have dampened species expansion.
Field Guide to Recumbent Riders Scientific name – Mobilius Reclinus By Ron Richings
Usually seen smiling since their hands and butts don’t hurt, although recumbutt can strike without warning.
Distinguishing characteristics – Odd sunburn patterns, particularly on the knees. Particularly virile, since the blood flow to important organs and appendages hasn’t been reduced, unlike riders on those funny upright bikes.
Mostly male, beards not mandatory but preferred. Most often in 40s or older. Younger riders usually don’t have the money or the common sense to understand that these bikes are the future, despite the catcalls from upright cyclists. ‘Laid back’ personalities. Mirrors, yes whether helmet or multiples on handlebars.
Can be seen occasionally on most bike routes, but particularly where the route is flat, eg False Creek. Recumbent riders frequently have an aversion to hills, unless they go down, of course.
Trike riders – a bit unbalanced – a minority of a minority. Marketing opportunity – a remote control holder so they can stay on their trike rather than getting up and into a reclining chair.
Religious icon – St. Thomas Reclinus, the patron saint for people who do things lying down.
Transit wish – Translink will install racks on buses that hold a seven foot long recumbent.
WEEKEND RECREATION RIDERS
Weekend Recreation Riders
The Weekend Recreation Rider can usually be found along Vancouver’sthe Seawalls, Seawalls running multi-use pathways which surround the city from Kitsilano Beach to Stanley Park. between Science World to either Stanley Park, or to Kitsilano Beach. The best time to spot such riders is between April and October.
A subspecies known as "Tourist" was also often found within Stanley Park until recently. Storm damage to that habitat has us worried that these visitors may not return this year.
Despite the fact that the Seawalls are built at sea level, and thus have no elevation anywhere, these riders use mountain bikes, of widely varying quality. Some are happy with no-name generic bikes from big box stores, others ride Norcos and Giants, and some Kuwaharas and Nishikis have been spotted. Occasional, but rare, Rocky sightings have also been reported. These bikes are usually quite shiny, and show no dust or dirt whatsoever.
Their bikes are usually unadorned: most have no fenders, and few have lights or racks. Most riders are helmeted but few carry water, and very few carry locks.
Spring plumage is casual and sporty - mainly MEC - although once summer arrives and their numbers grow more numerous, they usually moult into Lululemon and/or spandex shorts.
They are amiable and gregarious, and can usually be found congregating at Starbucks, or at Stanley Park hot dog stands with their young.
Their primary characteristic is disposable income. This gives us confidence that their population is robust and will continue to thrive.