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Mr. Oldman Sketch 3

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This is Mr. Oldman Sketch #3 from Season 1 of The Amanda Show.

Transcript

  • (Redhead sits on the bench, then picks up the phone and starts dialing)
  • (Mr. Oldman's phone rings)
  • Mr. Oldman: I tell ya, I don't like children! (picks up the phone and answers) Hello?
  • Redhead: Yes, this is the Lumina Lumina Farm Company.
  • Mr. Oldman: Well, hello, Lumina Lumina Farm Company. Why have you called me?
  • Redhead: Uh, what time do you want your uh, zebras delivered?
  • Mr. Oldman: Zebras? But I didn't order any zebras.
  • Redhead: Uh, they're black and white, sir.
  • Mr. Oldman: But I know their color scheme, but I don't want any. Uh, who do you wanna speak to?
  • Redhead: Uh, what color is the hair on your foot?
  • Mr. Oldman: Well, I believe my foot hair is a lovely brownish color. But what happened to our discussion of the zebras?
  • Redhead: Quick, lick the phone!
  • Mr. Oldman: Uh, pardon?
  • Redhead: Lick the phone! Hurry!
  • Mr. Oldman: Uh, all right. (starts licking the phone) There, I've licked it. But why did I do it?
  • Redhead: How did it taste, sir?
  • Mr. Oldman: Well, it tasted phone-flavored. But who do you wanna talk to?!
  • Redhead: Thank you.
  • Mr. Oldman: Thank me? But I've done nothing thankworthy. You have the wrong number.
  • Redhead: May I take your order, sir?
  • Mr. Oldman: Order?! You *have* the wrong number!
  • Redhead: Would you like some more spaghetti?
  • Mr. Oldman: Spaghetti?! Uh, I can't digest the noodle. You have the wrong number.
  • Redhead: Please count to 10,000.
  • Mr. Oldman: Ten thou--? I'm not gonna count to ten thou-- (Redhead makes funny faces) 1, 2, 3... You have the wrong number. 4, 5... The number you dialed is wrong! 6, 7. My dog hates me. 8, 9. I'm afraid of my bathtub. 10, 11. You have the wrong number!

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