This is Mr. Oldman Sketch #5 from Season 2 of The Amanda Show.


  • (Redhead sits on the couch, then picks up the phone and start dialing)
  • (Mr. Oldman's phone rings)
  • Mr. Oldman: All children should be arrested for childrenosity! (picks up the phone, but accidentally hits himself, eventually catches it and answers) Hello?
  • Redhead: Hi, who's calling?
  • Mr. Oldman: You are. Hello?
  • Redhead: Yes, this is your doctor.
  • Mr. Oldman: Doctor?
  • Redhead: Yes, Dr. Faminoomina.
  • Mr. Oldman: But I don't have any Dr. Faminoopa-noopina-de-boo.
  • Redhead: I have the result of your Clam Test.
  • Mr. Oldman: Clam Test? I don't recall being tested for the clams.
  • Redhead: Oh, you have a bad case of the clams, sir.
  • Mr. Oldman: No, you have the wrong...! What's wrong with my clams?
  • Redhead: Oh, they're infected, sir.
  • Mr. Oldman: My clams are infected?!
  • Redhead: There's only one way to cure your clams.
  • Mr. Oldman: Well, tell me. What do I have to do?
  • Redhead: Tickle yourself!
  • Mr. Oldman: But I don't wanna tick-- (starts tickling himself while laughs)
  • Redhead: Quick, tickle yourself.
  • Mr. Oldman: (still tickling) I'm doing it! (continues tickling) All right, I'm done tickling myself. Are my clams gone?
  • Redhead: Not yet. Now you have to say Whew! in a very high voice.
  • Mr. Oldman: But I don't wanna say... Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
  • Redhead: Do it.
  • Mr. Oldman: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! There, am I done with the whooing? Hello? Hello? (Redhead makes funny faces) Are you there, Dr. Famininopa-nopa-nopa? (Redhead shrugs)

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