Fandom

Scratchpad

Mr. Oldman Sketch 8

215,741pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Discuss this page0 Share

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

This is Mr. Oldman Sketch #8 from Season 2 of The Amanda Show.

Transcript

  • (Redhead sits on the couch, then picks up the phone and starts dialing)
  • (Mr. Oldman's phone rings)
  • Mr. Oldman: The earth minus children equal happier times. (picks up the phone, then answers and inhales) Hello?!
  • Redhead: Thank you for calling. Your credit card will now be charged.
  • Mr. Oldman: My credit card? But I didn't buy anything. *You* called *me!*
  • Redhead: That'll be $40.00, sir.
  • Mr. Oldman: Forty dollars?! For what?
  • Redhead: For English, press 1. For Japanese, press 2.
  • Mr. Oldman: But I don't speak the Japanese.
  • Redhead: Then press 1!
  • Mr. Oldman: Ohh, I don't wanna press any... all right. (presses the #2 button) There, I pressed the 1 button. #1. Do I do now?
  • Redhead: Oh-
  • Mr. Oldman: Where's the English?
  • Redhead: お誕生日おめでとう。(Otanjōbiomedetō) - (Translation: Happy Birthday.)
  • Mr. Oldman: I tell ya, I don't understand the sounds of Japan! You have the wrong number!
  • Redhead: そのものたけまき。 (sonomonotakemaki) - (Translation: That thing takemaki?)
  • Mr. Oldman: Ohh. (grunts and presses the other buttons) I pressed more buttons. Now will you *please* speak of the English?
  • Redhead: For potato salad, press your nose and say Beep.
  • Mr. Oldman: But... well, I do enjoy the potato salad. (he looks left, then right and touches his nose) Beep! There, I pressed my nose and beeped at ya! Where's my potato salad?
  • Redhead: It's a type of salad, sir. With potatoes.
  • Mr. Oldman: I *know* what potato salad is. I just don't have any fortune to sume.
  • Redhead: What color is the inside of your head?
  • Mr. Oldman: I DON'T KNOW! Uh, It's dark inside my head. Hello?
  • Redhead: Your credit card has been charged another $300.00.
  • Mr. Oldman: But I don't *have* $300.00. I buy cheese and large blocks.
  • Redhead: Goodnight.
  • Mr. Oldman: Goodnight? But I'm scared to go to sleep alone. (Redhead makes funny faces) Hello? You have the wrong number. Hello? Ahh, the number you dialed's inaccurate. Hello? What happened to Hall & Oates?!

Also on Fandom

Random wikia