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Mr. Oldman Sketch 9

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This is Mr. Oldman Sketch #9 from Season 3 of The Amanda Show.

Transcript

  • (Redhead sits on the couch, then picks up the phone and starts dialing)
  • (Mr. Oldman's phone rings)
  • Mr. Oldman: Uh, children are like worse than talk too much! (picks up the phone and answers) Hello?
  • Redhead: Yeah, this is uh, Moofin Doofin Wrecking Company.
  • Mr. Oldman: Well, hello, Moofina Doofina Wrecking Companyee.
  • Redhead: Uh, what time do you want us to tear down your house?
  • Mr. Oldman: Tear down my house?
  • Redhead: Okay, we'll tear down your house at 4:00.
  • Mr. Oldman: But wait, it's 4:00 now!
  • Redhead: Uh-oh. Then you better duck.
  • Mr. Oldman: I... no! (gets down, then stands back up again) I duckened, but my house is still astandin'.
  • Redhead: Then scream!
  • Mr. Oldman: No, I don't wanna... Ohh, ahhhhhh! (wiggles his body) Did I scream nice?
  • Redhead: Yes, sir, Mr. Wiggleston.
  • Mr. Oldman: Woah, pony. I'm no Mr. Wigglest-ton-st-ston-st-ston. My name is Mr. Oldman. I think you have the wrong number.
  • Redhead: Do you have any last words, sir?
  • Mr. Oldman: Why? Am I doomed?
  • Redhead: Take off your shoe!
  • Mr. Oldman: But I don't wanna take off my sh-- all right. (takes his slipper off) My shoe is off. Now what?
  • Redhead: Put your shoe in your pants, sir.
  • Mr. Oldman: But that seems inappropriate.
  • Redhead: Put it!
  • Mr. Oldman: All right! (struggles to put his slipper down in his pants) It fits.
  • Redhead: Are you pretty, sir?
  • Mr. Oldman: Well, uh, people do tell me I have a certain girlish charm, but... you have the wrong number! (Redhead makes funny faces) There's a shoe in my pants! Hello? Ya have the wrong number!

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