- Kermit the Frog as Chuck E. Cheese
- Miss Piggy as Helen Henny
- The Swedish Chef as Pasqually
- Fozzie Bear as Jasper T. Jowls
- Rowlf the Dog as Mr. Munch
Kermit the Frog: Now a great way
to learn all those ABC's
is to match up every letter
with something that you see.
If the match is kinda funny,
then the letters are unforgettable.
So now let's look around the Muppet Theatre
and do the alphabetical.
A is for Animal.
B, Beaker and Bunsen.
C, Crazy Harry, the wild one.
D, Dr. Teeth.
E, Eagle who is Sam.
F, Floyd Pepper.
G, The Great Gonzo.
Miss Piggy: We love the ABC's.
It's almost unbelievable
because if you kids start reading,
then everything is achievable.
I even got a valentine
from somebody poetical.
Now you know why I am glad
to do it alphabetical.
I is for Inchworm.
J, Our gal pal, Janice.
L, Lew Zealand.
M is for Marvin Suggs.
N, Nigel the Conductor.
O, Otto the Automatic Entertainer.
P, Pepe the King Prawn.
The Swedish Chef: Vhee-a I'm in zee-a keetchee-a, (When I'm in the kitchen,)
und I'm mekeeng sumezeeng ideeble-a, (and I'm making something edible,)
Zeere-a's a geme-a I leeke-a tu pley, (There's a game I like to play,)
becuose-a it is incredeeble-a! (because it is incredible!)
I leeke-a tu knuo zee-a letters, (I like to know the letters,)
iech meet und cheese-a und fegeteble-a. (each meat and cheese and vegetable.)
Und zee-a, I'm reelly cuokeeng (And then, I'm really cooking)
vhee-a I du zee-a ilphebeticel! Bork Bork Bork! (when I do the alphabetical!)
Q, Quoungu (Q, Quongo)
R is fur Rizzu zee-a Ret (R is for Rizzo the Rat)
S stuonds fur Scuoter (S stands for Scooter)
T, Thug zeet is beeg und bluoe-a (T, Thog that is big and blue)
U, Uncle-a Deedly (U, Uncle Deadly)
F, Fendeffece-a zee-a mecheene-a (V, Vendaface the machine)
V, Velter (W, Walter)
X, X is in zee-a Ixtremes! Bork Bork Bork! (X, X as in the Extremes)
Fozzie Bear: Now hold up, everybody
because we haven't had a turn
and we're almost out of letters
for the boys and girls to learn.
Rowlf the Dog: If we couldn't play
that will surely be regrettable!
So, Fozzie, buddy, take a letter
and do the alphabetical!
Fozzie Bear: Y, yes, Yolanda the Rat is at the end of this tune.
Fozzie Bear and Rowlf the Dog: Z, Zoot hopes he'll see you soon again real soon!