• Fozzie Bear as Telly Monster
  • David Hoggselhoff as Mike
  • Pops as Uncle Wally
  • Mildred Huxtetter as Barbra the Barber


Pops: But, Fozzie, think of what will happen if you don't get your fur cut. It will keep growing and growing until it grows down over your eyes and you won't be able to see.

Fozzie Bear: Yeah, I know, I know. I know I have to get my fur cut. It's just that...

David Hoggselhoff: Thanks for coming out. Maybe it will help if you talk to him. This is Fozzie. Fozzie, this is Mildred.

Mildred Huxtetter: Well, hello, Fozzie. I understand you're a little nervous about getting your fur cut. Well, look, there's really nothing to worry about. You can trust me.

Fozzie Bear: I can?

Mildred Huxtetter: (singing) Oh, I'm Mildred Huxtetter the Barber.
In case you should harbor,
misgivings I begged you
don't fret.
I'll trim you so neatly
and give you so sweetly
the best fur cut you'll ever get.
With scissors and comb,
I'll look after your dome.
I'll make sure that
your fur-do is neat.
And when I'm through,
gee, I guaranteed
you'll be the handsomest guy
on the street.
Cool cut,
I can give you a cool cut.
Or some kind of a new cut
It's all up to you.
Frizz look.
Should I give him the frizz look?
No, that's not really his look.
Tell me what I should do!
There's no need to worry.
There's no need to hurry.
Sit back and relax
while you're here.
And if you could wait
while I'll make you look great.
I'll show you
there's nothing to fear.
(spoken) Now, Fozzie, what will it be? How would you like me to cut your fur?

Fozzie Bear: I, I...No, no, I can't do it! I can't let you cut my fur!

Mildred Huxtetter: But, Fozzie, come back! What did I say?

Pops: He was very upset.

David Hoggselhoff: I guess I didn't realize how much he didn't wanna get his fur cut.

Mildred Huxtetter: Well, why are we all standing here? Let's go find him!

David Hoggselhoff: Yeah.

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