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Cast

  • Sam the Eagle as Bert
  • Rowlf the Dog as Ernie
  • Beard as David
  • Floyd Pepper as Gordon
  • Link Hogthrob as Bob
  • Wanda as Maria
  • Janice as Susan
  • Mary Louise (little girl) as Prairie Dawn
  • Wayne as Luis
  • Pops as Mr. Hooper
  • Kermit the Frog as Big Bird
  • Dr. Teeth as Count von Count
  • Gonzo as Grover
  • Animal as Cookie Monster
  • Sweetums as Herry Monster

Lyrics

Dr. Teeth: Ah! Greetings. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Seven standing people, one green frog and one, one shivering eagle in a bathtub.

Sam the Eagle: Yeah, you noticed. Hey, Rowlf, would you hand a towel?

Rowlf the Dog: What's that, Sam?

Dr. Teeth: Ah! One bathroom tile! Two! Two bathroom tiles! Three! Three bathroom tiles! Four...

Beard: Okay, somebody has gotta stop him.

Wanda: Okay, say, Dr. Teeth. How about a song, huh?

Dr. Teeth: One. One song.

Link Hogthrob: Uh, no, no, Dr. Teeth. Sing us a song, please.

Dr. Teeth: What? Oh! You want me to sing you a song?

Everyone: Right!

Dr. Teeth: Ah, well, here's a snappy little number. Get it?
One bat hanging in the steeple
One bat flies in through the door
That makes two bats in my belfry
WONDERFUL!
(spoken) But wait, there's more ...

Two bats hanging in the steeple
One bat flies in through the door
That makes three bats in my belfry
WONDERFUL!
(spoken) But wait, there's more ...

Three bats hanging in the steeple
One bat flies in through the door
That makes four bats in my belfry
WONDERFUL!
(spoken) But wait, there's more ...


(Everybody arguing)

Beard: (whispers) Hey, everybody. Let's put him in the shower.

Dr. Teeth: Four bats hanging in the steeple
One bat flies in through the door
That makes five bats in my belfry
WONDERFUL!


(Everybody cheering)

Link Hogthrob: Hey, that takes care of Dr. Teeth.

Floyd Pepper: Okay, now what's next for the sing-along?

Sam the Eagle: Hey, Rowlf, what's that?

Rowlf the Dog: Well, it sounded like a motorcycle, Sam.

Sam the Eagle: It sounds like it's in the apartment.

Wanda: Quick, open the door!

Link Hogthrob: I've got it!

Sweetums: Hey!

Gonzo: Hello, everybody!

Animal: Hi, Sam.

Link Hogthrob: Sweetums! Gonzo!

Sam the Eagle: Hey, Sweetums, Sweetums, Sweetums, how did you get in the bathroom with your motorcycle?

Sweetums: Simple. I made a left in the bedroom and came straight down the hall.

Sam the Eagle: Oh, for crying out...

Rowlf the Dog: Hey, park it by the hamper, Sweetums.

(Everybody complaining)

Sam the Eagle: Uh, huh. I suppose you think that's funny, Sweetums. Now look at those tire marks on the bath mat. Rowlf, oh yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh. Rowlf, just get me a towel, will you, please? Come on.

Rowlf the Dog: I can't, Sam. I can't open the closet over here. There's too many people.

Gonzo: Uh, say, Sweetums, help me get my banjo off the side door, please?

Sweetums: Oh, sure, Gonzo.

Gonzo: It's the short one.

Sweetums: It's right here under my pliers. It's stuck.

Animal: Oh, say. Can you find my bass drum, too?

Sweetums: Yeah, yeah. I'll get it. I'll get it.

Gonzo: Oh, thank you for the banjo.

Sweetums: Okay, I've got my gong.

Animal: Me got drum.

Sweetums: Okay. We've got a song for the sing-along.

Gonzo: Okay, hit it, boys.

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