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Cast

  • Floyd Pepper as Hiram
  • Beard as Burt
  • Sam the Eagle as Oscar the Grouch
  • Wayne as Luis
  • Scooter as Chris
  • Angelo as Alan
  • Prairie Dog as Hamster
  • Fozzie Bear as Baby Bear
  • Janice as Zoe
  • Vicki as Leela
  • P.J. as Green Anything Muppet boy
  • Cynthia Rose as Pink AM Monster Girl

Lyrics

Sam the Eagle: Not a song. No! No!

Floyd Pepper: Ha. Dirt's got food for plants to eat that you don't need to bake or broil.

Beard: Yeah, dirt's that full of nutrients can also be called soil.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Beard: It's where you grow your plants.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Floyd Pepper: Hey, you got some on your pants.

Sam the Eagle: Can you stop singing about dirt?

Beard: Sure.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: Because now we're gonna rap about dirt.

Beard: (beat boxing)

Floyd Pepper: It could be real mushy.
It could be real firm.


Beard: (beat boxing) Yeah, take them to your home for a gerbil or a worm.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Beard: It makes a real nice house.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Floyd Pepper: Hey, you got some on your blouse. Huh.

Sam the Eagle: Not a key change! (groaning)

Floyd Pepper: You can find things in dirt if you dig a nice dirt hole.

Beard: And here's a great dirt fact. Dirt's "tierra" in Espanol.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Beard: Stick your fingers in and mush.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Floyd Pepper: Hey, you got some on your tush.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: Dirt.

Sam the Eagle: That's it! Dirtballs is out of business!

Beard: Oh, no. Well, what are we going to do now?

Floyd Pepper: (singing) Musical theater.

Floyd Pepper and Beard: (singing) Give my regards to Broadway.
Remember me to Herald Square.

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