- Fozzie Bear as Basil
- Rizzo the Rat as Elmo
- Scooter as Tailor
- Lips as Trumpeter
- Statler and Waldorf as Two-Headed Monster
- Penguins as Honkers
- Whatnots as Anything Muppets
- Super Sheep, Norman and Baab the Sheep as Sheep
- Gaffer and Catgut as Chip and Dip
- Frackles as AM Monsters
- The Big Bad Wolf (from Muppet Classic Theater) as The Wolf
- Alfonso D'Bruzzo, Eric the Parrot and The Robin as Birds
- Muppy as Dog
- Billy the Bear as Bear
- Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork and Annie Sue Pig as Pigs
- Paul Revere as Fred the Wonder Horse
- Dorothy Bovine as Cow
- The Turtle (from Billy Bunny's Animal Songs) as Turtle
Rizzo the Rat: Wait, wait. Yoo-hoo. Pardon me. Yoo-hoo. Yoo-hoo. Excuse me. Will everybody be quiet? King Rizzo hears a noise.
Kai-Lee: Well, thank goodness, it's only a little shepherd.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, shepherd not very scary. Hey, hey, hey. Shepherd even look brave.
Fozzie Bear: Wait. But excuse me, but where are we and who are you?
Rizzo the Rat: Ahem. We are the creatures of the forest.
Scooter: Yeah, and are we ever glad to see you.
Fozzie Bear: You are?
Lew Zealand: Strange things have been happening.
Kai-Lee: Yes, someone keeps playing tricks on us.
Fozzie Bear: Tricks? What kind of tricks?
Kai-Lee: Hey, Rizzo. You just tell him what happened.
Rizzo the Rat: Okay. Ahem.
Oh, Rizzo's my name and Rizzo the King
and the kingdom should be a magnificent thing
Rizzo has splendid gown and a mace
I'll fill it with elegance, style and grace
But also today, Rizzo wearing a frown
as King Rizzo slept,
Last night someone crept
into Rizzo's chambers and sat on the crown.
Everyone: As King Rizzo left, last night someone crept, into Rizzo's chambers and sat on the crown.
Scooter: Good day.
I'm the tailor
and I make the clothes.
And not long ago,
I've got some trousers arose.
Oh, I've been making trousers
for all the townsfolk.
When somebody sew up the legs for a joke.
But it isn't funny.
It makes me see red.
For to my dismay,
they just fit one way.
And how would you like to wear pants on your head?
Everyone: For to his dismay, they just fit one way, and how would you like to wear pants on your head?
Lips: Oh, I'm Lips the trumpeter.
Music's my thing.
I'll blow this and people make way for the king.
It's a very good job if you're musically fit being King Rizzo's accompaniment.
But now what I do makes me sad and forlorn because just yesterday when I was away.
Somebody did something bad to my horn.
Everyone: Because just yesterday when he was away, somebody did something bad to his horn.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, there used to be laughter and happiness here.
But now it's the kingdom, our specialties' fears.
It's just that we never know what to expect.
Gaffer and Catgut: If you call us scaredy cats, you'll be correct.
Rizzo the Rat: If you think we like this, you're as wrong as can be,
Things very tough,
And if that's not enough,
This morning, this paper was pinned to that tree.
Everyone: Things very tough, and if that's not enough, this morning, this paper was pinned to that tree.
Kai-Lee: Some helpful tips for planning your move.
Scooter: And on top of all this, our bravest knight, Sir Baskerville, is nowhere to be found.
Fozzie Bear: But that isn't very nice of someone to play tricks on you. What are you going to do?
Rizzo the Rat: Well, Hilda the Riddler can you answer you any question. Hilda can tell us who's playing tricks. Oh, someone has to go to the Fountain of Riddles.
Fozzie Bear: But who?
Rizzo the Rat: Oh yeah. That's right.
Fozzie Bear: Oh, now just a minute. I'm just a good-hearted little shepherd, not a brave-hearted little shepherd. Sorry.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, no. Here we go again.
Scooter: Hey. I know. I can give you a disguise. Yes. I can disguise you as a wandering minstrel, a musician. Yeah, here. There. Now that will keep you safe.
Fozzie Bear: But why would that keep me safe?
Scooter: Well, the only other outfit I have is for a rat catcher.
Fozzie Bear: Oh, well, I sure don't wanna be a rat catcher.
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, well, good luck then.
Everyone: Goodbye, good luck, goodbye. Goodbye.
Rizzo the Rat: Good luck finding the Fountain of Riddles.