• Kermit the Frog as Big Bird
  • P.J. as Rescue Boy
  • Kai-Lee as Rescue Girl
  • Constantine as Sam Sleaze
  • Foozie Bear as Sid Sleaze
  • Maxine as Telephone Operator


Kermit the Frog: I'm a bluebird that's been dreaming
Of a rainbow I can follow
To that old familiar place I long to see

Friendly faces, a smile to greet me
Or just a simple "Hello, how are you?"
Oh, without them, I'm so blue
There's only one thing that will do
To make this heartache end
To be back home again

P.J.: He sure looks sad.

Kai-Lee: He sure does.

Kermit the Frog: I'll never lose my dreams
Even though this time it seems
Like I'm such a long way
From any rainbows that might keep my dreams from fading
Oh, no wonder I'm so blue

(Foozie Bear, working spotlight, cries loudly)

Kermit the Frog: There's only one thing that will do
To make this heartache end
To be back home again
To be back home again

Constantine: (counting money backstage while he sings) I'm a rich man, getting richer
Here's my money; let me count it
I'm so happy... (starts whistling)

(P.J. and Kai-Lee from audience sneak in behind him and go to sleeping Kermit the Frog's cage.)

Kai-Lee: Are you real?

(A tear trickles from Kermit the Frog's left eye)

P.J.: He must be real; he's crying. (to Kermit the Frog) What's the matter?

Kermit the Frog: (wakes up and sees kids): Oh, oh, uh, I'm in big trouble, see? Uh, could you do me a favor? (P.J. and Kai-Lee nod) Uh, I, I can't get out of here, and I want to! So, could you call Mister Looper's Store on Sesame Street and tell somebody where I am?

Constantine: (spoken, noticing P.J. and Kai-Lee) Hey, kids, get away from the talent! Go on, get! Scram! (barks like a dog as kids run off. Laughs.)
(singing) I'm a rich man, getting richer!

(Kai-Lee is on pay phone with P.J. lifting her. Phone rings once, and Maxine answers.)

Maxine (spoken) Operator. May I help you?

Kai-Lee: (spoken) Hello, operator, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

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