- Rizzo the Rat as Elmo
- Waldorf as Ernie
- Statler as Bert
- Dr. Teeth as Count von Count
- Fozzie Bear as Baby Bear
- Seymour as Horatio the Elephant
- P.J. as Anything Muppet boy
- Mary Louise (old woman) as Anything Muppet mother
- Camilla as Chicken
- Sundance as Chicago the Lion
- Bull as Cow
- Shepherd as Anything Muppet farmer
- Paul Revere as Horse
- Goat (from The Muppet Show) as Goat
- Deer as Lightning
- Bobo the Bear as Papa Bear
- Janice as Susan
- Spamela Hamderson as Gina
- Animal, Zoot and Lips as AM Monsters
- Theresa as Carmen Miranda Anything Muppet
(Everyone coughing and sneezing)
Camilla: Oh, I got a boo-boo on my beak.
Paul Revere: Oh yeah? Well, I'm a horse. Horse hoo.
P.J.: I've got a running nose.
Mary Louise: He's got boo-boos on his toes.
Waldorf: And every time he takes a breath, he sneezes.
Camilla: I've got slipped on with my caw.
Sundance: I tripped and hurt my paw.
Everyone: Doctor, hurry up and see us please.
(Everyone coughing and sneezing in a conga line)
Seymour: My trunk is all stuffed up.
Goat: This morning, I threw up.
Dr. Teeth: I just coughed for the hundredth time today.
Deer: My antler's really sore. I can't take it anymore.
Everyone: Doctor, you've got to see us right away.
Dr. Teeth: (coughing) That's 101 coughs. Ah, ah, ah.
(Everyone dancing around while coughing and sneezing)
Paul Revere: I've got one upset tummy and my hoof is feeling crummy.
Waldorf: And this flobbing in his forehead is getting stronger. Oh, dear.
Rizzo the Rat: Got an ache in Rizzo's ear and that's why Rizzo's here.
Statler, Waldorf and Paul Revere: Doctor, please, we can't
wait any longer.
Janice: Statler, you're next.
Fozzie Bear: I've got a scratchy throat.
Shepherd: And this fever has got my goat.
Bull: And the hornaches made me one unhappy bull.
Seymour: I feel out of sorts and drowsy.
Fozzie Bear, Shepherd, Bull and Seymour: We're sick of being lousy,
Doctor, please, we've gotta see you now.
Janice: Fozzie Bear, you're next.
Shepherd, Bull and Seymour: Doctor, please, we want to get well now.
Everyone: Doctor, please, we want to get well now.
Janice: Rizzo, you're next.