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Cast

  • Rizzo the Rat as Elmo
  • Waldorf as Ernie
  • Statler as Bert
  • Dr. Teeth as Count von Count
  • Fozzie Bear as Baby Bear
  • Seymour as Horatio the Elephant
  • P.J. as Anything Muppet boy
  • Mary Louise (old woman) as Anything Muppet mother
  • Camilla as Chicken
  • Sundance as Chicago the Lion
  • Bull as Cow
  • Shepherd as Anything Muppet farmer
  • Paul Revere as Horse
  • Goat (from The Muppet Show) as Goat
  • Deer as Lightning
  • Bobo the Bear as Papa Bear
  • Janice as Susan
  • Spamela Hamderson as Gina
  • Animal, Zoot and Lips as AM Monsters
  • Theresa as Carmen Miranda Anything Muppet

Lyrics

(Everyone coughing and sneezing)

Camilla: Oh, I got a boo-boo on my beak.

Paul Revere: Oh yeah? Well, I'm a horse. Horse hoo.

P.J.: I've got a running nose.

Mary Louise: He's got boo-boos on his toes.

Waldorf: And every time he takes a breath, he sneezes.

(Statler sneezing)

Camilla: I've got slipped on with my caw.

Sundance: I tripped and hurt my paw.

Everyone: Doctor, hurry up and see us please.

(Everyone coughing and sneezing in a conga line)

Seymour: My trunk is all stuffed up.

Goat: This morning, I threw up.

Dr. Teeth: I just coughed for the hundredth time today.

Deer: My antler's really sore. I can't take it anymore.

Everyone: Doctor, you've got to see us right away.

Dr. Teeth: (coughing) That's 101 coughs. Ah, ah, ah.

(Everyone dancing around while coughing and sneezing)

Paul Revere: I've got one upset tummy and my hoof is feeling crummy.

Waldorf: And this flobbing in his forehead is getting stronger. Oh, dear.

Rizzo the Rat: Got an ache in Rizzo's ear and that's why Rizzo's here.

Statler, Waldorf and Paul Revere: Doctor, please, we can't
wait any longer.

Janice: Statler, you're next.

(Statler sneezing)

Fozzie Bear: I've got a scratchy throat.

Shepherd: And this fever has got my goat.

Bull: And the hornaches made me one unhappy bull.

Seymour: I feel out of sorts and drowsy.

Fozzie Bear, Shepherd, Bull and Seymour: We're sick of being lousy,
Doctor, please, we've gotta see you now.

Janice: Fozzie Bear, you're next.

Shepherd, Bull and Seymour: Doctor, please, we want to get well now.

Everyone: Doctor, please, we want to get well now.

Janice: Rizzo, you're next.

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