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Cast

  • Kermit the Frog as Homer Simpson
  • Robin the Frog as Bart Simpson
  • Gonzo as Lenny Leonard
  • Sweetums as Moe Szyslak
  • Rizzo the Rat as Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
  • Dr. Teeth as Chief Clancy Wiggum
  • Fozzie Bear as Carl Carlson
  • Scooter as Ned Flanders
  • Animal as Sideshow Mel
  • Zoot as Krusty the Clown
  • Sam the Eagle as Mr. Burns
  • Link Hogthrob as Joe Quimby
  • Beauregard as Principal Skinner
  • George the Janitor as Superitendent Chalmers
  • Beautiful Day Monster as Barney
  • Waldorf as Jasper
  • Dr. Julius Strangepork as Hans Moleman
  • Clueless Morgan as Kearney Zzywicz
  • Mad Monty as Jimbo Jones
  • Polly Lobster as Dolph Starbeam
  • Wayne as Reverend Lovejoy
  • Fleet Scribbler as Lionel Hutz
  • Bubba the Rat as Kirk Van Houten
  • Statler as Grandpa Abe
  • Rowlf the Dog as Dr. Julius Hibbert
  • Trumpet Girl as Edna Krabappel
  • Lew Zealand as The Sea Captain
  • Clifford as Comic Book Guy
  • Spamela Hamderson as Martha Quimby
  • Mama Fiama as Belle
  • Denise the Pig, Hilda, Zelda Rose and Miss Mousey as Dancing Girls
  • Pepe the King Prawn as Bumblebee Man
  • Angus McGonagle as Groundskeeper Willie

Lyrics

Prologue:

Kermit the Frog:
My friends, stop!!


Dr. Julius Strangepork: (holding a bow with a flaming arrow)
Please hurry.


Kermit the Frog:
Sure, we could tear this house down...


(everyone resumes demolition of the building)

NO!! MY FRIENDS, STOP!!!! Lemme finish. We could tear it down, but we'd be tearing down a part of ourselves.

The Song:

You could close down Sweetums',
Or the Kwik-E-Mart,
And nobody would care,
But the heart and soul
Of Springfield's in
Our Maison Derriere


(music starts)

Mama Fiama:
We're the sauce on your steak,
We're the cheese in your cake,
We put the "Spring" in Springfield


Denise the Pig:
We're the lace on the nightgown,


Hilda:
The point after touchdown,


Mama Fiama, Denise the Pig, Hilda, Zelda Rose and Miss Mousey:
Yes, we put the "Spring" in Springfield

Mama Fiama:
We're that little extra spice
That makes existence extra nice,
A giddy little thrill
At a reasonable price


Wayne:
Our only major quarrel's
With your total lack of morals


Zelda Rose:
Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad,


Miss Mousey:
They seem to entertain your dad


Mama Fiama, Denise the Pig, Hilda, Zelda Rose and Miss Mousey:
The gin in your martini,
The clams on your linguine,
Yes we keep the

(Mama Fiama flicks Pepe the King Prawn's antenna)
In Springfield

Dr. Teeth, Zoot, and Beauregard:
We remember our first visit,

Link Hogthrob:
The service was exquisite


Spamela Hamderson:
(talking) Why Link, I had no idea!


Link Hogthrob:
(talking) Come on now, you were working here!


Statler and Waldorf:
Without it we'd have had no fun
Since March of 1961


Robin the Frog:
To shut it down now would be twisted,


Mad Monty, Polly Lobster, and Clueless Morgan:
We just heard this place existed

Denise the Pig, Hilda, Zelda Rose and Miss Mousey:
We're the highlights in your hairdo,

Rizzo the Rat:
The extra arms on Vishnu,


Denise the Pig, Hilda, Zelda Rose and Miss Mousey:
So don't take the

(Beautiful Day Monster opens a Zoot-in-the-box)

Mob:
We won't take the

(Animal blows on his slide-whistle)

Everyone:
Yes, let's keep the

(Sweetums crashes two garbage can lids together)

In Springfield

(Zoot hits his face with a pie, Angus McGonagle accidentally hits Gonzo in the head with a sledgehammer, Dr. Teeth and Clifford bounce their bellies together, Sam the Eagle honks the horn on his antique car, Lew Zealand reels in with his fishing rod in the fountain, and Beautiful Day Monster burps).

Epilogue:

Scooter:
Well, I'm convinced. The house stays!


Wayne:
This house is a very, very, very fine house.

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