- Cuddles (from Happy Tree Friends) as Papa Smurf
- June as Brainy Smurf
- Henry as Reporter Smurf
- Oscar Proud (The Proud Family) as Baker Smurf
- Pip (from Pip Ahoy!) as Vanity Smurf
- Taz as Lazy Smurf
- Mario as Chronic Masturbator Smurf
- Plankton (from SpongeBob Squarepants) as Gargamel
- Itchy Itchiford (from All Dogs Go To Heaven) as Azrael
- Marty (from Madagascar) as Smurf #1
- Cow (from Cow and Chicken) as Smurf #2
- SpongeBob (from SpongeBob Squarepants) as Smurf #3
- Jim and Tim (from Kim Possible) as Police Smurfs
- Skunk (from Skunk Fu!) as Police Chief Smurf
- Moe (from The Simpsons) as Jokey Smurf
- Giggles (from Happy Tree Friends) as Smurfette
June: (Walking up to Oscar Proud's house) Excuse me, one side coming through. Cuddles needs to see me right away! Official business.
June: (Henry takes picture of something in oven and walks away until June comes in) Cuddles, Cuddles! I came here as fast as I could.
Cuddles: June, Oscar Proud has been murdered!
June: B-b-but, how? (Cuddles opens the oven, showing Oscar's murder sighting, and June vomits) Bleeeeeehhhhhrrrgh!
Cuddles: (Holds in vomit, then lets it out) Bleeeeeee-he-HerrrGh! (Lets out a little bit more, then wipes his mouth with a napkin) Uhhgh! I was right on the verge for a while. But then seeing you do it made me...Uhhgh!
(June writes down Cuddles' words)
Cuddles: Someone stuffed Oscar with cream filling until he was ready to burst, then cooked him at 350 degrees. (Henry walked up) This could not be more horrible. (Suddenly, the oven bursts with cream filling, which causes Henry to vomit on Cuddles and June)
Cuddles: I stand corrected.
Marty: What's going on, June?
June: It is my solemn duty to inform you...that Oscar Proud has been killed! (Cartoon characters scream in horror) More importantly, Cuddles has placed ME in charge of the investigation. Cuddles is always right, and Cuddles knows I'm the most educated Smurf, so it's--(Cartoon Characters boot June out of village) Idiot! How do I never see that coming?
June: You're the most likely suspect, Plankton.
Plankton: Preposterous! I wanted to turn cartoon characters into gold, not kill them!
June: I thought you wanted to eat the cartoon characters!
Plankton: Actually, I've never been all that clear on my motivations. At any rate, I just got back from Branson, so man, am I solid.
June: If Plankton didn't do it, who did?
Cow: JUNE! There's been another murder!
Cuddles: (June lifts up Pip's hair dryer with Pip's dead body in it) GYAAAH!
June: (Hyperventilating) The-the comb is in his...OOOOOOOOHHHHH! A-a-a-and the lipstick is...(Falls to the floor) UHHHHGGGGHHH! (She gets up and struggles to keep his eyes closed) I...ugh! Can't look!
June: (She and Cuddles investigate murder files) Wait a minute! Oscar was an idiotic father in life, (Gasps) And look how he died! Pip was a loving puppy boy! Taz was horrifically mutilated in his bunker lounger!
Cuddles: Our killer is mimicking the Seven Deadly Sins! But what sins still remain?
June: The Sin of Lust for one!
Spongebob: CUDDLES! JUNE! MARIO WAS JUST FOUND WITH HIS WANG CHOPPED OFF, AND STUFFED DOWN HIS THROAT!
June: But we still don't have any suspects!
Cuddles: Go get Giggles! Maybe a little massage will help us concentrate.
June: Happy ending?
Cuddles: Happy ending.
June: (Knocks on Giggles' door) Giggles? Hello? (Comes inside, where it is dark) Giggles are you here?
Moe: (Chuckles) June! HI, JUNE! (Laughs)
June: Oh, no! Moe! Your sick sense of humor, your total disregard for cartoon character safety, your Se7en movie trading card collection! YOU'RE the killer!
Moe: I got you a present!
June: What's in the box, Moe, what's in the box?!?
Moe: It's a surprise! (June takes present, and looks inside to find Giggles' decapitated head)
June: NOOOOOOOOO! OH, GIGGLES, NOOOOOOO! (Present explodes)
Moe: (Laughs) SURPRISE!! (Laughs)
June:... What is wrong with you?
Skunk: (Jim and Tim arrest Moe, who laughs hysterically) Nice work, June! Now we just gotta find her body.
Cuddles: (Holding Giggles' headless body with a large acorn with a drawn face on her neck) Just because you're a headless corpse doesn't mean we can't have any fun, Giggles. (He dances with the corpse, then the camera eases off of them, and the window shuts closed)