Squirrel Talk

"Who the fuck is going to pay five dollars for a cup of coffee?"

Episode 6

Foamy goes on a rant about coffee and the comics.

Cast (in order of appearance): Germaine, Foamy


{Germaine sits, drinking coffee.}

Foamy: Hey, how come your didn’t order me anything? How come I don’t have any food here? What’s wrong with you? Hey look at that guy over there! You think he’s dead? He’s just sitting there. Why is he just sitting there? What is he doing? What is he eating? Should I go find out and see if he’s dead? {picks up a menu} How come food is so expensive? Why can’t you just give it away for free? I don’t see why you’ve got to pay like three dollars for a bagel, and like that Starshmucks coffee that’s like five dollars a cup. That’s madness! Who the fuck is going to pay five dollars for a cup of coffee? What are you on drugs? Crack? Maybe it’s crack. I don’t know. Does this place like sell biscotti and stuff like that? Huh? Huh? Huh? You know who I am? I am Foamy! {Thunder and lightning strike} I think in a past life I was a stereo! You know the things with the CDs players, I could have been a Sony. You ever look at a newspaper and then you look at the comic strips and realize the comic strips suck? There are no good comic strips anymore. And the Sunday paper sucks. I can’t stand "Marvin" and "Cathy". "Cathy" is absolutely the worse; she’s got a fucking problem every week, there’s some kind of weird insecurity of hers that she’s always bitching about. Why can’t somebody just shoot her! I mean, Jesus Christ! Do I give a shit if this fat fuck can’t find some fat-free cookies to stuff her fat fucking face with? Who gives a shit? {goes offscreen} Fucking bastards!

{The Ending screen appears}

Foamy: Damn you, Cathy!

Fun Facts

Real World References

  • Crack is a form of cocaine, an illegal, highly addictive stimulant.
  • Sony is an electronics company, most popular for their production of the Playstation.
  • Marvin is a comic strip by Tom Armstrong about the life and times of a baby boy.
  • Cathy is a popular comic strip by Cathy Guisewhite about a woman on her quest through life and battles with food.
  • Jesus Christ is the central figure of the Christian religion.

External Links

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