Naked Yogurt Time

From Scratchpad

Naked Yogurt Time is a scandal involving Paul "CMG" Kuliniewicz and Benji "Hallway" Milanowski who were room mates at the time. The scandal, sometimes referred to as the Yogate Scandal) is often mentioned and is a part of Fool Lore, but the tale behind the scandal is rarely told unless Benji and Paul are present to tell it. Benji often tells the story with many interjections from Paul.

[edit] Transcript of the Story

Paul & Benji: So you see there's this duck.

Benji: It was a promotional item I received from Aflac after talking with them. It's a plush duck that says, "Aflac. Alfac. AFLAC!" when squeezed. Normally I'd squeeze The Duck and then throw it in a room of one my roommates as though it were a grenade. As things often do, this escalated. I'd find the duck placed in different spots in my room after I did the same thing to Paul. Eventually we started getting more and more creative by having the duck dressed as a paratrooper, Jayne from Firefly, and so forth. I put a noose around The Duck's neck, wrote a note that said, "Goodbye cruel world", and hung it in Paul's Closet. Paul found the duck and then came to Benji's closed door and squeezed The Duck to make him sound off. I didn't answer the door right away so Paul left. About a minute late-

Paul: It was at least a minute

Benji: I come walking down to Paul's room wearing nothing but my work out shorts while eating yogurt. Paul was initially going to say

Paul: Looks like you've heard a ghost

Benji: But he was so taken aback by Benji eating yogurt half naked that he said

Paul: Is it naked yogurt time? Now, Benji didn't have anything to say to this

Benji: So I simply walked back to my room. Paul believes that the delay in answering the door was because I had to get shorts on.

Paul: You were!

Benji: I maintain that I simply didn't answer the door because I was enjoying my yogurt.

Paul: I bet you were. Why then were you still eating the yogurt when you came to my door?

Benji: Because that was the last bit of yogurt so I was on my way to dispose of the yogurt cup and wash the spoon. I thought I'd drop by to see if you uh, if you had seen The Duck. Anyway, I was consuming the yogurt fully clothed.

This is a much abridged and civilized telling of the Naked Yogurt Time tale. Benji and Paul often devolve into bickering and incessant arguing in a rather playful and wry manner

[edit] Naked Yogurt Time Redux

On a later occurance Benji walked up to Paul's closed door and knocked. There was a significant delay in answering the door and Paul eventually emerged holding a cup of yogurt. Benji immediately began yelling that Paul was engaging in naked yogurt time. Paul continues to deny this stating that he was getting ready for Improv Club meeting that evening.

The reality is that both parties were probably clothed during their said naked yogurt time but no party will let the individual live it down.

[edit] Use in Improv

This scandal of Naked Yogurt Time was the backdrop for the best segue ever, leading up to a game of That's How it Really Happened.