Chapter XVI: Survivor Series

Date: Monday, November 18, 2007

Tonight will be a night long remembered. It has seen the proliferation of the New Corporation and the Throng, it will soon see the fruition of their rivalry. Aside from Star Wars vernacular, tonight really is going to be groundbreaking! The world will stand witness to a classic survivor style match between the entire New Corporation and the Throng. This epic war is sure to decide which faction is more powerful, but is tonight really going to be the end of the feud? Is this going to be the ultimate culmination? Who's to say? Except me, of course...

JR: "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Survivor Series! After what transpired this past Monday night on Raw, I don't know what to expect!"

King: "Neither do I, JR! I mean who could have ever suspected that those notes were coming not only from Shawn Michaels, but from Shane McMahon as well! I'm just blown away at this entire thing..."

JR: "Well, regardless of you being blown away for the fifth time today--"

King: "What?"

JR: "Oh, stop it, King. I saw you and that hooker in the back."

King: "...You did?"

JR: "Of course I did, Jerry! She was actin' like that damned thing was a Tootsie Pop!"

King: "OK! Enough, Ross! I don't want my wife to hear this." >_>

JR: "Sorry. Uh, well anyway, I have a feeling tonight's main event is going to decide the fates of several individuals."

King: "I agree. Oh, by the way..."

JR: "Yeah?"

King: "I think I'm actually starting to like Cena!"

JR: "Really?"

King: "Yeah, I mean for a long time he was just this repetitive, hackneyed Austin wannabe."

JR: "Well, what's wrong with that?"

King: >_> "Anyway, now that he's reverted back to his original ways, I dig him! Ya know? The fans don't want some unrealistic Superman-Marine hybrid superhero, who's got such a limited repertoire as to rival Giant Gonzalez' moveset, and who cuts the same promo every time he gets involved with a ‘new’ feud, which is actually just a rehash of his last one. The fans want THIS Cena! The trash talking, doesn’t-give-a-damn hoodlum from the streets, who’ll do anything to win a match and who dominates his opponents not only physically but verbally! JR, John Cena is back in the house!”

JR: “I’m glad you’ve seen the light, King!”

King: “Actually, I think Cena has seen the light...”

JR: “Same difference.”

King: “Not really.”

JR: “...”

King: “Let’s not get into a fight, alright?”

JR: “Fine. So... have you tried my new barbeque sauce lately?”

King: >_>

The Basic Thuganomics theme hits and John Cena makes his way to the ring. The fans are going wild, and Jim Ross appears to be adjusting his crotch.

Cena: “Yo, yo, yo, yo. Tonight’s not about freestylin’ or verbally abusin’. Tonight’s about one thing: kickin’ ass. Now last week, the mystery of the notes was solved, as Shawn Michaels, the Heartbreak Dick, interfered and stuck his nose into our business. Well let me tell you somethin’, HBK, you’ve gone and signed a deal with the devil, dawg. You’ve gone and made the biggest mistake of your life. We’re not only gonna beat you up tonight and destroy the New Corporation, we’re gonna castrate you of your manhood, *****! Oh, and Shane, yeah you out-smarted us, I’ll give ya that, homie. But now it’s time for US to outfight YOU! Ya see you can’t hide behind your stupid little desk anymore, ya pencil-pushin’ *****! You gotta step in the ring with five pissed off men who want nothing more than to whup... your... ass! And you can bring along your geriatric pops, your jacked-off bodyguard and your pissant son-in-law, but it don’t mean a damn thing. Tonight... you are ALL... GOING.... DOWN!

JR: “My God I’ve never seen Cena this fired up before!”

Mr. McMahon emerges from backstage.

Vince: “Cena, I’m sorry to interrupt--”

Cena: “I was done talkin’, fool.”

Vince: >_>

Cena: “Now what the **** do you want?”

Vince: “I’m sick and tired of your lack of respect, Cena, you know what? You have no respect for authority, and you damn sure should have some! And ya know why? Because when you don’t, you leave me with no other choice than to make your life a living HELL! Now tonight, Cena, tonight is not going to be the end for the New Corporation. Oh, no. I’m sorry but you’re mistaken. No, tonight is going to be the coup de grace for you, Cena. Ya know what means? I didn’t think so, an uneducated imp such as yourself. That means that tonight we are going to deliver the decisive finishing blow to the Throng, Cena! Tonight’s match is going to be a No Disqualification match! Tonight the Throng gets annihilated!”

JR: “Wow... strong words from our boss, King. I’m not so sure about Cena’s chances now.”

King: “Man... what did Vince call that? The ‘coup de grace’?”

JR: “Yeah...”

King: “Since when is he French?”

JR: -_-

King: “Alright... let’s dance.”

JR: “What?”

King: “See me, I believe in a fair fight. You know, one on one, man to man, hand to hand? Just like my daddy taught me. But what I saw out there was not very fair...”

JR: “King, what are you talking about?”

King: “The Emperor will not tolerate failure... and neither... will... I!”

JR: “King... are you... are you quoting Mortal Kombat?”

King: “Listen...”

JR: “What?”

King: “What you are about to face is vastly more important than... your ego, your enemy, or your quest for revenge.”

JR: *sigh*

King: “Listen! And understand!”

JR: “I’m listening...” >_>

King: “That Terminator is out there! It can’t be bargained with! It can’t be reasoned with! It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop! EVER! Until you are DEAD!”

JR: “Now it’s the Terminator?”

King: “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

JR: “Damnit cut it out now, Jerry.”

King: “Now don’t you blame the movies, JR! Movies don’t create psychos! Movies make psychos more creative!”

JR: O_o

King: “What’s the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback?”

JR: “...What?”

King: “Hahaha... hilarious question... particularly from you...”

JR: <_<

King: “I hate sand.”

JR: “Why?”

King: “It’s rough and coarse, and it gets everywhere!”

JR: “Yeah...”

King: “Not like here... where everything’s soft and...”


King: “...smooooth...”

JR: “King, stop rubbing my arm!”

King: “Ahem, sorry, Ross. Wait... what just happened?”

JR: “You were just quoting random movies!”

King: “Wow, again?!”

The cameras cut to the office of the New Corporation. Shane is watching Lashley and Mr. Kennedy play Super Mario Bros. while awaiting his father’s return.

Lashley: “Ow, that walking mushroom just killed me!”

Kennedy: “That’s called a Goomba, you idiot.”

Lashley: “How was I supposed to know that?”

Kennedy: “Never mind, just hit that block and touch the mushroom that comes out of it.”

Lashley: “A mushroom’s gonna come out of that brick?”

Kennedy: “Yeah, and it’s gonna make you grow.”

Lashley: “What the Hell was the dude who made this game smokin’?”

Kennedy: “Damnit Lashley you are the worst Mario player I’ve ever seen! Gimme that controller!”

Lashley: “NO!” Ò_Ó

Kennedy: “I said give me it! Drop the controller, you douchebag!”

Shane: “Guys, come on, cut it out. Geez...”

Kennedy & Lashley: “Fine...” V_V

Kennedy (whispering): “You suck!”

Lashley: “It least I killed that turtle!”

Kennedy: *sigh*

Mr. McMahon enters.

Shane: “Hey, dad... nice job out there. I could see Cena shakin’ in his boots.” >:-D

Vince: “Thanks... so, uh... why are they playing Mario?”

Shane: “Who knows? Kennedy started playin’ it last week and they haven’t stopped since. Weird...”

Mr. McMahon unplugs the system.

Kennedy: “Hey!”

Lashley: :’(

Vince: “Come on, guys, enough of the damn video games. It’s time to concentrate! Tonight is going to be the end of the Throng, goddamnit!”

Shane: “Hey dad... were’s Shawn?”

Vince: “What?”

Shane: “He hasn’t been here all day!”

Vince: “What do you mean he hasn’t been here?”

Shane: “I mean he hasn’t been here! I haven’t seen him, and neither have Lashley or Kennedy...”

Vince: “Hmmm.... I’m sure it’s nothing. He’ll be here.”

Shane: “Dad, do you think he might be trying to--”

Vince: “Shane, don’t go there. We had an agreement, and he’s gonna stick to it. Trust me.”

Shane: “Alright, whatever you say...”

The cameras cut to Josh Grisham, who is standing backstage ready to interview a (fully-clothed) Batista.

Grisham: “Batista, first of all I want to thank you for agreeing to this interview.”

Batista: “You’re welcome, Josh.”

Grisham: “First of all, I have to ask you something, and please don’t get offended. But over the past few weeks we have seen you... well, streak around the arena stark naked. But today you’re fully clothed and acting like your normal self. What’s the explanation?”

Batista: “Grisham... things are not funny anymore. They’re serious. Dead serious.”

Grisham: “...What are you talking about?”

Batista: “Twilight is upon the WWE, Josh. And soon... night must fall.”

Grisham: “Are you referring to tonight’s main event?”

Batista: “Hehehehe...”

Grisham: “Well?”

Batista: “Grisham, tonight’s main event is but a footnote in the grand scope of the WWE’s future.”

Grisham: “I’m sorry, Batista, but I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Batista: “Don’t worry, Grisham. We are so close, and yet so far from the epiphany. Soon you, along with everyone else on Raw, will understand. Darkness... is... coming...” *_*

Batista creepily backs away...

Grisham: >_> “Alright... uhhh... back to you, JR...”

JR: “What in the Hell was that all about?”

King: “That was one of the most bizarre encounters I have ever seen, Ross.”

JR: “It seems as though there is a new mystery lurking in the background, King...”

King: “Yeah, Batista said we’re so close, but yet so far? What the Hell does that mean?”

JR: “I have no idea on earth, King.”

King: “Well... coming up shortly is another edition of Carlito’s Cabana!”

The cameras cut to the Throng’s dressing room...

Coach: “So you actually grew up fighting on the streets of England?”

Regal: “Yes, and it was quite titillating, to be honest.”

Coach: “What was your win-loss record?”

Regal: “Oh, my dear Coach, it wasn’t about win-loss records.”

Coach: “It wasn’t?”

Regal: “No, sir. It was about surviving. If you lasted long enough to fight another day, that was all the qualifications you needed to earn respect...”

Coach: “Holy crap, dude. Sounds like a vicious environment...”

Regal: “Indeed it was, Coach.”

Coach: “Well... I’m glad you’re on OUR side, Regal...” O_o

Regal: :-)

Cena enters

Orton: “Hey, Cena. Listen, do you know where HHH is?”

Cena: “Triple H? What do you mean, dawg?”

Orton: “He’s not here, and none of us have seen him all day...”

Cena: “Really?”

Regal: “Yes, Cener. Triple Haitch has not been here all day.”

Cena: “Ah, I’m sure it’s nothin’ guys. He’ll be here...”

Regal: “Hmmm...”

Coach: “What’s up, Regal?”

Regal: “I think I’m gonna host a new game show tonight!”

Coach: “Alright! I love your game shows! I’ll be sure to watch!”

Orton: “Don’t you need Vince’s permission?”

Regal: “Oh, that miserable specimen can’t stop me... I’m still the General Manager of RAW. Stephanie granted me unassailable executive authority!”

Coach: “What does that mean?”

Regal: “It means I will be General Manager until I tender my resignation! I can’t be fired!”

Orton: “Wow, sweet.”

The set for Carlito’s Cabana is all set-up in the ring. The host makes his way to the squared circle...

Carlito: “Last week... Carlito was brutally assaulted by a crazed savage! A beast with animalistic rage and nasty breath! I mean, seriously, have you seen those grills? Umaga’s breath is like a stank-slut sandwich with three damn husbands! Umaga... Carlito is demanding that you come out here right now and explain your actions to Carlito!”


Carlito: “Come down to the ring right now, Umaga! Carlito is not going to wait much longer!”

Melina’s music hits and the vixen makes her way to the ring.

Carlito: “Melina? What are you doing here? This is Carlito’s Cabana...”

Melina: “I know, Carlito...” ;-)

Carlito: >_> “So, uhh... ya like my set?”

Melina: “Ohhh... mm-hmmm... I love your coconuts...”

Carlito: O_O “Yeah? You could rub them if you want...”

Melina: “I’d love to rub those hairy nuts of yours, Carlito...”

Carlito: *gulp*

Melina edges in closer and closer to Carlito, rubbing her body seductively along his. Carlito does not notice that Umaga is charging the ring, as if there is a rusty spoon wedged deep in his ass cheeks. The savage enters the ring and takes down Carlito.

Melina: “Ha! You idiot! You really think I’d go out with a loser like you, Carlito?!”

Umaga: “FA’A SAMOA!”

Melina: “Oh, and by the way, if Umaga’s breath smells bad, it’s because of what he just did backstage with me!”

King: >_>

JR: “Oh, my dear lord...”

King: “Did she just say that?”

Melina: “C’mon, Umaga... let’s go backstage and give me a Samoan Spike!”

King: “Oh my god!”

Umaga: “DO-WAAA!” >:-D

JR: “Well... we’ve gotta cut to a commercial break. Raw will return!”

The first commercial is for Truth.

Truth Guy: “Many years ago, people determined that smoking was bad for you.” -_-

Random Pedestrian: >_>

Truth Guy: “But the cigarette companies continued to make cigarettes.” -_-

Random Pedestrian: <_<

Truth Guy: “Making cigarettes even though they can hurt you?” -_-


(Editor’s Note: The Truth commercials are one of the most nauseating ads ever to be broadcast on national television. Not only is the host one of the most uninteresting people I have ever laid eyes on, but the arguments set forth in such commercials are asinine. Perhaps Truth should stop blaming the cigarette companies and start placing the blame on the idiots who smoke.)

The second commercial is for Geico.

Narrator: “America was never hit harder than when John F. Kennedy was assassinated. But experts now believe that had the president’s car been insured by Geico, he would have survived. Geico - could save you 15% or more on car insurance.”

The third commercial is for Skittles. There is a cute little bunny rabbit sitting on a log. Nearby, a mutant ladybug is being chased by a voracious scorpion.

Rabbit: “Oh no! The ladybug’s about to die!”

The rabbit pours a bag of Skittles in front of the scorpion, distracting him and confusing him as to which colorful trinket is actually the ladybug.

Ladybug: “Thank you, you saved my life!”

Rabbit: “No problem!” *eats ladybug*

Narrator: “Taste the Rainbow.”

Welcome back to the show! The cameras cut to the New Corporation’s office. Shawn Michaels enters...

Vince: “Shawn, there you are! Where have you been?”

Shawn: “Hey, calm down, Vince. I was just takin’ care of some business as it pertains to tonight’s main event, ok?”

Vince: “Well.... I thought we had an agreement to share our decisions together--”

Shawn: “Stop. We had an agreement that I follow MY rules. Not yours. MINE. Deal with it.”

William Regal makes his way to the ring.

Regal: “Ladies and gentlemen... welcome to a brand new WWE game show!”

Massive applause.

Regal: “Tonight’s game is entitled ‘Kiss the Ugly Frog.’ Now the rules of this game are very simple: each contestant must say something nice about the other two participants. The individual who I believe is the most sincere is the winner! Now the reward for winning will not be revealed until the end of the game! Now then, introducing the contestants! First... he is a sadomasochistic freak of nature... Snitsky! Next, he is an obsequious toerack... Santino. Finally, he epitomizes gung-ho Americanism... Hacksaw Jim Duggan! Let the game’s begin! Hacksaw, why don’t we start with you...”

Hacksaw: “Santino... you’re pretty athletic for not being an American! And Snitsky... our forefathers would be proud of your mercilessness!”

Regal: “Amazing... I was unaware you could say anything other than--”

Duggan: “HOOOOOOOO!”

Regal: “Yes... that. Anyway... Santino, you’re next...”

Santino: “Ahem... Meester Regale... I refuse to-a take part-a in this, how you say, miserable excuse for a game show!”

Regal: “What in the bloody Hell is wrong with you?”

Santino: “America is-a da worst country in-a do entire world!”

Boos of Brobdingnagian proportions.

Regal: “Play the damn game before I lock you into the Regal Stretch!”

Santino: “Calm-a down, Regale. Please. Alright, I will play-a your little game. Ahem, Meester Hacksaw... despite da fact that you have-a lots of, uh, how you say, loose skin, you look better for-a your age.”

Hacksaw: :-/

Santino: “And you... Snitsky.”

Snitsky stands up.

Santino: “Hey, calm down-a, now, you monster. I just-a wanted to say dat your features are so.. ehh... refined! Da symmetrical placement of the acne on-a your back makes Euclid-a jealous. And-a your exquisite teeth are so, eh... profound.” >_>

Regal: “You’re not a very good flatterer, Santino. Snitsky, you’re next.”

The crowd surprisingly cheers.

Snitsky: “Hacksaw... I see you’ve got a big piece of wood there. Yeah... well I’ve got wood, too. But it’s not in my hand... at least not right now. It could be in your hands later if you’d like...”

Hacksaw: ._.

Snitsky: “...or maybe I could just torture you all night long and shiver my timbers to your squeals of anguish...”

Hacksaw: O_o

Snitsky: “And you... Santino...”

Santino: “What’s up?”

Snitsky: “One guess.”

Santino: >_>

Snitsky: “I know you haven’t forgotten about our last encounter...”

Santino: “Umm... I don’t have-a any idea what you are-a talkin about.” >_>

Snitsky: “Oh, no I’m sure that you do, Santino. I’ve violated colons before, but that one was my favorite. I love making young Italians beg for mercy...” >:-D

Regal: “Ummm... Snitsky is the winner of the game!”

Regal, Santino and Hacksaw quickly leave the ring...

Snitsky: “Regal... what’s my reward?”

Regal: “Your reward is not being locked up in an asylum you sick, twisted specimen!”

JR: “Tonight has been one Hell of a ride so far, King!”

King: “Ross, with all the sexual innuendos going around lately, please don’t call tonight ‘one Hell of a ride.’ Get it?”

JR: “Ah, yeah I got ya, King.”

King: “Good. Goooooood. I can feel your anguhhh...”

JR: “Oh, damnit, not again...”

King: “Your suffering will be legendary, even in Hell!”

JR: “What did I do?!”

King: “You killed him! You SON OF A *****!, you KILLED HIM!” :’(

JR: O_o

The cameras cut back to the Throng’s dressing room. Triple H enters.

Cena: “Hey, where have you been, man?”

HHH: “What are you talkin’ about?”

Cena: “We’ve been preparing for our match all night and you don’t show up until now?”

HHH: “What’s your problem, man?”

Cena: “My problem is you not being a team playa, holmes!”

HHH: “Yo who the--”

Orton: “Guys! Guys! Relax... come on. Trips, just tell Cena where you were so he can calm down and get back to business.”

HHH: “I was takin’ care of some business, alright?”

Cena: “You were--”

HHH: “I was taking care of BUSINESS. End of discussion.”

Triple H leaves angrily.

Orton: “What the Hell was that all about?”

Cena: “I don’t know, Randy... but somethin’ ain’t right.”

The cameras cut to the office of the New Corporation.

Vince: “Alright guys, the match is coming up next. Are you ready?”

Shane: “I’m ready to tear them apart, pops!”

Mr. Kennedy: “The Throng is going down!”

Lashley: “I’m gonna get you, Bowser!”

Vince: “LASHLEY!”

Lashley: “Oh, sorry! Uh, yeah! Down with the Throng!”

HBK: “The stable’s goin’ down tonight, and I’m gonna be the one to break it down.”

HBK leaves before the others.

Shane: “Did he just say--”

Vince: “It’s just a coincidence, Shane. Relax...”

The cameras cut back to the Throng’s dressing room. Triple H comes back in.

Cena: “Look, I’m sorry for gettin’ all up in your face before, man. Let’s just go out there and kick some ass, aiight?”

HHH: “I’m with ya man.”

Orton: “Let’s do it.”

Coach: “I’m ready!”

Regal: “Those miserable specimens are gonna feel like they’ve been hacked up with a bloody hatchet!”

The cameras cut back to the announcer’s booth.

JR: “The time is now, King! The date is set and the match is on! I am SO pumped!”

King: “Me too, JR! I can’t wait to see which stable finally gets to claim dominance over the WWE! Will it be the New Corporation or the Throng?”

JR: “We’re about to find out!”

The New Corporation (Mr. McMahon, Shane McMahon, Bobby Lashley, Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels) make their way to the ring, followed by the Throng (John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, The Coach and William Regal).

JR: “Good lord the intensity is through the roof! My blood pressure is skyrocketing! King, hand me a xanax!”

King: “We don’t have anymore!”

JR: “Aw, damnit! Oh well...”

The bell rings and the match is under way! Mr. McMahon starts off the match for the New Corporation, while the Coach does so for the Throng. Vince goes for a Clothesline but Coach ducks and nails the boss with a few right hands, busting him open the early going of the match! Infuriated, Vince tags in Shane, but Coach tags in Regal. The Southpaw from England goes to work on the son of the Chairman, planting him with a Gutwrench Suplex followed by a Half Nelson Suplex. Regal locks on a Goku-Raku Stretch but Mr. Kennedy breaks it up. Shane tags in Lashley, who goes to work on Regal.

JR: “I can’t imagine what these ten individuals must be feeling right now, King!”

King: “Me neither!”

Lashley plants Regal with a Military Powerslam. Regal manages to surprise Lashley with a Drop Toe Hold and he tags in Orton, who delivers a series of stomps to Lashley. Orton connects with an Inverted Backbreaker and Lashley kicks out at 2. He goes for his patented running punt but Lashley dodges and takes down Orton with a Clothesline before tagging in Mr. Kennedy, who delivers several shoulder thrusts to the Legend Killer (err, make that Legend Destroyer).

Fifteen minutes later...

All five members of both teams are still in the match, and a couple steel chairs are lying on the mat. Shawn Michaels and John Cena are in the ring. Cena goes for a diving shoulder block but HBK ducks. He goes for Sweet Chin Music but Cena dodges that and goes for an F-U. HBK fights out of it and goes for a Schoolboy Roll-up. 1... 2... kick out! Cena takes down HBK with a Protoplex and crawls over to his corner. He tags in the Game. Triple H enters the ring and charges at Michaels, but stops. HBK gets to his feet and both men stare at each other, smiling.

JR: “What in the Hell is going on here?”

Vince: “Attack him, damnit!”

Cena: “Trips, what the Hell are you doing?!”

Triple H and HBK both grab a steel chair and begin attacking their own teammates! Having left both the Throng and the New Corporation in decimation, HBK and HHH signal that D-Generation-X is back! They exit, leaving eight battered bodies around the ring. The referee counts them out and the match is now down to Vince, Shane, Lashley and Kennedy VS Cena, Orton, Coach and Regal.

King: “What in the world?!”

JR: “D-X is back! D-X is back! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!”

Five minutes later...

The teams have recovered and it is now Coach in the ring, battling against Mr. Kennedy. Coach attempts a right hand but Kennedy ducks and delivers a Low Blow. He rams Coach’s head into the turnbuckle before delivering the Green Bay Plunge for the 1-2-3. Regal appears frustrated and jumps off the ring apron. He heads up the ramp and gets himself counted out!

JR: “What the Hell is Regal doing?! He’s just turned his back on the Throng! Why is everything falling APART?!”

With the New Corporation in firm control, Mr. McMahon enters the ring with Randy Orton. Vince swings a chair but Orton dodges the attempt and spits in Mr. McMahon’s face before delivering an RKO. He goes for the cover but Shane breaks it up. Cena enters the ring and takes down Shane. Orton grabs a chair and whacks Shane over the head with it. Vince recovers and Orton tags in Cena, who takes down the chairman with a Russian Legsweep followed by a Throwback. Vince desperately tags in Mr. Kennedy. Vince and Shane talk a little before heading up the ramp, apparently refusing to give in to anymore physical abuse!

King: “This match is insane, Ross! These factions are literally deteriorating before our very eyes!”

JR: “My God this is incredible! The match is now down to Lashley and Mr. Kennedy against Cena and Orton!”

Ten minutes later...

All four men are still in the match. Cena is in the ring with Lashley, who’s legs have been worked on intermittently throughout the course of this match-up. Cena connects with a Shin Breaker and goes to lock on the STF-U but Mr. Kennedy breaks it up. Orton and Mr. Kennedy battle on the outside and Lashley plants Cena with a Running Powerslam! 1... 2... Th- kick out! Lashley is bewildered and Cena locks on the STF-U out of nowhere! Lashley is forced to submit!

JR: “Yes! YES! The Throng have taken the lead, BAW GAWD!”

Cena celebrates in the ring. He turns around only to be met with an RKO!

JR: “What?! NO! Why, Orton, why?! Why you sonofa*****?! DAMNIT! DAMNIT!

King: “Orton just turned on Cena! I knew he wanted that title back!”

Orton heads up the ramp and gets counted out. The match is down to Cena and Mr. Kennedy. The latter is still on the outside, after being whipped into the steel steps by Orton. Cena is attempting to get back to his feet.

JR: “Come on, Cena! Get up, you can do it!”

Orton turns back and runs down to the ring. He lifts Cena and plants him with an RKO onto a steel chair!


Orton exits and Mr. Kennedy slowly eeks his way back into the ring. He crawls over to Cena and lethargically places a limp arm over Cena’s chest.

We have 1!

JR: “Kick out John! Kick out!”

We have 2!

JR: “You’ve gotta kick out John! You can do it! KICK OUT!


JR: “Oh... GOD!”

Chimel: “John Cena has been eliminated! The winners of the match... the New Corporation!”

JR: “Damnit the corporation has won!”

King: “What Corporation, Ross? They’ve disbanded! And so have the Throng! Everything has fallen apart, Ross! What’s going to happen next?!”

Orton re-emerges from backstage with a microphone.

Orton: “Hey, Cena. Cena! I know you’re a little beat up, but try and listen, ok? You should’ve known better than to trust me! That WWE Championship belongs to ME! It’s MINE, Cena! You hear me?! And I am going to take it back! Mark... my... words!”

Mr. Kennedy groggily gets to his feet and procures a microphone.

Mr. Kennedy: “Hey, Orton! I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, jackass! I just beat John Cena, and as far as I’m concerned, that puts ME in the title hunt, not you! Looks like your plan just backfired, you dumb bastard!”

Orton: >:O

Cena, staggering and reeling, gets a mic of his one. Gasping for breath...

Cena: “Orton... Kennedy... listen to me you pieces of scum.... *sigh* It doesn’t matter... *cough* which one of you it is... it doesn’t matter... who faces me for this title... because I will never back down... you bastards... *cough* you hear me?! It doesn’t matter who it is because--”

The lights go out.

JR: “What is going on here?”

King: “JR... do you think... do you think this is what Batista could’ve been talking about?!”

JR: “Oh my God, I don’t know...”

The lights turn back on, but nothing has happened. Orton, Mr. Kennedy and Cena all have concerned looks on their faces. Each leaves, battered and fatigued...

JR: “Ladies and gentlemen, this has been one of the most ungodly events that I think we will perhaps ever see! John Cena gave you his body, he gave you all his soul here tonight! But it was that damn treacherous Orton who was his undoing! Cena seems to have two hungry lions nipping at his heels, King. And they want that WWE Championship.”

King: “I don’t think this is over, JR.”

JR: “Absolutely not, King. The war has just begun...”

Unbelievable! Both factions are completely dissolved and yet normalcy is still out of reach! With the chaos of both Orton and Mr. Kennedy ensuing, will John Cena manage to survive the adversion? And what of Batista’s warnings of an imminent darkness? Was the power outage a sign of this ominous arrival? The dust has settled but the war is far from over...

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