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New Zealand Silly Party:policy

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The NZSP has policies.

We will make owning cats, dogs, rats, noxious introduced beasties illegal and we will put a Kiwi or a Tuatara, or other such endangered native animal into every home.

We also run a parrallel policy for the reduction of introduced pests. We’ll open Pest Eradication Teepee’s (PETs for short) and people can bring in nasties and recieve a bounty. $5 for every pidgeon, $15 for every possum,$100 for every wild deer, $300000 for every Bengal Tiger.

One of the main Policies is turning the West Coast of the South Island into a homosexual holiday Mecca. We will shut down all mines, cease all logging and build massive gay spas, bars and amusement parts. This interlocks with our foreign policy of promoting homosexuality internationally to prevent further explosions in population. With more homosexuals in the world, and with Westport becoming a haven for homos, NZ will rake in the tourist dollars. CHA CHING!

Solid Energy will be turned into a coal miming company, with thousands of men miming in the valleys and down the shafts.

Another keystone of our policy will be introducing the Anti Anti Smacking Bill into Parliament. This would allow you to discipline your children if you have an NCEA, unit standard, or tertiary qualification in spanking. The YtbNNZSP also promises that if elected to power we will make crime a thing of the past by dropping crime rates to 0%*. Labour, National, The Reform Party have too long put up with crime. They have let it go on and on for over 150 years. New Zealand make the right choice and join the YtbNNZSP.

This overlaps with our 0% personal tax policy. The Yet to be Named Silly Party of New Zealand, is dedicated to bringing about a tax situation where you as a consumer would pay NO personal tax. We would go about doing this by creating State Owned Enterprises and Quangos that would have a monopoly on vice. We would have state pornography websites, brothels, drugs, strip joints, poker dens, we would even bring back BZP.

Another way that a Yet to be Named Silly Party of NZ government would fund 0% personal tax would be to take all convicts and put them in a Survivor, no holds barred show. Think cross between Survivor, Jurrassic Park, Lost, and America’s Next Top Model. We would then distribute this world wide.

When they are not competing in the Survivor show we figure that convicts should be put to use doing all the jobs you don’t want to do. This will also feed into our 0% tax policy. We won’t need to hire private construction firms to build our prisons under our new initiative: “Prisoners Building Prisons, TODAY!” We also propose that all legal cases be solved with reference to Wikipedia. We would also institute a Power Rangers type police force.

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