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Nintendo/The Rugrats Movie: "Four O'Clock in the Morning"

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Transcript

[Cut to black, then fade to the exterior of the Knuckles' house at night. Kirby cries.]


[Caption: "Four O'Clock In the Morning"]


Knuckles: [exhausted] Oh, for the love of Pete. What do you want from us? What? What?


[Knuckles lays on the floor with Kirby. An American flag is waving on the TV.]


[Tiff looks in the Jr. Pac-Man book.]


Tiff: Oh, there must be something in here we missed. Somewhere, somehow, something!


Knuckles: There must be. Let me see here!


[Knuckles grabs the book from Tiff and looks inside.]


Knuckles: Cats, colic, Creole baby food. Uh, oh yeah, here it is. Crying...


[We skim the text of the book as Knuckles reads it. After the second "infant", we cut to Knuckles's blood-shot eyes, then to an exhausted Knuckles and Tiff on the couch.]


Knuckles: Although a baby's crying signifies a disruption in the infant-parent matrix, the good-enough parent pacifies the infant during this period of primary narcissism, foregoing their own needs, sublim-, sublimating, sublimating all their own needs too.


[Knuckles and Tiff fall asleep. Kirby stops crying, only to see a giant Jr. Pac-Man rotating up from behind the couch. Two babies, with books for wings, fly off of the doctor, as he is lit up. He starts to sing.]


Jr. Pac-Man: Raising a baby is a serious venture.


[Knuckles & Tiff "wake up"; one of the winged babies take away the Jr. Pac-Man book, while the other baby picks up Kirby and takes him away.]


Knuckles: Not to be embarked upon by the faint of heart.


[Jr. Pac-Man plops dunce caps on Knuckles and Tiff.]


Jr. Pac-Man: Parents must make choices that are perfect and wise, For you're doing something wrong when the baby cries.


[A book on top of a pile of books opens, and Jr. Pac-Man picks up the couple and drops them into some sort of netherworld.]


[In that world, Knuckles & Tiff races up a "staircase" of books.]


Jr. Pac-Man: You must consider, the psychology of an infant...


[Knuckles and Tiff then appear as small babies -- Knuckles in diapers, and Tiff all wrapped up, sucking on a pacifier.]


Jr. Pac-Man: Nature vs. Nurture, feed the ego; starve the mind.


[Twin Jr. Pac-Man appear on either side of the crib. They embrace each other, then turn into a Ms. Pac-Man print, which Jr. Pac-Man holds, while sitting in a chair.]


Jr. Pac-Man: You must anticipate each crisis sure to arise, for you're doing something wrong when the baby cries.


[As Jr. Pac-Man sings, a saw saws a hole underneath Knuckles & Tiff, then, they fall through. They are picked up by a giant stork by its claws, holding Jr. Pac-Man inside its beak, while flying with a flock of storks.]


[Cut to a puppet theater, with puppeteer Jr. Pac-Man holding Knuckles and Tiff puppets. Pikachu and Kirby snatch the puppets from Jr. Pac-Man, and fight over them.]


Jr. Pac-Man: Don't forget the older when attending to the younger, sibling rivalry can damage all of you.


[The house plops on top of them. As its walls bulge, Knuckles & Tiff rush out with Kirby, dodging falling giant baby items -- rattle, baby bottle, safety pin.]


Jr. Pac-Man: Be a mother, don't smother, why do you want a neurosis?


[Kirby grows unbelievably large, crushing Knuckles & Tiff.]


Jr. Pac-Man: Failure to oralise can lead to toilet training disturbances.


[Kirby's balloon bulges, then explodes.]


[Cut to Knuckles, to Kirby. Jr. Pac-Man pops out of a pail, yelling...]


Jr. Pac-Man: Wrong!


[Cut to Tiff, rocking Pikachu & Kirby to sleep. They start to cry when Jr. Pac-Man rolls up a window and shouts...]


Jr. Pac-Man: Wrong!


[Cut to Knuckles, strolling Kirby with Pikachu on his back. Jr. Pac-Man looks with a magnifying glass, as Vector, Eilonwy & Taran look on.]


Jr. Pac-Man: Careful, now!


[Cut to Kirby crying, in an auto carrier. Knuckles & Tiff rush to his aid, when Jr. Pac-Man, with Orson, Ash & Link looking on, opens the roof and says...]


Jr. Pac-Man: No, no, no! Bad parents! Bad parents!


[Cut to Knuckles, Tiff & Kirby rushing through the city. The winged babies picked them up and flew them to a temple of justice. Jr. Pac-Man appears as a "lawyer".]


Jr. Pac-Man: Raising a baby is a complicated venture. Not to be embarked on by a weaker constitution.


[Lipschitz then appears as a giant baby, standing on the table, between Kirby & Pikachu.]


Jr. Pac-Man: It's really something different, from what we fantacise, You are doing something wrong when the baby cries.


[Jr. Pac-Man leaps to the couple. Then, he goes to a jury of Kirby's, which gives "thumbs down" . The couple magically 'appears in prison garb, and a ball and chain.]


Jr. Pac-Man: It's really very different, from what we fantasize, You are doing something wrong when the baby... starts to... [screams] CRRRYYYYYYY!


[Pikachu plops a giant book on top of the couple.]


[The dream ends, waking up the couple. They look at each other as Kirby cries.]



* [Cut to Knuckles, strolling Kirby with Pikachu on his back. Jr. Pac-Man looks with a magnifying glass, as Vector, Radio & Rouge look on.]

* Jr. Pac-Man: Careful, now!

[Cut to Kirby crying, in an auto carrier. Knuckles & Tiff rush to his aid, when Jr. Pac-Man, with Amy Rose, Zelda & Sheik looking on, opens the roof and says...]

* Jr. Pac-Man: No, no, no! Bad parents! Bad parents!

[Cut to Knuckles, Tiff & Kirby rushing through the city. The winged babies picked them up and flew them to a temple of justice. Jr. Pac-Man appears as a "lawyer".]

* Jr. Pac-Man: Raising a baby is a complicated venture. Not to be embarked on by a weaker constitution.

* [Jr. Pac-Man then appears as a giant baby, standing on the table, between Kirby & Pikachu.]

* Jr. Pac-Man: It's really something different, from what we fantacise, you are doing something wrong when the baby cries.

* [Jr. Pac-Man leaps to the couple. Then, he goes to a jury of Kirby's, which gives "thumbs down" . The couple magically appears in prison garb, and a ball and chain.]

* Jr. Pac-Man: It's really very different, from what we fantacise, you are doing something wrong when the baby... starts to... cry!

* [Pikachu plops a giant book on top of the couple.]

* [The dream ends, waking up the couple. They look at each other as Kirby cries.]

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