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No Joke For James/Thomas, Percy and The Squeak/Harvey To The Rescue is an episode of the YTV version of Thomas and Friends.

Plot

  • James' jokes backfire/Thomas finds a squeaky sound/Harvey comes to visit the Island of Sodor.

Characters

  • Thomas
  • Edward
  • Henry
  • Gordon
  • James
  • Percy
  • Harvey
  • Bertie
  • Cranky
  • Sir Topham Hatt
  • Annie and Clarabel (do not speak)
  • Toby (cameo)
  • Duck (cameo)
  • Donald (cameo)
  • Salty (cameo)
  • Bulgy (mentioned)

Songs

  1. Thomas' Anthem
  2. Troublesome Trucks
  3. Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

Notes

  • Release Date: December 13, 2003.
  • Narrated by George Carlin and Alec Baldwin.

Transcript

  • (We open this episode with the Britt Allcroft Presents logo)
  • (We then show the Thomas Season 5 intro and we afterwards begin No Joke For James)
  • George Carlin: James is a mixed traffic engine. He can pull both freight cars and coaches. He's proud of his smart red paint and so is his driver.
  • James' Driver: Everyone says you brighten up your day, James.
  • George Carlin: One morning, James whistled loudly at the other engines.
  • James: Look at me! I'm a smartest most useful engine on the line!
  • Thomas: Rubbish.
  • George Carlin: Replied Thomas.
  • Thomas: We're all useful. Sir Topham Hatt says so and he's headed the whole railway.
  • Percy: You know what, James?
  • George Carlin: Added Percy.
  • James: What?
  • George Carlin: Replied James.
  • Percy: You're getting all puffed out.
  • George Carlin: James huffed away. Later, he was still boasting.
  • James: I'm the pride of the line.
  • Gordon: I saw you're pulling freight cars.
  • George Carlin: You're only a goods engine.
  • James: I've pull coaches too.
  • Gordon: Not as much as I do.
  • James: But Sir Topham Hatt has plans for me.
  • George Carlin: James was making this up but Gordon believe him.
  • Gordon: What plans?
  • James: Uh, wait and see. Oh dear.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • James: Now what'll I do?
  • George Carlin: Thomas was shunting shiny new coaches.
  • Thomas: Good morning, James.
  • James: Are those coaches for me?
  • George Carlin: Asked James hopefully.
  • Thomas: No, these are for Gordon's Express. I'll fetch your freight cars next.
  • George Carlin: But James was going to play a trick on the other engines.
  • James: Actually, Thomas, I'm taking the coaches. Sir Topham Hatt ask me to tell you.
  • Thomas: What about the cars?
  • George Carlin: Asked Thomas.
  • James: Uh, give them to Gordon.
  • Thomas' Driver: Come on, Thomas.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Thomas' Driver: Orders and orders.
  • George Carlin: So when James' driver returned, James was coupled to the coaches and he puffed away. Thomas returned with the freight cars. And a few minutes later, Gordon arrived.
  • Gordon: Where's the express?
  • George Carlin: Thomas told him about James.
  • Thomas: And so here are your cars.
  • George Carlin: Gordon was very cross and so his driver.
  • Gordon's Driver: Wait'll Sir Topham Hatt heres about this.
  • George Carlin: Meanwhile James was enjoying himself enormously.
  • James: What a clever plan! What a clever plan!
  • George Carlin: He chuffed. Then he saw Sir Topham Hatt.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Some jokes are funny, but not this one, James. You have caused confusion.
  • James: Yes Sir.
  • George Carlin: Said James.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: You will now stay in your shed until you are wanted.
  • George Carlin: The other engines teased James.
  • Gordon: I wonder who'd be pulling the express today?
  • George Carlin: Said Gordon.
  • Henry: I expect it'll be you.
  • George Carlin: Replied Henry.
  • Henry: James is stuck in the shed for being silly.
  • George Carlin: James felt sad. Next morning, he went back to work.
  • Thomas: Hello.
  • George Carlin: Whistled Thomas.
  • Thomas: Good to see you out and about again.
  • James: I'm sorry I tricked you.
  • George Carlin: Said James.
  • James: Are these my cars?
  • Thomas: Yes.
  • George Carlin: Replied Thomas kindly.
  • Thomas: They're please to have you back.
  • George Carlin: James set off to the harbour with a train of freight cars. He bustled about all day pushing and pulling them into place.
  • James' Driver: Time to go home now, James.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver at last.
  • James' Driver: No cars or passengers. Just we too.
  • George Carlin: But his driver was wrong.
  • Railway Inspector: Excuse me.
  • George Carlin: Said the man.
  • Railway Inspector: I have a meeting with Sir Topham Hatt and I mustn't be late. May I ride back with you?
  • James' Driver: Of course.
  • George Carlin: Replied James' driver. Then he whispered to James.
  • James' Driver: This gentleman is a railway inspector.
  • George Carlin: James was most impressed. He steamed along the line as smoothly and quickly as he could. Sir Topham Hatt was waiting on the platform and the railway inspector greeted him warmly.
  • Railway Inspector: This clever engine gave me a splendid ride. You must be proud of him.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Yes indeed. Once again, you are a really useful engine.
  • (A passing by sequence occurs and we begin Thomas' Anthem)
  • Children: (singing) It's Thomas the Tank Engine. Hip, hip, hip, hip, hooray! Chugga-chugga, chugg, chugg Chuff, chuff, chuff. He rides along the way. And when you hear that whistle, It can only be one train. Our favourite little engine, Thomas is his name! Thomas the Tank Engine rolling along, (whistling) All of his friends will be coming along. Thomas, we love you. He's a really useful engine With his heart that's big and strong. He chugga-chugga, chuff-chuffs working hard Helping everyone. Thomas, he has lots of friends And you can be one too. Just clap, clap, clap and sing-along Thomas, we love you. Thomas the Tank Engine rolling along, (whistling) All of his friends will be coming along. Thomas, we love you. There's Gordon and Henry, Edward, James and Toby, Annie and Clarabel.
  • Boy: And don't forget Percy!
  • Children: (singing) Terence and Bertie, Diesel, Duck and Daisy, Lots more friends for you. He's always up to mischief, That cheeky little train. He chugga-chugga-chuff-chuffs everywhere, He's always playing games. The Fat Controller scolds him, But loves him just the same. Our favourite little engine, Thomas is his name! Thomas the Tank Engine rolling along, (whistling) All of his friends will be coming along. Thomas we love you. Thomas the Tank Engine rolling along, (whistling) All of his friends will be coming along. Thomas we love you, Thomas we love you, Thomas, We love you!
  • (Whistle blowing)
  • (Another passing by sequence occurs and we begin Thomas, Percy and The Squeak)
  • Alec Baldwin: The engines on the Island of Sodor love the summer. Sir Topham Hatt arranges lots of concerts. Music can often be heard drifting through the air. The engines do enjoy it. One morning, the engines were very excited. Alicia Botti, the famous singer, was coming to the Island of Sodor.
  • Gordon: She's a coloratura.
  • Alec Baldwin:: Said Gordon importantly.
  • Thomas: What's a coloratura?
  • Alec Baldwin: Asked Thomas.
  • Gordon: It means she can sing high notes very, very loud.
  • James: Sir Topham Hatt will choose me to collect her.
  • Alec Baldwin: Boasted James.
  • James: I'm the brightest and the shiniest.
  • Gordon: Nonsense, I'm the most important.
  • Alec Baldwin: Huffed Gordon. Thomas wanted to feel important too.
  • Thomas: He might choose me.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said hopefully.
  • Gordon: Well one thing's for sure...
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Gordon.
  • Gordon: He wont choose Dirty Percy.
  • Percy: Don't call me Dirty Percy.
  • Alec Baldwin: He chuffed crossly and he wheeshed away. But the next day, Sir Topham Hatt didn't choose Gordon and he didn't choose James, he chose Thomas.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Make sure Annie and Clarabel are squeaky clean.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Thomas: Yes, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Thomas proudly. He felt very important indeed.
  • Thomas: Move aside, Dirty Percy.
  • Alec Baldwin: Chuffed Thomas.
  • Thomas: I'm the important engine today.
  • Percy: But I need a washdown.
  • Alec Baldwin: Wailed Percy.
  • Percy: My passengers will laugh at me.
  • Thomas: But I had to be squeaky clean.
  • Alec Baldwin: Huffed Thomas.
  • Thomas: So you'll just have to wait.
  • Percy: I can't wait!
  • Alec Baldwin: Grumped Percy.
  • Percy: I'm a guaranteed connection.
  • Alec Baldwin: And he chuffed away. Soon, Thomas was shiny and squeaky clean. He felt more important than ever. But as the workers coupled Annie and Clarabel, they heard a strange sound.
  • Mouse: (squeaks)
  • Thomas: What's that?
  • Alec Baldwin: Asked Thomas anxiously. His driver quickly oiled Annie and Clarabel's under carriage.
  • Thomas' Driver: That should take care of the bothersome squeak.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said. On the way to the docks, Thomas heard the squeak again. He was worried. He didn't sound like his squeaky clean squeak. Thomas squeaked noisily into the keyside where Alicia Botti was waiting. Sir Topham Hatt held Clarabel's door open when...
  • Alicia Botti: A mouse!
  • Alec Baldwin: Alicia Botti screamed.
  • Mouse: (squeaking)
  • Alicia Botti: (screaming)
  • Alec Baldwin: And she screamed and she screamed and she screamed. She screamed so loud and so long that windows broke all over town.
  • Gordon: Definitely a coloratura.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Gordon. Alicia Botti was cross.
  • Alicia Botti: I can't possibly travel in coaches riddled with mice.
  • Alec Baldwin: Sir Topham Hatt was very embarrassed and Thomas didn't feel important at all. Just then, Percy returned from his guaranteed connection.
  • Alicia Botti: Look at the little green engine.
  • Alec Baldwin: Alicia Botti exclaimed.
  • Alicia Botti: So sweet and dirty like a proper steam engine.
  • Gordon: But he's filthy.
  • Alec Baldwin: Gordon huffed snootily.
  • Percy: But I cleaned up nice.
  • Alec Baldwin: Smiled Percy. He was glad somebody noticed. Alicia Botti boarded the train and Percy steamed away. He felt very proud. Later, Thomas saw Percy at the washdown.
  • Thomas: I'm sorry I called you Dirty Percy.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Thomas.
  • Thomas: You go first.
  • Percy: Thanks, Thomas. It feels good to be friends.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Percy.
  • Percy: But where is your mouse?
  • Thomas: You'll see.
  • Alec Baldwin: Grinned Thomas. That night was Alicia Botti's concert. Her voice carried across half the island. Sir Topham Hatt had made the little mouse her very own home in the corner of Tidmouth Sheds. And Thomas named her, Alicia.
  • Alicia: (squeaks)
  • (Another passing by sequence occurs and we begin Troublesome Trucks)
  • Children: (singing) The engines always think they are so clever, And so they like to bump the trucks around, They bump them in the sidings, they bump the in the yards. They better beware, they better take care, They better be on their guards. Because those Troublesome Trucks will get the engines every time. Troublesome Trucks will run the engines off the line. They push them here, push them there till they go too fast. Then they push them once again laughing while they crash. Troublesome Trucks will get the engines every time. Troublesome Trucks will run the engines off the line. They don't care how big they are to them it's just a game, Those Troublesome Trucks will get them all the same. Diesel thinks he is so very smart, Bumping all the trucks around the yard. He gets them all in line, then bumps them one more time, Now, he thinks that he's in charge. The trucks decide to play another joke, And Diesel's plans will all go up in smoke. He pulls and he pulls until he breaks the chain. On, on, on! He's off the rails again! Because those Troublesome Trucks will get the engines every time. Troublesome Trucks will run the engines off the line. They push them here, push them there till they go too fast. Then they push them once again laughing while they crash. Troublesome Trucks will get the engines every time. Troublesome Trucks will run the engines off the line. They don't care how big they are to them it's just a game. Those Troublesome Trucks will get them all the same. The engines all try hard to make this stand, Looking for a way to foil their plans. Nothing seems to work. It's just makes matters worse. Trucks are always on the hand. They find their time until they get their chance when noone is expecting it they pounce. They push and they push until it's all too late. On, on, on! The trucks have won again! Because those Troublesome Trucks will get the engines every time. Troublesome Trucks will run the engines off the line. They push them here, push them there till they go too fast. Then they push them once again laughing while they crash. Troublesome Trucks will get the engines every time. Troublesome Trucks will run the engines off the line. They don't care how big they are to them it's just a game. Those Troublesome Trucks will get them all the same. They don't care how big they are to them it's just a game. Those Troublesome Trucks will get them all the same.
  • (Another passing by sequence occurs and we begin Harvey To The Rescue)
  • Alec Baldwin: The engines on Sir Topham Hatt's Railway love brendam docks. There's always lots of work to keep them busy. And they enjoyed seeing new arrivals onto the Island of Sodor. An exciting new arrival was an engine Cranky the Crane was unloading. It was heavy.
  • Cranky: This makes my chain ache.
  • Alec Baldwin: Groaned Cranky.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: This is Harvey the Crane Engine.
  • Alec Baldwin: Sir Topham Hatt said proudly. The other engines thought Harvey look strange. Harvey was happy to be on the ground. He didn't like dangling from Cranky's arm at all.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: These gentlemen are The Railway Board.
  • Alec Baldwin: Sir Topham Hatt said.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Tomorrow, Harvey will give them a demonstration. If it goes well, he will join the railway.
  • Percy: What's a Dimurstation?
  • Thomas: Demonstration.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Thomas.
  • Thomas: Is when you show off what you can do.
  • Bertie: Like when Thomas and I have a race.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bertie.
  • Bertie: Vroom! Vroom!
  • Alec Baldwin: That evening, Thomas had just returned from a hard day's work. He saw Harvey parked near the sheds. Harvey could hear the other engines talking about him. This made him sad.
  • Henry: Harvey's different.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Henry.
  • Edward: He doesn't even look like an engine.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Edward.
  • Gordon: Surely Sir Topham Hatt won't let him pull coaches.
  • Alec Baldwin: Sniffed Gordon.
  • James: He's just Cranky On Wheels.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said James.
  • Percy: He's not taking my mail.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Percy. Thomas felt sorry for Harvey.
  • Thomas: Don't worry. Sometimes it takes time to make new friends.
  • Alec Baldwin: Harvey wasn't sure he wanted to stay when no one wanted him. The next morning, Sir Topham Hatt sent the engines off to a useful day's work.
  • Harvey: Maybe might coming here wasn't a good idea, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Harvey chuffed sadly.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Nonsene.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
  • Harvey: But the engines don't like me. I'm too different.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Different is what makes you special.
  • Alec Baldwin: And that made Harvey feel better. Out on the branch line, Percy was having trouble with the trucks.
  • Trucks: Faster we go, faster we go. Pull him along, don't let him slow.
  • Percy: Help!
  • Alec Baldwin: Cried Percy. His driver applied the brakes, but it was too late. He went off the rails at Bulgy's bridge. Luckily, no one was hurt. Bertie arrived and was pleased Percy was all right. But he was also very cross.
  • Bertie: You blocked the road!
  • Alec Baldwin: Bertie snapped. He was worried he wouldn't get the gentlemen of the railway board to the demonstration on time. When Sir Topham Hatt heard the news, he went straight to Harvey.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: I need you to rescue one of my engines.
  • Harvey: I'll do my best, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Harvey said bravely and he set off immediately. Harvey soon arrived and set to work. In no time, Percy was back on the tracks. The gentlemen of the railway board were very impressed.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: That was the demonstration of all. The gentlemen of the railway board have decided you shall join the railway.
  • Harvey: Oh, thank you, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Harvey said proudly. That night, Harvey heard the engines talking again. This time it was different.
  • Gordon: Well done, Harvey.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Gordon.
  • James: Very useful.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said James.
  • Percy: You can take my mail.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Percy.
  • Thomas: You see.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Thomas.
  • Thomas: Different can be good.
  • Alec Baldwin: All the engines agreed.
  • Engines: Welcome to the Sodor Railway!
  • Alec Baldwin: They called. Harvey smiled happily.
  • (Another passing by sequence occurs and we begin Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover)
  • Children: (singing) Thomas first saw Terence the Tractor plowing in a field one day and he said, "My oh my, you do look funny. Where are your wheels, are your wheels, are your wheels? How ever do you move along? You really do look funny." "Don't be so rude", said Terence the Tractor "I don't have wheels like you Because my caterpillar tracks are so much better. And I can go anywhere, anywhere, anywhere I don't need rails like you. One day I will prove it, show you how I do it Then you will understand... That you don't judge a book by its cover Don't make your mind up too soon Things aren't necessarily Always what they appear to be Don't judge a book by its cover Don't make your mind up too soon Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never Never judge a book by its cover Sure enough, one winter's day When the snow lay deep and hard Thomas got stuck, he was in trouble And who do you think came along, came along And rescued him that day The snow didn't matter to Terence the Tractor Now Thomas understands... That you don't judge a book by its cover Don't make your mind up too soon Things aren't necessarily Always what they appear to be Don't judge a book by its cover Don't make your mind up too soon Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never Never judge a book by its cover. Don't judge a book by its cover Don't make your mind up too soon Things aren't necessarily Always what they appear to be. Don't judge a book by its cover Just remember the rule Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never Never judge a book.... By its cover!
  • (Following the last song, we find the end credits with Thomas looking at us)
  • (While they roll, the Thomas end theme plays)
  • (After that, the 2001 HiT Entertainment logo appear)

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