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No Joke For James Transcript is Pikachufreak's idea.

Description

  • Here's the full transcript to No Joke For James.

Characters

  • Thomas
  • Henry
  • Gordon
  • James
  • Percy
  • Sir Topham Hatt
  • Jeremiah Jobling (not named)
  • Edward (cameo)

Transcript

  • George Carlin: James is a mixed traffic engine. He can pull both freight cars and coaches. He's proud of his smart red paint and so is his driver.
  • James' Driver: Everyone says you brighten up your day, James.
  • George Carlin: One morning, James whistled loudly at the other engines.
  • James: "Look at me! I'm a smartest most useful engine on the line!"
  • Thomas: "Rubbish."
  • George Carlin: Replied Thomas.
  • Thomas: "We're all useful. Sir Topham Hatt says so and he's headed the whole railway."
  • Percy: "You know what, James?"
  • George Carlin: Added Percy.
  • James: "What?"
  • George Carlin: Replied James.
  • Percy: "You're getting all puffed out."
  • George Carlin: James huffed away. Later, he was still boasting.
  • James: I'm the pride of the line.
  • Gordon: I saw you're pulling freight cars.
  • George Carlin: You're only a goods engine.
  • James: I've pull coaches too.
  • Gordon: Not as much as I do.
  • James: But Sir Topham Hatt has plans for me.
  • George Carlin: James was making this up but Gordon believe him.
  • Gordon: What plans?
  • James: Wait and see. Oh dear.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • James: Now what'll I do?
  • George Carlin: Thomas was shunting shiny new coaches.
  • Thomas: Good morning, James.
  • James: Are those coaches for me?
  • George Carlin: Asked James hopefully.
  • Thomas: No, these are for Gordon's Express. I'll fetch your freight cars next.
  • George Carlin: But James was going to play a trick on the other engines.
  • James: Actually, Thomas, I'm taking the coaches. Sir Topham Hatt ask me to tell you.
  • Thomas: What about the cars?
  • George Carlin: Asked Thomas.
  • James: Give them to Gordon.
  • Thomas' Driver: Come on, Thomas.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Thomas' Driver: Orders and orders.
  • George Carlin: So when James' driver returned, James was coupled to the coaches and he puffed away. Thomas returned with the freight cars. And a few minutes later, Gordon arrived.
  • Gordon: Where's the express?
  • George Carlin: Thomas told him about James.
  • Thomas: And so here are your cars.
  • George Carlin: Gordon was very cross and so his driver.
  • Gordon's Driver: Wait'll Sir Topham Hatt hears about this.
  • George Carlin: Meanwhile James was enjoying himself enormously.
  • James: What a clever plan! What a clever plan!
  • George Carlin: He chuffed. Then he saw Sir Topham Hatt.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Some jokes are funny, but not this one, James. You have caused confusion.
  • James: Yes Sir.
  • George Carlin: Said James.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: You will now stay in your shed until you are wanted.
  • George Carlin: The other engines teased James.
  • Gordon: I wonder who'd be pulling the express today?
  • George Carlin: Said Gordon.
  • Henry: I expect it'll be you.
  • George Carlin: Replied Henry.
  • Henry: James is stuck in the shed for being silly.
  • George Carlin: James felt sad. Next morning, he went back to work.
  • Thomas: Hello.
  • George Carlin: Whistled Thomas.
  • Thomas: Good to see you out and about again.
  • James: I'm sorry I tricked you.
  • George Carlin: Said James.
  • James: Are these my cars?
  • Thomas: Yes.
  • George Carlin: Replied Thomas kindly.
  • Thomas: They're please to have you back.
  • George Carlin: James set off to the harbour with a train of freight cars. He bustled about all day pushing and pulling them into place.
  • James' Driver: Time to go home now, James.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver at last.
  • James' Driver: No cars or passengers. Just we too.
  • George Carlin: But his driver was wrong.
  • Railway Inspector: Excuse me.
  • George Carlin: Said the man.
  • Railway Inspector: I have a meeting with Sir Topham Hatt and I mustn't be late. May I ride back with you?
  • James' Driver: Of course.
  • George Carlin: Replied James' driver. Then he whispered to James.
  • James' Driver: This gentleman is a railway inspector.
  • George Carlin: James was most impressed. He steamed along the line as smoothly and quickly as he could. Sir Topham Hatt was waiting on the platform and the railway inspector greeted him warmly.
  • Railway Inspector: This clever engine gave me a splendid ride. You must be proud of him.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Yes indeed. Once again, you are a really useful engine.

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