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Old Iron Transcript is Pikachufreak's idea.

Description

  • Here's the full transcript to Old Iron.

Characters

  • Thomas
  • Edward
  • James
  • Percy
  • Sir Topham Hatt
  • The Naughty Boys (do not speak)
  • Henry (cameo)
  • Gordon (cameo)
  • Stephen Hatt (cameo)
  • Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)

Transcript

Ringo Starr US version

  • Ringo Starr: One day, James have to wait at the station till Edward and his train came in. This made him cross.
  • James: Late again!
  • Ringo Starr: Edward laughed and James fumed again. After James had finished his work, he went back to the yard, and puffed on to the turntable. He was still feeling very bad tempered.
  • James: Edward is impossible!
  • Ringo Starr: He grumbled to the others.
  • James: He clanks about like a lot of "old iron" and he is so slow, he makes us wait!
  • Ringo Starr: Thomas and Percy were indigent.
  • Percy: Old iron!? Slow!?
  • Thomas: Why, Edward could beat you in a race any day!
  • James: Really?!
  • Ringo Starr: Said James.
  • James: I should like to see him do it.
  • Ringo Starr: Next morning, James' driver was suddenly taking ill. He could hardly stand, so the fireman uncoupled James ready for shunting. James was impatient. Suddenly, the signalman shouted. There was James puffing away down the line.
  • Signalman: All traffic halted!
  • Ringo Starr: He announced at last. Then he told the fireman what had happened.
  • Signalman: 2 boys were on James' footplate fiddling with the controls.
  • Fireman: Whew.
  • Signalman: They tumbled off and ran when James started.
  • (Phone rings)
  • Ringo Starr: The signalman answered the telephone.
  • Signalman: Yes? He's here? Right, I'll tell him. The inspector's coming at once. He wants a shunter's pole and a coil of wire rope.
  • Fireman: What for?
  • Ringo Starr: Wondered the fireman.
  • Signalman: Search me, but you better get them quickly.
  • Ringo Starr: The fireman was ready when Edward arrived. The inspector saw the pole and a rope.
  • Inspector: Good man, jump in.
  • Edward: We'll catch him, we'll catch him.
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Edward. James was laughing.
  • James: What a lark! What a lark!
  • Ringo Starr: He chuckled to himself. Suddenly, he was going faster and faster. He realized that he had no driver.
  • James: What shall I do? I can't stop! Help! Help!
  • Edward: We're coming, we're coming!
  • Ringo Starr: Called Edward. Edward was panting up behind with every ounce of steam he had. At last, he caught up with James.
  • Edward's Driver: Steady, Edward.
  • Ringo Starr: Called his driver. The inspector stood on Edward's front holding a noose of rope in the crook of the shunter's pole. He was trying to slip it over James' buffer. The engines swayed and lurched. At last...
  • Inspector: Got him!
  • Ringo Starr: He shouted. He pulled the noose tight. Gently braking, Edward's driver checked the engines' speed, and James' fireman scrambled across and took control.
  • Edward: So the "old iron" caught you after all.
  • Ringo Starr: Chuckled Edward.
  • James: I'm sorry.
  • Ringo Starr: Whispered James.
  • James: Thank you for saving me. You were splendid, Edward.
  • Edward: That's all right.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Edward. The engines arrived at the station side by side. Sir Topham Hatt was waiting.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: A fine piece of work.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: James, you can rest, and then take your train. I'm proud of you, Edward. You shall go to the works and have your worn parts mended.
  • Edward: Oh, thank you, Sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Edward.
  • Edward: It'll be lovely not to clank.

George Carlin version

  • George Carlin: One day, James have to wait at the station till Edward and his train came in. This made him cross.
  • James: Late again!
  • George Carlin: Edward laughed and James fumed again. After James had finished his work, he went back to the yard, and puffed on to the turntable. He was still feeling very bad tempered.
  • James: Edward is impossible!
  • George Carlin: He grumbled to the others.
  • James: He clanks about like a lot of "old iron" and he is so slow, he makes us wait!
  • George Carlin: Thomas and Percy were indigent.
  • Percy: Old iron!? Slow!?
  • Thomas: Why, Edward could beat you in a race any day!
  • James: Really?!
  • George Carlin: Said James.
  • James: I should like to see him do it.
  • George Carlin: Next morning, James' driver was suddenly taking ill. He could hardly stand, so the fireman uncoupled James ready for shunting. James was impatient. Suddenly, the signalman shouted. There was James puffing away down the line.
  • Signalman: All traffic halted!
  • George Carlin: Called the signalman. Then he told the fireman what had happened.
  • Signalman: 2 boys were on James' footplate fiddling with the controls.
  • Fireman: Whew.
  • Signalman: They tumbled off and ran when James started.
  • (Phone rings)
  • George Carlin: The signalman answered the telephone.
  • Signalman: Yes? He's here? Right, I'll tell him. The inspector's coming at once. He wants a shunter's pole and a coil of wire rope.
  • Fireman: What for?
  • George Carlin: Wondered the fireman.
  • Signalman: Search me, but you better get them quickly.
  • George Carlin: The fireman was ready when Edward arrived. The inspector saw the pole and a rope.
  • Inspector: Good man, jump in.
  • Edward: We'll catch him, we'll catch him.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Edward. James was laughing.
  • James: What a lark! What a lark!
  • George Carlin: He chuckled to himself. Suddenly, he was going faster and faster. He realized that he had no driver.
  • James: What shall I do? I can't stop! Help! Help!
  • Edward: We're coming, we're coming!
  • George Carlin: Called Edward. Edward was panting up behind with every ounce of steam he had. At last, he caught up with James.
  • Edward's Driver: Steady, Edward.
  • George Carlin: Called his driver. The inspector stood on Edward's front holding a noose of rope in the crook of the shunter's pole. He was trying to slip it over James' buffer. The engines swayed and lurched. At last...
  • Inspector: Got him!
  • George Carlin: He shouted. He pulled the noose tight. Gently braking, Edward's driver checked the engines' speed, and James' fireman scrambled across and took control.
  • Edward: So the "old iron" caught you after all.
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Edward.
  • James: I'm sorry.
  • George Carlin: Whispered James.
  • James: Thank you for saving me. You were splendid, Edward.
  • Edward: That's all right.
  • George Carlin: Replied Edward. The engines arrived at the station side by side. Sir Topham Hatt was waiting.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: A fine piece of work.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: James, you can rest, and then take your train. I'm proud of you, Edward. You shall go to the works and have your worn parts mended.
  • Edward: Oh, thank you, Sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Edward.
  • Edward: It'll be lovely not to clank.

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