Old Reliable Shining Armor is the first episode of the eighteenth season of Spike the Dragon and Friends, and the four hundred and fifteenth episode overall. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode, Old Reliable Edward.
- Spike as Thomas
- Shining Armor as Edward
- Filthy Rich as Henry
- Big Macintosh as Gordon
- Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
- Pipsqueak as Percy
- Rarity as Emily
- Apple Bloom as Annie
- Sweetie Belle as Clarabel
- Braeburn as Toby (cameo)
- Cheese Sandwich as Salty (cameo)
- Hoity Toity Sir Topham Hatt (mentioned)
- Everyone else as Themselves
Narrator: "Shining Armor is one of the older unicorns in Ponyville. He is a mixed-traffic unicorn, which means sometimes he takes buffaloes, and sometimes he takes changelings.
He's not the smallest animal, but he's not the big either. Some of the bigger animals like to tease Shining Armor, especially Big Macintosh."
Big Macintosh: "It's a shame you're such an old unicorn, Shining Armor. You're not very reliable."
Shining Armor: "What do you mean?"
Big Macintosh: "You know, getting injured all the time."
Shining Armor: "I haven't been injured in ages."
Big Macintosh: "Oh, really?"
Narrator: "Hoity Toity knows that Shining Armor is a really useful unicorn. And that is why he's given him is own route; the route that runs to the Crystal Empire.
One day, Big Mac was taking the express buffaloes up Big Mac's Hill, when he thought he saw a red flag blowing beside the path."
Big Macintosh: "Oh no. That's a danger signal. I'd better stop.
That's not a danger signal, those are red..."
Narrator: "It was a pair of pants that had blown off a washing line.
Then there was trouble. Big Mac couldn't start up again on the steep hill with his long heavy express buffaloes."
Big Macintosh: "Oh."
Narrator: "Shining Armor had just arrived at Sugar Cube Corner when the stationmaster stopped him."
Stationmaster: "Big Mac is stuck on his hill. He needs a banker animal to give him push."
Shining Armor: "Not again. And he says I'm the one that's unreliable. Honestly."
Narrator: "Big Mac was waiting very impatiently for Shining Armor when Rarity came along."
Rarity: "Having a rest, are you, Big Mac?"
Big Macintosh: "I wish Shining Armor would get here and give me a push before anymore animals see me."
Spike: "Oh dear, Big Mac." (Laughs) "I see you got stuck on your hill again."
Big Macintosh: "It wasn't my fault, Spike. There were some red pants by the path, and they looked like a danger signal."
Spike: "Red pants? Danger signal?"
Spike, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: (Laugh)
Big Macintosh: "Humph!"
Narrator: "By the time Shining Armor arrived, Big Mac was rather cross."
Big Macintosh: "You took your time, Shining Armor! You're so old and slow, I'm surprise Hoity Toity keeps you on!"
Spike: "You're not moving very quickly yourself, Big Mac."
Narrator: "Big Mac was still fuming as Shining Armor pushed him up the hill."
Shining Armor: (Grunting)
Big Macintosh: "Express coming through!"
Shining Armor: "Aren't you even gonna say 'thank you'?
Why is Big Mac so ungrateful? He doesn't even say 'thank you' when I give him a push. He only says how old and unreliable I am."
Spike: "Maybe it's time we taught that big horse a lesson."
Narrator: "That night, in the library, Spike and the other animals were teasing Big Mac about what had happened."
Spike: "And, the only reason he stopped was because he saw some red pants."
Filthy Rich, Pipsqueak, Rarity and Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Laugh)
Shining Armor: "Big Macintosh claims to be fast and reliable, but he still needed my help to get over the hill."
Big Macintosh: "I didn't really need your help, Shining Armor. You just happened to be there. That's all. I'm very reliable and exceedingly fast."
Spike: "Is that so? I'd like to see you go faster than me."
Filthy Rich, Pipsqueak, Rarity and Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Gasp)
Big Macintosh: (Laughs) "Go faster than you? Don't be silly, Spike. That's too easy."
Spike: "Very well. You just try and follow me tomorrow morning."
Big Macintosh: "No problem at all. I'll even give you a 10 minute head start."
Narrator: "The other animals thought Spike was being very silly if you thought he could go faster than Big Mac.
The next morning, Spike met Big Mac at the town hall as agreed."
Spike: "Ready, Big Mac?"
Big Macintosh: "You'd better get going, Spike. I did promise you a 10 minute head start, remember?"
Spike: (Laughs) "I remember."
Apple Bloom: "I do hope you know what you're doing, Spike."
Sweetie Belle: "We don't want to look silly."
Spike: "Don't worry. Everything is under control." (Laugh)
Narrator: "Spike was out ahead on the main path, but he knew Big Mac was going to catch up soon."
Sweetie Belle: "Spike, I can see Big Mac behind us. He's going to pass us."
Spike: "We'll see about that."
(Spike changes paths)
Big Mac: "Pull onto the other path, Spike. Express coming through!"
Spike: "Oh no! That's not what we agreed, Big Mac. You said you'd follow me across the town."
Big Macintosh: "Follow you? But, but... Oh! Can't you go any faster?"
Narrator: "Spike could go faster, but he didn't.
And when they got to Big Macintosh's Hill, Spike started to go even slower."
Big Macintosh: "Speed up, Spike! Speed up! I don't want to get stuck again."
Narrator: "But Spike didn't speed up. He went slower, and slower until..."
Big Macintosh: "No! I'm stuck again!"
Spike: (Laughs) "It looks like I'm going faster than you after all." (Chuckles)
Big Macintosh: "Ohhh!"
Shining Armor: "Hello, Big Mac. Have you given up following Spike already?"
Big Macintosh: "Spike tricked me, Shining Armor. He went too slow."
Shining Armor: "Oh dear. But I must say, you don't seem very reliable always getting stuck on your own hill."
Big Macintosh: "Wait! Shining Armor! You need to give me a push."
Shining Armor: "Oh! But I thought you didn't need any help from me. After all, I'm so old and unreliable."
Big Macintosh: "But I do need your help. I promise not to call you old or unreliable anymore. Please!"
Shining Armor: "Okay, Big Mac. I think you've learned your lesson now.
And what do you say?"
Big Macintosh: "Oh, the indignity."
Shining Armor: "Sorry?"
Big Macintosh: "I mean thank you. Thank you, Shining Armor!"
Shining Armor: "You're welcome, Big Mac. Anytime."