A list of quotes from Animaniacs/South Park.
Studio Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
Did you say the f word
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: Okay, maniac, let's start the day with a few new math problems. What is five times two? Come on children, don't be shy. Just give it your best shot. [Clyde raises his hand] Yes, Clyde?
Hamton J. Pig: Twelve?
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: Okay. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard. Anyone? Come on, don't be shy.
Wakko: I think I know the answer, Dr. Otto.
Pesto: [mocking Kyle in high-pitched, gibberish voice]
Wakko: Shut up, fat bird!
Pesto: Hey! Don't call me fat, ya fucking Jew!
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: Pesto! Did you just say the F-word?
Wakko: No, he's talking about "fuck." You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass.
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: Wakko!
Pesto: Why the fuck not?
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: Pesto!
Yakko: Dude, you just said fuck again!
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: Yakko!
Buttons: [muffled] Fuck.
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: Buttons!
Pesto: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody! Fuck, fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck!
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: How would you like to go the principal's office?
Pesto: How would you like to suck my balls?
Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff: [enraged] WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!
Pesto: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was: [picks up a megaphone] "How would you like to suck my balls, Dr. Otto?"
[Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff stands rooted to the spot, frozen with fury]
Yakko: Holy shit, dude.
Daffy Has Aides
Pesto Covers For Skippy
Pesto: [the phone rings; he answers] Well hello?
The Brain: [at an office full of cubicles] I'm just checking in on you, Butters. [a woman walks down the aisle behind him] Heh- Do I hear the television? We told you no television while you're grounded!
Pesto: Oh, gee whiz, I'm not.. uh watchin' television, Dad, I'm just... layin' around jackin' it.
The Brain: Jacking it? Jacking what?
Pesto: Well my hot spicy boner, of course, Dad.
The Brain: What?! Are you trying to get yourself in more trouble with that kind of language?!
Pesto: Well ah, loosen up, you bloody vaginal belch.
The Brain: Oh! You are gonna get it, mister! You just wait till I get home!
Pesto: Bring it on, queer bait. [hangs up]
Pesto: [answering] Hello?
Slappy Squirrel: [calling in from her office] Skippy, your father called and said you made him very upset!
Pesto: Yeah, well, Dad's being a little pussy, Mom.
Slappy Squirrel: [stunned, then] Skippy, where did you get that kind of smart mouth?!
Pesto: Uh not from you dumbasses, that's for sure.
Slappy Squirrel: Oh, you just wait till I get home, mister!
Pesto: Oh, I'll be waiting with horse bells on, you old... horse-bangin' skank. [hangs up]
Pesto: There you are, Skippy!
Skippy Squirrel: nervous] Wuh-are my... mom and dad back home yet?
Pesto: No, but they're due home any minute. Come on, you're just in time!
Skippy Squirrel: Hoh boy! Mom and Dad didn't... find out I... left the house, did they?
Pesto: No, I totally covered for you. They completely believed I was you on the phone!
Skippy Squirrel: Hu-oh! Goody!
Pesto: Here you go. [hands Skippy some drawings] I drew some pictures with crayons so it looks like you were here all day. And I ate a little food so it looks like you ate, and I fed your cat.
Skippy Squirrel: Uh- perfect.
Pesto: Alright I'd better get out of here before they get back. [makes his way to the door]
Skippy Squirrel: Uh hey, uh Pesto? [Cartman turns around] Uh- thanks for coverin' for me. You're a real pal.
Pesto: Skippy, it was my pleasure. [pulls out his mittens and opens the door, then puts them on. He heads for the sidewalk humming a late night theme song, then turns around to frame the house with his fingers, then walks away]
Skippy Squirrel: Hi, Mom and Dad!
The Brain: Don't you "Hi, Mom and Dad!" us, you little punk! [punch]
Skippy Squirrel: Ow! Dad?
Slappy Squirrel: You don't even know the trouble you're in, mister!! [punch]
Skippy Squirrel: Ah! What did I do?! What did I do?!
The Brain: You think you're tough now? Answer me!! [a belt is heard coming off and whipping Butters]