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RS Mr. Conductor, Bart and the Dragon and Other Stories is a TV/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends US video, Thomas, Percy and the Dragon and Other Stories. It features four second season episodes and three third season episodes of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends narrated by George Carlin.

Cast

  • RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
  • Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
  • Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
  • Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon
  • Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
  • Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
  • Grandpa Dave (from Arthur) as Toby
  • Spike (from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) as Duck
  • Mario (from Mario) as Donald
  • Luigi (from Mario) as Douglas
  • Tex (from Shining Time Station) as Bill
  • Rex (from Shining Time Station) as Ben
  • Roger Baxter (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as BoCo
  • Elliot (from Pete's Dragon) as The Chinese Dragon
  • Ernie the Giant Chicken (from Family Guy) as The Spiteful Breakvan
  • The Flowers (from Alice in Wonderland) as The Coaches
  • Goombas (from Mario) as The Troublesome Trucks
  • Lanolin (from Garfield) as Henrietta (does not speak)
  • Ten Cents (from TUGS) as Bertie (does not speak)
  • Carol (from Family Guy) as Lady Hatt (does not speak)
  • Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) as Diesel (cameo)
  • Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie (cameo)
  • Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel (cameo)
  • Phil (from Rugrats) as Stephen Hatt (cameo)
  • Lil (from Rugrats) as Bridget Hatt (cameo)
  • Mrs. Twombly (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
  • Eustace (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Jeremiah Jobling (cameo)
  • Lazy Luke (from Wacky Races) as Jem Cole (cameo)
  • Sedusa (from The Powerpuff Girls) as The Stationmaster's Wife (cameo)
  • Orson (from Garfield/US Acres) as Farmer Trotter (cameo)
  • Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

  1. RS Mr. Conductor, Bart and the Dragon
  2. Mario and Luigi
  3. The Deputation
  4. Time for Trouble
  5. A Scarf for Bart
  6. The Mansel
  7. Edd's Exploit

Transcript

RS Mr. Conductor, Bart and the Dragon

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor and Bart are good friends, but sometimes Bart teases RS Mr. Conductor about being frightened and he doesn't like that at all.

One evening he was dozing happily, but Bart wanted to talk."

Bart: "Wake up, RS Mr. Conductor. Are you dreaming about the time you thought I was a ghost?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Certainly not. Anyway I was only pretending to be scared. I knew it was you really."

Narrator: "Bart went on teasing him."

Bart: "I hope the guard leaves the light on for you tonight."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Why?"

Narrator: "Asked RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I quite like the dark."

Bart: "Oh really?"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Bart."

Bart: "I am surprised. I always thought you were afraid of the dark. I wonder why?"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor decided to say nothing and went to sleep instead.

Next day, Mayor Adam West arrived."

Mayor Adam West: "I would like you to go to the harbor tonight. You have to collect something rather unusual."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What sort of something?"

Narrator: "Asked RS Mr. Conductor."

Mayor Adam West: "Wait and see."

Narrator: "Replied Mayor West.

Meanwhile, Bart was moving some goombas into a siding. Homer arrived with his goombas. The signalman changed the switches and Bart waited on the siding until Homer had gone by.

Then, there was trouble."

Signalman: "The switches are jammed."

Narrator: "Called the signalman."

Signalman: "I can't switch them back for Bart. The workmen will mend them in the morning. It's too late now."

Bart's Driver: "Hmmm."

Narrator: "Said Bart's driver."

Bart's Driver: "I'm sorry, Bart. But you will have to stay here for the night."

Bart: "Where are you going?"

Narrator: "Asked Bart."

Bart's Fireman: "Home for tea."

Narrator: "Replied the fireman. Bart was speechless.

He watched as the other TV characters went home.

Nighttime came and Bart began to feel very lonely."

Bart: "Oh dear."

Narrator: "He murmured."

Bart: "It's very dark."

(Owls hoots)

Bart: "OH! OH! What's that?!"

Narrator: "It was only an owl, but Bart didn't realize."

Bart: "Oh, I wish RS Mr. Conductor were here too."

Narrator: "He sighed.

RS Mr. Conductor was waiting for his mysterious load at the harbour. Suddenly, there is was."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Gold dust and whistles!"

Narrator: "Cried RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "It's a dragon!"

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "Laughed his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "This dragon is really friendly. He's for the carnival tomorrow."

Narrator: "Workmen lifted the dragon onto RS Mr. Conductor's wagon and put lights all around it for protection. Then, RS Mr. Conductor set off into the misty night.

Bart was asleep on his siding and had no idea that RS Mr. Conductor was approaching him.

Bart woke up with a start."

Bart: "Help!"

Narrator: "Cried Bart."

Bart: "I'm not going to open my eyes until my driver comes."

Narrator: "Next morning the switches were mended and Bart puffed back to the junction. Garfield was just about to leave with his flowers."

Bart: "You'll never guess what I saw last night."

Narrator: "Garfield was in no mood for puzzles."

Garfield: "I'm a busy cat. I don't have time for your games."

Bart: "I've seen a huge dragon. It was covered in lights."

Narrator: "Garfield snorted."

Garfield: "You've been in the sun too long. Your head has cracked."

Narrator: "When the other TV characters heard the news, they laughed too."

Schemer: "Look out, Bart!"

Narrator: "Chuckled Schemer."

Schemer: "Or the dragon may gobble you up!"

Bart: "No one believes me."

Narrator: "Huffed Bart."

Bart: "Maybe I did imagine the dragon after all."

Narrator: "But Bart soon found out that he hadn't."

Bart: "Help! Save me!"

Narrator: "Cried Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "It's alright."

Narrator: "Whistled RS Mr. Conductor. And he explained about the carnival."

RS Mr. Conductor: "By the way, how was your night out?"

Narrator: "Bart decided to tell RS Mr. Conductor the truth."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Well, Bart."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Maybe we do get scared sometimes, but if we're not afraid to tell each other, then that means we're quite brave too."

Mario and Luigi

Narrator: "Mario and Luigi are brothers, and have arrived from the Mushroom Kingdom to help Mayor Adam West, but only one plumber had been expected. The brothers meant well, but did cause confusion. Mayor West had given them numbers; Mario 9, and Luigi 10, but he was still planning to send one plumber home.

There was a giant chicken named Ernie in the yard that had taken a dislike to Luigi. Things always went wrong when he had to take him out. His work was late, and he was blamed. Luigi began to worry.

Mario, his brother, was angry."

Mario: "You're a muckle nuisance!"

Narrator: "Said Mario."

Mario: "It's to leave you behind I'd be wanting!"

Ernie: "You can't."

Narrator: "Said Ernie."

Ernie: "I'm essential."

Mario: "Ach! Are you?"

Narrator: "Mario burst out."

Mario: "You're nothing but a screechin' and a noise when all's said and done. Spite Luigi, would you? Take that!"

Ernie: "Ow! Oh!"

Narrator: "Cried Ernie."

Mario: "There's more coming, should you misbehave."

Narrator: "Ernie behaved better after that. Until one day, Mario had an accident.

The road was slippery. He couldn't stop in time."

(CRASH!)

"Mario wasn't hurt, but Mayor West was most annoyed."

Mayor Adam West: "I am disappointed, Mario. I didn't expect such, um... clumsiness from you.

I have decided to send Luigi back and keep you."

Mario: "I'm sorry, sir."

Narrator: "Said Mario."

Mayor Adam West: "I should think so, too. You have upset my arrangements. Now Schemer will have to help with the goods work, while you are mended. Schemer won't like that."

Narrator: "Mayor West was right. Schemer grumbled dreadfully about extra work."

Luigi: "Anyone would think,"

Narrator: "Said Luigi."

Luigi: "That Mario had his accident on purpose.

I heard tell about a man and some tar barrels."

Schemer: "Shut up!"

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "It's not funny!"

Narrator: "He didn't like to be reminded of his own accident."

Luigi: "Well, well, well. Surely, Schemer, it wasn't you. You didn't say!"

Narrator: "Schemer didn't say. He slouched sulkily away."

Ernie: "Schemer is cross."

Narrator: "Snickered Ernie."

Ernie: "We'll try to make him crosser still."

Goombas: "Hold back!"

Narrator: "Giggled the goombas to each other.

Schemer did his best, but he was exhausted when they reached Edd's station.

Luckily, Luigi was there."

Schemer: "Help me up the hill, please."

Narrator: "Panted Schemer."

Schemer: "These goombas are playing tricks."

Luigi: "We'll show them!"

Narrator: "Said Luigi.

Slowly but surely, the snorting TV Characters forced the goombas up the hill, but Schemer was losing strength."

Schemer: "I can't do it! I can't do it!"

Luigi: "Leave it to me!"

Narrator: "Shouted Luigi.

The conductor was anxious."

Conductor: "Go steady! Ernie's breaking!"

Narrator: "Ernie was in pieces.

No one had been hurt, and soon Edd came to clear the mess. Mayor West was on board."

Mayor Adam West: "I might have known it would be Luigi!"

Narrator: "He said."

Edd: "Luigi was grand, sir."

Narrator: "Said Edd."

Edd: "Schemer had no strength left, but Luigi worked hard enough for three. I heard him from my yard."

Mayor Adam West: "Two would have been enough."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "I want to be fair, Luigi, but I don't know. I really don't know."

Narrator: "Mayor West was making up his mind about which plumber to send away. But that's another story."

The Deputation

Narrator: "Snow came early to TV Land. It was heavier than usual. Most TV Characters hate snow. Mario and Luigi were used to it. Back to back, with a trailer behind them and a shovel for each of them, they set to work. They puffed backwards and forwards, patrolling the paths.

Generally, the snow slipped away easily, but sometimes they found deeper drifts.

Presently, they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing for another try, when..."

Homer: "Help, help!"

Luigi: "Lorsh sakes, Mario! It's Homer!

Don't worry yourself, Homer! Wait a while, we'll have you out!"

Narrator: "Homer was very grateful. He saw all was not well. The brother were looking glum. They told him Mayor Adam West was making a decision."

Mario and Luigi: "He'll send us away for sure!"

Bart: "It's a shame!"

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Garfield: "A lot of nonsense about a broken signal box."

Narrator: "Grumbled Garfield."

Schemer: "That Ernie the Giant Chicken, too."

Narrator: "Put in Schemer."

Schemer: "Good riddance! That's what I say."

Homer: "The brothers were splendid in the snow."

Narrator: "Added Homer."

Homer: "It isn't fair!"

Narrator: "They all agreed that something must be done, but none knew what.

Bart decided to talk to Edd about it."

Edd: "What you need,"

Narrator: "Said Edd,"

Edd: "Is a deputation."

Narrator: "He explained what that was.

Bart ran back quickly."

Bart: "Edd says we need... a, a depot station!"

Garfield: "Of course."

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "The question is.."

Homer: "What is a... desperation?"

Narrator: "Asked Homer."

Bart: "It's when TV Characters tell Mayor West something's wrong."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Spike: "Did you say 'Tell Mayor West?'"

Narrator: "Asked Spike thoughtfully.

There was a long silence."

Garfield: "I propose,"

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "That Bart be our... um... disputation."

Bart: "Me?!"

Narrator: "Squeaked Bart."

Bart: "I can't!"

Homer: "Rubbish, Bart!"

Narrator: "Said Homer."

Homer: "It's easy.

Garfield: "That's settled, then."

Narrator: "Said Garfield.

Poor Bart wished it wasn't."

Mayor Adam West: "Hello, Bart. It's nice to be back."

Narrator: "Bart jumped."

Bart: "Uh, uh, yes sir, yes sir, please sir."

Mayor Adam West: "You look nervous, Bart. What's the matter?"

Bart: "Please sir, uh, they've made me a desperation, sir. To speak to you, sir. I don't like it, sir."

Narrator: "Mayor West pondered."

Mayor Adam West: "Do you mean a deputation, Bart?"

Bart: "Yes, sir, please, sir. It's Mario and Luigi. They say, sir, that if you send them away, sir, well, they'll be killed, sir. That would be dreadful, sir. Uh, please, sir, don't send them away."

Mayor Adam West: "Thank you, Bart. That will do."

Narrator: "Later, Mayor West spoke to the TV Characters."

Mayor Adam West: "I've had a... deputation. I understand your feelings and I've given a lot of thought to the matter."

Narrator: "He paused impressively."

Mayor Adam West: "Mario and Luigi, I hear that your work in the snow was good. You shall each have some new clothes."

Narrator: "The brothers were surprised."

Mario and Luigi: "Thank you, sir."

Mayor Adam West: "But your clothes will have your names printed on them. We'll have no more mistakes."

Mario and Luigi: "Thank you, sir. Does this mean that the both of us..."

Narrator: "Mayor West smiled."

Mayor Adam West: "It means..."

Narrator: "But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles."

(All the TV Characters cheer and whistle)

Narrator: "The brothers were here to stay."

Time for Trouble

Narrator: "TV Land had many visitors, and Mayor Adam West had scheduled more lines of flowers. Garfield, the proud cat, had to work harder than ever before."

Garfield: "Come on!"

Narrator: "He called to the flowers."

Garfield: "Come on, come on, come on! The passengers rely on me to be on time."

Narrator: "Whenever Garfield finished one journey, it was time for another to begin."

Garfield: "Never mind."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Garfield: "I like a long run to stretch my legs."

Narrator: "Even so, Mayor West decided that Garfield needed a rest."

Mayor Adam West: "Schemer shall do your work."

Narrator: "He said kindly.

Schemer was delighted. He liked to show off his clothes and was determined to be as fast as Garfield."

Schemer: "You know, little Grandpa Dave."

Narrator: "He boasted."

Schemer: "I'm an important man; everyone knows it. I'm as regular as clockwork. Never late, always on time. That's me!"

Grandpa Dave: "Says you."

Narrator: "Replied Grandpa Dave. Just then Mayor West arrived."

Mayor Adam West: "Your parts are worn, Grandpa Dave. So you must go to the hospital to get better."

Grandpa Dave: "Can I take Lanolin, sir?"

Mayor Adam West: "No. What would the passengers do without her?"

Narrator: "Grandpa Dave saw Bart by the water fountain."

Bart: "Don't worry, Grandpa Dave. I'll take care of Lanolin until you get back."

Narrator: "Soon Grandpa Dave was out on the main road. He clanked as he walked again. He's an old man with small feet. His body didn't hold much water. He had come a long way and began to feel thirsty. In the distance was a signal."

Grandpa Dave: "Good."

Narrator: "He thought."

Grandpa Dave: "There's a station ahead. I can have a nice drink and a rest until Schemer has passed."

Narrator: "Grandpa Dave was enjoying his drink when the signalman came up. He had never seen Grandpa Dave before. Grandpa Dave's driver tried to explain, but the new signalman wouldn't listen."

Signalman: "We must clear the path for Schemer with the express. You'll have to get more water at the next station."

Narrator: "Hurrying used a lot of water, and his body was soon empty. Poor Grandpa Dave was out of strength and stranded on the main road."

Grandpa Dave's Fireman: "We must warn Schemer."

Narrator: "Said the fireman. Then he saw Bart and Lanolin."

Grandpa Dave's Fireman: "Please, take me back to the station. It's an emergency."

Narrator: "Lanolin hated leaving Grandpa Dave."

Bart: "Never mind."

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Bart: "You're taking the fireman to warn Schemer, that's a big help."

Narrator: "Lanolin felt much better. Schemer was fuming when he heard the news."

Schemer: "I'm going to be late."

Signalman: "My fault."

Narrator: "Said the signalman."

Signalman: "I didn't understand about Grandpa Dave."

Schemer's Driver: "Now, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Schemer's Driver: "You'll have to push Grandpa Dave."

Schemer: "What, me?"

Narrator: "Snorted Schemer."

Schemer: "Me, push Grandpa Dave and pull my flowers too?"

Narrator: "Grumbling dreadfully, Schemer set off to find Grandpa Dave. He came up behind Grandpa Dave and gave him a bump."

Schemer: "Get on, you!"

Narrator: "Schemer had to work very hard. When he reached the hospital station, he felt exhausted. Some children were on the platform."

Boy: "Coo, the express is late and it's got two TV Characters. I think Schemer couldn't pull it on his own, so Grandpa Dave had to help him."

Grandpa Dave: "Never mind, Schemer."

Narrator: "Whispered Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "They're only joking."

Schemer: "Hah!"

Narrator: "Said Schemer. Grandpa Dave just smiled."

A Scarf for Bart

Narrator: "It was a cold winter's morning in TV Land. The wind was bitter and the ground hard with frost. RS Mr. Conductor and Bart were cold and cross."

RS Mr. Conductor: "All I want is a warm body."

Narrator: "Huffed RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Firelighter knows that. He's late."

Bart: "He's not late."

Narrator: "Replied Bart."

Bart: "This cold weather woke us up early."

Narrator: "Gusts of wind swirled round the house, tossing flakes of snow towards RS Mr. Conductor. Then they swooshed around Bart too."

Bart: "Why don't we talk about something else?"

Narrator: "Shivered Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Yes."

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Like how silly we'll look when you heads turn into icicles."

Bart: "That's not funny. Maybe we'll stop feeling cold if we talk about warm things, like sunshine and steam."

RS Mr. Conductor: "And firelighters."

Narrator: "Muttered RS Mr. Conductor."

Bart: "Scarves!"

Narrator: "Continued Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Scarves."

Narrator: "Laughed RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "That's what you need, Bart. A woolly scarf round your neck."

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor was only teasing. But Bart thought happily about scarves until the firelighter came.

Mayor Adam West was enjoying hot porridge for breakfast. He was looking forward to taking important visitors on a tour of the land and had pressed his special trousers."

Mayor Adam West: "I shall put them in my trunk.

Narrator: "Mayor West said to his Carol."

Mayor Adam West: "And change into them just before the photographs are taken."

Narrator: "Then he set off to catch his ride.

Bart was now working hard. His body was warm, and he had plenty of strength, but he still thought about scarves. He saw them everywhere he went."

Bart: "My neck's cold, my neck's cold."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Bart: "I want a scarf, I want a scarf."

Homer: "Rubbish, Bart."

Narrator: "Said Homer."

Homer: "TV Characters don't wear scarves."

Bart: "TV Characters with proper necks do."

Narrator: "Replied Bart."

Bart: "Your neck is too big."

Narrator: "Before Homer could answer, Bart puffed away. Homer snorted. He was looking forward to taking the special visitors.

It was time for the photographs. Everyone was excited. Mayor West was waiting on the platform for his trousers. They were in a trunk amongst a big load of baggage. The porters were taking the baggage trolley across the line. They were walking backwards to see that nothing fell off.

Bart was still being cheeky. His driver always shut off steam just outside the station. Bart wanted to surprise the flowers by coming in as quietly as he could.

But the porters didn't here him either. Bart gave them such a fright that boxes and bags burst everywhere."

Bart: "Oh!"

Narrator: "Groaned Bart.

Sticky streams of jam trickled down Bart's face. A hat fell on his foot. Worst of all, a pair of trousers coiled lovingly round his neck.

Everyone was a very angry. Mayor West seized the top hat."

Mayor Adam West: "Mine!"

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "Bart, look at this!"

Bart: "Yes sir. I am sir."

Mayor Adam West: "My best trousers too!"

Bart: "Yes sir. Please sir."

Mayor Adam West: "We must pay the passengers for their spoiled clothes, and my trousers are ruined. I hope this will teach you not to play tricks with the flowers."

Narrator: "Bart went off to the yard. He felt very silly. On the way, he met Schemer."

Schemer: "Hello, Bart. So you found a scarf, eh? But legs go in trousers, not necks!"

Narrator: "And he puffed off to tell Homer the news.

That evening, RS Mr. Conductor and Bart were resting in the house. Bart's driver had taken away the trousers and given Bart a good rubdown."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Firelighter's promised to come early tomorrow."

Narrator "Said RS Mr. Conductor. Homer arrived. He'd enjoyed taking the visitors around and now he felt sorry for Bart too."

Homer: "Driver says the weather will be warmer tomorrow. You won't need a scarf, Bart."

Bart: "Certainly not."

Narrator: "Replied Bart."

Bart: "TV Characters don't need scarves. TV Characters need warm bodies. Everyone knows that!"

The Mansel

Narrator: "Tex and Rex are cowboy twins. Each has a hat, a red outfit and white shoes. Their goombas help them deliver china clay. It is needed for pottery, paper, paint and many other things.

The twins are now kept busy, taking the goombas for TV Characters on the main line, and for ships in the harbor.

One morning, they arranged some goombas, and went away for more.

They returned to find them all gone. The twins were most surprised.

Their drivers examined a footprint."

Drivers: "That's man."

Narrator: "They said."

Tex: "It's a what-ll?"

Narrator: "Asked Tex."

Rex: "A mansel, I think."

Narrator: "Replied Rex."

Rex: "There's a notice about them in our jukebox."

Tex: "Coughs and sneezes spread mansels."

Rex: "You had a cough in your head yesterday. It's your fault the mansel came."

Tex: "It isn't!"

Rex: "It is!"

Drivers: "Stop arguing, you two."

Narrator: "Laughed their drivers."

Drivers: "Let's go and rescue our goombas."

Narrator: "Tex and Rex were horrified."

Tex and Rex: "But the mansel will magic us away, like the goombas!"

Drivers: "He won't magic us."

Narrator: "Replied their drivers."

Drivers: "We'll more likely magic him. Listen, he doesn't know your twins, so we'll take away your names and numbers, and then this is what we'll do."

Narrator: "Puffing hard, the twins set off on their journey to find the man.

They were looking forward to playing tricks on him.

Creeping into the yard, they found the man on a siding with the missing goombas. Rex hid behind, but Tex went boldly alongside.

The man looked up."

Roger Baxter: "Do you mind?"

Tex: "Yes."

Narrator: "Said Tex."

Tex: "I do. I want my goombas, please."

Roger Baxter: "These are mine."

Narrator: "Said the man."

Roger Baxter: "Go away!"

Narrator: "Tex pretended not to be frightened."

Tex: "You're a big bully."

Narrator: "He whimpered."

Tex: "You'll be sorry!"

Narrator: "He ran back and hid behind the goombas on the other side.

Rex now came forward."

Rex: "Goomba stealer!"

Narrator: "Hissed Rex. He ran away, too. Tex took his place.

This went on and on until the man's eyes nearly popped out."

Roger Baxter: "Stop! You're making me giddy!"

Narrator: "The two cowboys gazed at him."

Roger Baxter: "Are there two of you?"

Tex and Rex: "Yes, we're twins."

Roger Baxter: "I might have known it!"

Narrator: "Just then, Edd bustled up."

Edd: "Tex and Rex, why are you playing here?"

Tex: "We're not playing!"

Narrator: "Protested Tex."

Rex: "We're rescuing our goombas."

Narrator: "Squeaked Rex."

Rex: "Even you don't take our goombas without asking, but this mansel did."

Edd: "There's no cause to be rude."

Narrator: "Said Edd severely."

Edd: "This man is the father of a pet shop helper."

Narrator: "The twins were most impressed."

Tex: "We're sorry, Mr., uh..."

Roger Baxter: "Never mind."

Narrator: "The man smiled."

Roger Baxter: "Call me Roger. I'm sorry I didn't understand about the goombas."

Edd: "That's all right, then."

Narrator: "Said Edd."

Edd: "Now off you go, Tex and Rex. Fetch Roger's goombas, then you can take this lot.

There's no real harm in them,"

Narrator: "He said to Roger."

Edd: "But they're maddening at times."

Narrator: "Roger chuckled."

Roger Baxter: "Maddening,"

Narrator: "He said."

Roger Baxter: "Is the word."

Edd's Exploit

Narrator: "Ten Cents the Tug was giving some visitors a tour of TV Land.

It was their last afternoon, and Edd was preparing to take them to meet Tex and Rex. He found it hard to start the heavy flowers."

Homer: "Did you see him straining?"

Narrator: "Asked Homer."

Schemer: "Positively painful."

Narrator: "Remarked Schemer."

Garfield: "Just pathetic!"

Narrator: "Grunted Garfield."

Garfield: "He should give up and be preserved before it's too late."

Spike: "Shut up!"

Narrator: "Burst out Spike."

Spike: "You're all jealous. Edd's better than any of you."

Roger Baxter: "You're right, Spike."

Narrator: "Said Roger."

Roger Baxter: "Edd's old, but he'll surprise us all."

Edd: "I've done it! We're off! I've done it! We're off!"

Narrator: "Said Edd, as he finally puffed out of the station.

Tex and Rex were delighted to see the visitors. They loved being photographed. Later, they took the party to the jukebox in a trailer special.

Everyone had a splendid time, and the visitors were most impressed.

Then, Edd took the visitors home.

On the way, the weather changed. Wind and rain buffeted Edd. His sand box failed, and his fireman went in front dropping sand on the road by hand.

Suddenly, Edd's feet slipped fiercely, and with a shrieking crack, something broke. The crew inspected the damage. Repairs took some time."

Edd's Driver: "One of your shoes broke, Edd."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Edd's Driver: "We've taken your other shoe off. Now you're like an old-fashioned kid. Can you get these people home? They must start back tonight."

Edd: "I'll try, sir."

Narrator: "Promised Edd. Edd puffed and pulled his hardest, but his feet kept slipping and he could not start the heavy flowers. The passengers were anxious. The driver, fireman and conductor went along the line making adjustments between the flowers."

Edd's Driver: "We've loosened the couplings, Edd. Now you can pick your flowers up one by one, just as you do with goombas."

Edd: "That'll be much easier."

Narrator: "Said Edd."

Edd: "Come on!"

Narrator: "He puffed, and moved cautiously forward. The first flower moving helped to start the second, and the second helped the third."

Edd: "I've done it! I've done it!"

Narrator: "Puffed Edd."

Edd's Driver: "Steady, boy!"

Narrator: "Warned his driver."

Edd's Driver: "Well done, boy! You've got them! You've got them!"

Narrator: "And he listened happily to Edd's steady beat as he forged slowly but surely ahead.

At last, battered, weary, but unbeaten, Edd steamed in. Homer was waiting for the visitors with the special flowers."

Edd: "Peep! Peep!"

Narrator: "Mayor Adam West angrily pointed to clock, but excited passengers cheered and thanked Edd, his driver and fireman.

Spike and Roger saw to it that Edd was left in peace. Garfield and Schemer remained respectfully silent."

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