RS Mr. Conductor to the Rescue is the third episode of the eighth season of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends, and the one hundred and eighty-fifth episode overall. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode, Thomas To The Rescue.


  • RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
  • Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) as Diesel
  • Meg (from Family Guy) as Mavis
  • Mr. Krabs (from Spongebob Squarepants) as Salty
  • Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
  • Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy (does not speak)
  • Rocky (from Looney Tunes) as Arry (does not speak)
  • Mugsy (from Looney Tunes) as Bert (does not speak)
  • Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon (cameo)
  • Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James (cameo)
  • Big Mickey (from TUGS) as Cranky (cameo)
  • Everyone else as Themselves


Narrator: "It was busy, bustling day in TV Lands. All over the town, TV characters were happily working together.

Mayor Adam West came to see RS Mr. Conductor."

Mayor Adam West: "The Quarry has an important order to fill."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "I need a TV character that is both useful and reliable."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I won't let you down, Sir!"

Narrator: "Whistled RS Mr. Conductor proudly."

But when RS Mr. Conductor arrived at the quarry, he had a nasty surprise.

Mr. Burns: "Oh, it's you."

Narrator: "Oiled Mr. Burns."

Mr. Burns: "What are you doing here?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm here to help Meg Griffin."

Narrator: "Puffed RS Mr. Conductor proudly."

Mr. Burns: "Little conductors can't help, not like a rich man!"

Narrator: "He sniffed."

RS Mr. Conductor: "That's not true!

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor crossly, and he began working at once.

But Mr. Burns was soon up to his old tricks. First, he pushed RS Mr. Conductor under the hopper."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Gold dust and whistles!"

Narrator: "Spluttered RS Mr. Conductor. Then, when RS Mr. Conductor blew some gold dust, Mr. Burns sniffed loudly."

Mr. burns: "What's that horrible smell?"

Narrator: "He cried."

Mr. Burns: "Oh, it's just a stinky old conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "How rude!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed RS Mr. Conductor."

Mr. Burns: "No wonder Mayor West is thinking of killing conductors."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I don't believe you!"

Narrator: "Puffed RS Mr. Conductor, but he was upset.

That night, RS Mr. Conductor stayed at the quarry, but he couldn't sleep."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What if Mr. Burns is right?"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor said sadly."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What if Mayor West kills all of us?"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor was worried.

The next day, Mr. Krabs arrived."

Mr. Krabs: "Ahoy there, me hearties! Fresh Elixir from the mainland!"

Narrator: "After he drank the elixir, Mr. Burns started to go faster and faster?"

Mr. Burns: "Ha ha!"

Narrator: "He chuckled."

Mr. Burns: "This new elixir makes my feet tingle!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Gold dust don't make my feet tingle."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I wish I could have fresh elixir."

Narrator: "Even Meg was excited by the new elixir."

Meg: "Oh, my!"

Narrator: "She said.

RS Mr. Conductor was feeling left out.

Soon, Mr. Burns was showing off."

Mr. Burns: "I'm the fastest rich man in the world!"

Narrator: "He boasted."

Mr. Burns: "Look at me go!"

Narrator: "Suddenly, Mr. Burns coughed, then he started to splutter. Black, smelly smoke billowed from him."

Mr. Burns: "I feel sick!"

Narrator: "Wailed Mr. Burns. Meg started billowing smoke, too."

Meg: "So do I!"

Narrator: "She groaned. The quarry manager was upset."

Quarry Manager: "It's the new elixir!"

Narrator: "He cried."

Quarry Manager: "Water must have leaked into the tanks!"

Narrator: "Soon, all the other TV Characters got sick. Rocky, Mugsy, even Mr. Krabs had ground to a halt.

So Mayor West called the quarry manager, and the quarry manager came to see RS Mr. Conductor."

Quarry Manager: "You are to collect fresh elixir from the depot."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Right away, sir!"

Narrator: "Whistled RS Mr. Conductor, and he ran out of the quarry as fast as he could. At last, he arrived at the depot."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Give me all the fresh elixir you've got!"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor cried."

RS Mr. Conductor: "This is an emergency!"

Workmen: "We'll soon have you loaded."

Narrator: "Said the Workmen.

RS Mr. Conductor was soon given jars filled with elixirs. The jars were very heavy. RS Mr. Conductor pushed with all his might. His legs creaked and his feet squeaked, but he kept on going.

RS Mr. Conductor trundled all over TV Land with fresh elixir for everyone.

For Mr. Krabs...

For Rocky, and for Mugsy.

RS Mr. Conductor was feeling very tired, but he still had one more delivery to make.

At the quarry, all work had stopped. Mr. Burns was as green as a leaf. Meg was feeling very glum.

Then, they heard a wonderful noise. It was RS Mr. Conductor! He walked into the quarry with one final puff."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I made it!"

Narrator: "He cried.

Meg and Mr. Burns had all the bad elixir drained out of their systems, and all the good, clean elixir poured in."

Mr. Burns: "Marvelous!"

Narrator: "Sighed Mr. Burns."

Meg: "Thank you, RS Mr. Conductor!"

Narrator: "Purred Meg.

Soon, the quarry was clattering with the sound of work.

And finally, the important job was done.

Mayor West arrived with Bart."

Mayor Adam West: "Well done, RS Mr. Conductor!"

Narrator: "Boomed Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "You have saved the day! You are a really useful conductor, and a credit to the land!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Thank you, sir!"

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor proudly.

And even Mr. Burns had to admit that RS Mr. Conductor is a very special TV character...

...even if he is a conductor."

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