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Real Time Studios

== Extraditing our fugitives of decency since 2002 == Welcome to Real Time Wiki, the only.....ahh screw it. This is the official Real Time Studios Wiki, which is currently fully editable. So feel free to type any slanderous material, you so-tough-cause-you're-unidentifiable-over-the-internet devil.


  • 2002
    • Real Time Studios began under the name "Nasty Tempers"
    • The show was comprised of two members, Wesker and Birkin
    • The website was mainly for the medal of honor clan 18th Infantry battalion
    • The website was hosted under the domain name
  • 2003
    • Nasty Tempers continues to reign on the back of freewebs
    • Wesker and Birkin are joined by several new staff, including Redfield, Vickers, Chambers, and the interesting thug-like character, Baron Von Beef Dip
      • Historic note: Redfield is killed almost every episode, usually by BVBD, in a nod to the constant death of Kenny on the tv show "South Park"
      • Redfield eventually leaves the show because of problems in school.
        • In his last episode, he is killed by agents from AOL (in a nod to AOL shutting down websites that badmouth them) in a takeover of a fake Real Time Studios HQ
    • (If you haven't noticed already, there was a trend with nicknames being characters from the video game "Resident Evil")
  • 2004
    • Nasty Tempers moves from freewebs to and officially becomes Real Time Studios.
    • Staff changes:**
      • Wesker changes name to Omali
      • Birkin changes name to Mario
      • The other members are either removed from the show or have left
      • New members: Symantec, Dopefish
    • There is a six month time laps where Real Time Studios wasn't updated at all.
    • December 2004: Real Time Studios is hacked, leaving a waste of a website behind. After an incriminating email is sent to Omali, Mario is booted off the team
  • 2005
    • Staff Changes:
      • Returning members: Omali, Mario, Dopefish, Symantec,
      • New members: (In order of appearance) Jasper Snavely, Ice Man, Tin Lizard, Xanax, Saradomin, McClaggen, Mahip
      • Saradomin leaves the team late 2005
    • This is the first year Real Time Studios has had off-episode content
    • Real Time Studios comes to, the first time Real Time Studios has made it to a paying website
    • The look of the website is very basic, in a nod to Maddox's own concept of not blinding the user with a bunch of useless shit.
    • This is the first time Real Time Studios makes a website jump without a complete change of staff.
    • Around March, Real Time Studios is hacked yet again, by the same person. Luckily, thanks to better awareness by the staff and quick reaction from the host, the hacker was traced and Mario was found innocent and welcomed back with open fists
    • Real Time Studios starts dabbling in pictures, making a very crude banner
    • The first Real Time Studios competition is formed. Sadly the uninspired requirements made this a complete failure

  • 2006
    • RTS dabbling in politics? Columnist Maximillion Tresmond, aka Jasper Snavely, announces he is running for New York State Assembly
    • Real Time Studios gets yet another visual upgrade with the help of local Russian coder, Alexandrovich Yefimov Przybyl
      • Although the page does look better, the pages are glitchy and had missing text, badly formatted pictures, for the first few days while Omali got used to the design limitations
      • Calendars were added to the page, but were recently withdrawn due to technical issues (IE: They sucked and looked ugly)
    • The current goal is to reach 200 episodes before the end of the year (Wasn't reached by a long shot)
    • October, 2006: The website has it's look changed yet again
    • Departure of all three columnists: Tin Lizard, Jasper Snavely, IceMan.
    • Introduction of the new writer: Crotchio Jones
    • Real Time Studios hits a new number of viewers: 1,664 unique visitors in 2006
  • 2007
    • January, 2007: The website template is changed again

Current Staff Members


  • Omali is the host of Real Time Studios, and one of the few who has stood with the website over the past four years. Omali is also one of the few on the website who has willingly given his real name to the public. During the occasional debate, Omali prefers to sit at the neutral zone and let other members of the staff go at each other, sometimes giving his own comments but never really showing which side he's on. Omali is a follower of the belief of Net Neutrality, a concept that has recently hit the mainstream. it is a belief that ISP's should not have the ability to prefer some websites over others (IE: AOL offering premium connection speeds to websites who pay them large sums of money) over cash reasons. He also has a large obsession with the book series Harry Potter, and obsession which is often mentioned when any news arises over the topic. While often stressing his own lazyness, Omali often contributes the majority of the content per episode...or none at all. As a comedian, Omali often uses sarcasm and satire to get his point accross, while at the same time showing the audience what a complete idiot the other party is (IE: "Prostitutes....that's right, prostitutes are joining in the lawsuits, claiming the game is bad for children." ..... " They do have first hand experience. I mean, how would you like it if you were run over by the guy you just gave hepatitus B to? That's not ethical."). Omali also gears many of his comedic skits towards the food industry, the FDA in particular, who he believes lies to the consumers they are supposed to be protecting.
    • Join date: March, 2002
    • Jobs: Hosting, editing, content approval, management


  • Being the Video game buff that he is, Xanax found a place at home on a website with no gaming news. Starting each section with his introduction phrase "And now on to video game news". Xanax doesn't just do video game news. He has, in the past, done several interviews with game makers, video game reviews, and recently took the position of the complaint department. As a comedian, Xanax is known to break off from his normal ritual of reviewing games, to do little infomercials that Real Time Studios has regularly. In most of his infomercials, Xanax plays the role of some kind of lawyer, in a nod to how lawyers exploit victims as a way of business (As taken from episode 159: "Every year, over 2000 people get into car accidents and don't realise it. We are unable to take advantage of them-I mean, they are unable to get compensation for the crime against them and the damage to their body they may not even know about").
    • Join Date: Exact date unknown, 2005
    • Jobs : Complaint Department, Reviewin stuff


  • Mario is the official bad guy of Real Time Studios. He's mean, ruthless, and doesn't bother attempting to step around the censor, but proceeds to smash through it. Mario is not only the most controversial person on the staff, but also the main reason why real time studios has been threatened with lawsuits in the past (all of them frivolous). As a comedian, Mario directs his skits in a more hateful, yet still comedic, way. As a large supporter of expanding capital punishment, it's not uncommon to see references and suggestions towards brutal beatings, stranglings, and other ways to keep the people he talks about out of society. While, recently, Mario doesn't appear much, he's made sure to leave his name in the minds of the people who visit the website. Similar to McClaggen, Mario is rarely accepted to be in debates, as the debates usually get out of hand fast. in recent events, Mario started a crusade against the company Starforce, a company not only who's anti-piracy software has been known to cause computer failures, but who took part in the mass illegal distribution of the competing game Galactic Civilizations II, becase the competing company refused to use starforce software.
    • Job: Ranter, Mario Vs Starforce


  • One of the latest two to join the crew, McClaggen first showed up as a judge at the Real Time Studios competition for quality. Brought in as the complement to Mario, McClaggen is just as ruthless, just as vulgar, and gets pissed off just as easily. As a comedian, McClaggen isn't afraid to show the real truth, and bring to light what many of us are already thinking (IE:You can't have football without 31 winners and a whole bunch of losers. ). Behind the scenes, McClaggen is sometimes forced to email in his editorial, as his presence in the chat room that Real Time Studios records in usually ends up in a heated "debate" between McClaggen and other staff members. With this knowledge it is clear why McClaggen is not usually present during debates and open forum discussions.
  • Join Date: Exact date unknown, later part of 2005
    • Jobs: Episodes


  • Mahip is the counterpart to McClaggen. In a sense, he's almost like McClaggen's lackey. Joining in at the same time as McClaggen, in the same episode as McClaggen, Mahip tags along with the rest of the gang, acting much like the kid who always hung around with the bully at grade school. As a comedian, Mahip usually focuses his skits on logic, in a nod to Spock from the tv show Star Trek. Mahip generally handles stories by using points from past news events (Uwe Boll's movie making career for example). During his infomercials, Mahip generally uses the art of uncomfortability and awkwardness to drive his humor (IE: In episode 159, the voice from the movie "The Ring" calls Mahip, only to find out that it was the wrong number.)
  • Join date: Same as McClaggen
    • Jobs: Conspiracy Theorist for main episodes


With the exception of Omali and Mario, Symantec is the third longest running staff members of Real Time Studios. Taking her name from the parent company of Norton Anti-Virus (Symantec), Symantec does exactly that: Reports recent outbreaks in Viruses. Because of the nature of her editorials, Symantec usually does not take part in joke infomericals, rants, and the general bs'ing around Real Time Studios. The rest of the staff see her as the motherly figure for Real Time Studios, and for a long time she was known as the caring voice, as in early episodes, she would stop Omali and Mario from going too far in their rantings. She's also never sworn on the episodes.

  • Join date: 2004
    • Job: Virus reporting (Main episodes)

Crotchio Jones

The newest member to Real Time Studios, Crotchio has certainly made a name for himself. He dabbles in more creepy style of writing, usually making blatant and numerous references to penises, vomit, piss stains, etc in writing. He has his own section of the website called "Crotchio's Corner". Different work of his includes Postal Adventures and The Elder Scrolls: All Crotched Up

  • Join date: October, 2006
    • Job: Crotchio's Corner


Stuff you probably missed and running gags

  • Real Time Studios has a tradition of saying goodbye to departing members by having them murdered in episodes (IE: Redfield was killed in a fake AOL invasion, Saradomin was killed by members of the AARP for being a whipper-snapper)
  • Earlier last year, Omali got sick of doing introductions, and had an announcer do them (in a nod to tv show "XPlay"). The announcer is Omali who, despite the presence of the announcer, still does his own introductions at the beginning of each episode.
  • Usually at the end of an episode, there's a preview of the next episode showing what content is going to be discussed. To date, the content of the preview has only been fulfilled once (The Doom 3 review back in 2005)
  • Real Time Studios is known to jump episodes from news to talk show to text based rpg randomly, with very little consistency between episodes.
  • The actual amount of episodes is currently unknown, as the episodes from freewebs were not taken into account when deciding to lable the episodes with numbers, also there's been a couple times in the past where episodes skipped a number, or an episode was never released and skipped, or some other circumstance.
  • Dopefish, a member of Real Time Studios, has not been heard from since last December. His current whereabouts are unknown and the team has decided to remove his name as an active member.
  • To date, Real Time Studios has recieved visitors from over 70 countries, ranging from the united states to ghana, Israel, Iran, Mexico, Spain, Ukraine, spanning the entire world.