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Safspeak top


Newspeak is a fictional language, described by George Orwell[1] in his book Nineteen Eighty-Four as "being the only language in the world whose vocabulary gets smaller every year."

Orwell's Newspeak is based on English, but has a greatly reduced and simplified vocabulary and grammar, which, of course, suited the totalitarian regime in Nineteen Eighty-Four, called The Party, perfectly; their aim being to make any alternative thinking or speech impossible by removing completely any words or possible constructs which (could) describe the idealism of freedom, rebellion, privacy, etc. According to Orwell, enforcing the use of Newspeak describes a deliberate intent (on behalf of the ruling party) to exploit this degeneration (of English) with the aim of oppressing its speakers.


SAfspeak, while not nearly as oppressive as Newspeak, describe various ways South Africans tend to waste time in (especially) meetings by answering simple questions with half-hour monologues containing several confusing terms, wordy and lengthy descriptions and buzz words. Having finished, they would then sit down satisfied that they have completely confused their audience into dumbfoundedness and seem extremely and generally proud of their ability to obfuscate the truth, i.e. the simple fact that they could not answer a simple question with the customary "yes" or "no".


WARNING: The content below is of a politically incorrect nature and can be viewed by some as being insensitive, although it is intended to be a parody of and satirical comment on communication in a modern society.

If you consider yourself to be easily offended, or of a sensitive nature, it is recommended that you DO NOT read any further.

Words or terminology beginning with...


  • administrative assistant
(a) Secretary.
(b) See laptop.
  • affirmative action
An action of some kind which is supposedly correct, but actually refers to the preferential treatment of a particular group within a given population.
  • aux faix
Knowledgeable or familiar with, as in I am aux faix with the situation, literally meaning I am pretending to have knowledge of or are familiar with what you are referring to. From the French, literally meaning "with the fact".


  • bus operator


  • capacitate
To enable someone to obtain or develop a specific capacity, not necessarily the ability, to do something. See empower.
  • conspiracy theory
Any theory suggesting that a person or persons in power, whether from the South African Police Services (SAPS), the government or any other institution or organisation, is lying to the public.
  • crossing the digital divide
Apparently meaning that those who do not yet have IT, are getting IT (soon). Cellphones are not considered IT.


  • democracy
(a) The political orientation of those who favor government by the people or by their elected representatives.
(b) Majority rule: the doctrine that the numerical majority of an organized group can make decisions binding on the whole group.[2]
(c) A form of government where all the state's decisions are exercised directly or indirectly by a majority of its citizens through a fair elective process.[3]
(d) In foreign countries, the condition in which the nation's leaders are chosen by a majority of the citizens and approved by the United States of America, or simply installed by the United States of America.[4]
  • disenfranchised few
Those who do not (yet) have a say, which means that they must be capacitated or empowered. Also see capacitate; empower.
  • dysfunctional family
(a) Describes a family or home environment where conflict, misbehaviour and abuse take place on a continuing basis, and in which the children grow up and live with the conception that this behaviour is normal.[5]
(b) A broken home.


  • economically disadvantaged area
A slum, or ghetto.
  • empower
(a) Literally meaning to give person a say in a matter.
(b) To provide an individual and/or a group or groups with the necessary skills, information, authority and resources in order to carry out their responsibilities.[6]
(c) To give or delegate power or authority to.[7]
(d) Actually refers to the perception created that all of the above is done.
  • environmentalist
(a) Green people.
(b) People who fight to "save the world" without considering the possible effects of such a fight, physically or otherwise, on the general population.
  • extremist
Anybody having an opinion other than that of the government of the day.


  • gay rights
(a) Literally means the right to be a homosexual.
(b) Actually refers to a condition whereby all non-homosexuals are prohibited from disagreeing with the views, politically or otherwise, of a homosexual person.
  • gender re-assignment
(a) Sex change
(b) Surgically altering a person's appearance and reproductive organs to represent that of a gender that he/she is not yet part of and were not born as.


  • homemaker
  • homophobic
(a) Literally means "fear of the same".
(b) Homo as a reference to homosexuals was used in the creation of the word, meaning prejudice against gays.[8]
(c) Donnering moffies.


  • illegal aliens
(a) Illegal immigration is the act of moving to or settling in another country or region, temporarily or permanently, in violation of the law of either the country the person is coming from or the country the person is going to, or without documents permitting an immigrant to settle in that country.[9]
(b) Border skippers.
(c) People who crept under or over the border from (mostly) neighbouring countries without the necessary legal documentation, occupying houses and jobs which South African could possibly have qualified for. Not to be confused with Aliens, those foreigners from neighbouring galaxies who, apparently, are here legally.


  • laptop
(a) A laptop computer is a small mobile or portable personal computer which may be used conveniently on business trips, in classrooms, and in other situations where traditional personal computers may be less efficient or cumbersome. Most have connectors for an external monitor and keyboard transforming them into desktop computers when necessary.
(b) A secretary who is not an administrative assistant.


  • mentally challenged
(a) Mental retardation (mentally handicapped) describes a pattern of persistently slow learning of basic motor and language skills during childhood, and a significantly below-normal global intellectual capacity as an adult.[10]
(b) The person has a screw loose.
  • militants
People who think differently than you do, have a different opinion than you do, and refuses to change their minds.


  • non-conformist
(a) A person who is a pain-in-the-arse or a troublemaker.
(b) A person refusing to toe the line, accept what he/she is told and what to think.
(c) A person who continually rocks the boat.
(d) All of the above.


  • rainbow nation
(a) Referring to the South African nation, emphasising the differences and unequalities between language, culture and ethnic groups, rather than the much simpler "one nation".
(b) The world-wide gay community. The Rainbow Flag is considered to be the internationally recognised gay flag.


  • significant other
An unnamed person of uncertain or unknown gender who is un-insignificant.
  • small person
A person who is vertically challenged, i.e. not very tall. The term does not refer to or include children, but actually refers to dwarfs and midgets.


  • vegetarian
(a) A person practising Vegetarianism, a dietary practice characterised by the consumption of only vegetables, fruit, nuts, grains and pulses, and excluding the consumption of all body parts of any animal and products derived from animal carcasses (such as lard, tallow, gelatin, cochineal), from the diet.[11]
(b) A person killing and eating only plants, easily identified by a vegetarian darkness around the eyes and a slighter than average body weight.

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