Schemer and the Trouble with Trees is the fifth episode of the fifth season of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends, and the one-hundred and ninth episode overall. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode, James and the Trouble with Trees.
- RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
- Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
- Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
- Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
- Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
- Scooby Doo (from Scooby Doo) as Terence
- Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
- Goombas (from Mario) as The Troublesome Trucks
- Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon (cameo)
- Eustace (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Jeremiah Jobling (cameo)
- Everyone else as Themselves
Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor had been working in the coal yards all day. The little conductor was covered in coal dust."
RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "We can't clean you up tonight, RS Mr. Conductor."
Narrator: "Said his driver."
RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "There's a problem with the hose pipe."
RS Mr. Conductor: "Bother!"
Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."
RS Mr. Conductor: "A bath would make me feel much better. The others are sure to say I look silly."
Narrator: "But the TV characters were too busy arguing to notice RS Mr. Conductor. Schemer was talking loudest of all."
Schemer: "I deserve some new clothes. Mayor Adam West says I'm the pride of TV Land, and..."
Narrator: "Huffed Homer."
Homer: "We're all the pride of TV Land!"
Bart: "It's been like this all day."
Narrator: "Confided Bart to RS Mr. Conductor."
Bart: "Schemer's getting some new clothes and won't stop boasting about it."
RS Mr. Conductor: "Why Schemer? I'm the one who needs a new coat. Look at me!"
Schemer: "I'd rather not."
Narrator: "Retorted Schemer.
Schemer: "You're not a pleasant sight, and wouldn't understand the needs of a really important arcade owner."
Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor was fuming!
Next morning, as Schemer was his new clothes, Homer had an accident!"
Schemer: "If you can't push goombas properly, Homer, why not talk to a tree instead? You know how much you like the forest.
Homer: "As a matter of fact, bossy head, Mayor West is inspecting TV Land for trees that are too close to the path. He's worried they might cause trouble."
Narrator: "Laughed Schemer."
Schemer: "If I came upon a tree, I'd just push it aside!"
Narrator: "Replied Homer.
Soon Schemer was showing off his clothes."
Schemer: "Make way for an important arcade owner!"
Bart: "You wouldn't feel important if one of these trees crashed on you; you'd feel hurt!"
Narrator: "Reproached Bart."
Schemer: "Rubbish! It wouldn't dare!"
Scooby Doo: "You should be careful, Schemer, trees can be just as powerful as men."
Narrator: "Advised Scooby Doo."
Narrator: "Snorted Schemer."
Schemer: "Now, excuse me, Mayor West needs me to pull the express."
Narrator: "And he huffed away.
But Schemer was wrong."
Mayor Adam West: "You must go to the harbor and collect some important goods, Schemer. They're heavy, so be careful."
Narrator: "Said Mayor West."
Schemer: "But sir, I just got new clothes. Can't RS Mr. Conductor or Bart do it? They're dirty and like working with goombas."
Mayor Adam West: "Really useful TV characters don't argue!"
Narrator:: "So Schemer didn't.
By the time he arrived at the harbor, the weather had changed for the worst."
A Goomba: "Your clothes are nice, Schemer, pity about your face though."
Narrator: "Said a goomba.
Schemer ignored them and set off.
Soon, they came to a hill, and his driver knew that they were in for a difficult time. An old tree, close to the path, was being blown by the strong winds, and rain had weakened the slope. All of a sudden, the tree moved!"
Schemer: "Ooh, help!"
Narrator: "Cried Schemer."
Schemer: "Go away!"
Narrator: "But of course, the tree couldn't. Schemer tried to reverse away from the tree, but his goombas were too heavy."
(RS Mr. Conductor whistles)
"Then, he heard a whistle."
Schemer's Driver: "It's RS Mr. Conductor!"
Narrator: "Called his driver.
Schemer felt embarrassed and worried that RS Mr. Conductor would laugh at him, but RS Mr. Conductor didn't. He knew that this was no time for teasing."
RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm ready!"
Narrator: "Whistled RS Mr. Conductor."
Schemer: "So am I."
Narrator: "Said Schemer."
Schemer: "As ready as I'll ever be."
(The tree crashes to the ground)
Narrator: "They were just in time.
Later, Schemer spoke to RS Mr. Conductor."
Schemer: "Bart and Scooby Doo were right to warn me. Thank you for rescuing me, RS Mr. Conductor."
RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh, that's all right. We TV characters must pull together, whatever the weather."
Narrator: "Just then, Edd bustled in."
Edd: "Mayor West thinks you're both brave TV characters. RS Mr. Conductor, you're going to have a new coat, and Schemer, Mayor West says that tomorrow, you'll pull the special express!"
Narrator: "Everyone was very happy."