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Schoolhouse Polka is the Silly Song/Schoolhouse Polka with Mater from Penguin of the Opera

Cast

  • Mater (Cars) as Larry the Cucumber

Lyrics

  • Narrator: And now it's time for Schoolhouse Polka with Mater, the part of the show where Mater comes out and sings a Schoolhouse Polka.
  • Mater: If I'm lying, I'm crying. My name is Mater. Whether, whether, whether, whether, whether you like it or not. Weather, weather, weather, weather, weather is cold, warm and hot. Two, two, two, two, two of my favorite toys I'm bringing to, to, to, to A place the first one enjoys! And I like it, too! Homophones! Homophones! Where the crews come cruising down the plane! Homophones! Homophones! I need my kneaded biscuits plain! I know a pear, pear, pear, pear With a pair of really soft shoes He wears them to pare, pare, pare, pare Bushes that easily bruise I planted rows, rows, rows, rows Of a horribly bad-smelling rose Now no one knows, knows, knows, knows If the scent will be leaving my nose But most likely no Oh, homophones! Homophones! Where the toads are towed out on the plane! Homophones! Homophones! I need my kneaded biscuits plain!
  • (Falls over and struggles to get up.)
  • (Finally gets up, gasping.)
  • Mater: Whether, whether, whether, whether Whether you like it or not Weather, weather, weather, weather Weather is cold, warm, and hot! Whew! I'm done.
  • (Runs off-screen, panting.)
  • Narrator: This has been Schoolhouse Polka with Mater. Tune in next time to hear Mater sing...
  • Mater: What happened to my preposition? I took it on an expedition! But by the thing I keep my fish in Got infected with a skin condition!
  • Narrator: And?
  • Mater: (comes out, panting) I'm a pronoun They're a pronoun He's a pronoun She's a pronoun Wouldn't you like to be a pronoun too?
  • Narrator: And?
  • Mater: It was the biggest, bluest, cleanest, brightest, quickest, newest, roundest, nicest, softest, tallest, toughest, lightest, smoothest, kindest, flattest, tightest, most amazing adjective I'd ever seen!
  • Narrator: And?
  • Mater: I'm done.
  • Narrator: Interjections? Adverbs?
  • Mater: Uh, no.
  • Narrator: Alrighty.

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