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CookieMonsterandRositaFan360's movie-spoof of "Toy Story"


Cast:

  • Woody - Cookie Monster (Sesame Street)
  • Buzz Lightyear - Telly Monster (Sesame Street)
  • Mr.Potato Head - Benny Rabbit (Sesame Street)
  • Slinky Dog - Ernie (Sesame Street)
  • Rex - Elmo (Sesame Street)
  • Hamm - Grover (Sesame Street)
  • Bo Peep - Rosita (Sesame Street)
  • Sarge - Kermit the Frog (Muppets/Sesame Street/Elmopalooza)
  • Sarge's Soliders - Various Muppet Show Characters (Muppets)
  • Young Andy - Linus van Pelt (Peanuts)
  • Mrs.Davis - Liz Wilson (Garfield and Friends/The Garfield Show)
  • Baby Molly - Michael Darling (Peter Pan)
  • RC - Roadrunner (Looney Tunes)
  • Mr.Spell - Big Bird (Sesame Street)
  • Lenny - Bert (Sesame Street)
  • Mr.Shark - Herry Monster (Sesame Street)
  • Etch - Rabbit (Winnie the Pooh)
  • Robot - Ed (Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy)
  • Snake - Slimey (Sesame Street)
  • Troll Dolls - Winnie the Pooh Characters
  • Rocky Gibalatar - Baby Bear (Sesame Street)
  • Sid - Lefou (Beauty and the Beast)
  • Hannah - Jane Darling (Return to Neverland)
  • Scud - Banzai (The Lion King)
  • Combat Carl - Genie (Aladdin)
  • Various Squeeze Toy Aliens - Various Fraggles (Fraggle Rock)
  • Chosen Squeeze Toy Alien - Wembley Fraggle (Fraggle Rock)
  • Frog - Rabbit #1 (Teletubbies)
  • Ducky - Quincy (Little Einsteins)
  • Burned Ragdoll - Iago (Aladdin)
  • Huge Red Pickup Truck Toy - Peter Pan

Quotes

  • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: [Cookie Monster/Woody, scared, walks backwards and he gets startled by Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear. Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear keeps talking to his "mission log"] And according to my navi-computer, the...
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [whispering] SHUT UP! Just, SHUT UP, you idiot!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: Blue Monster, this is no time to panic.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: This is a perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Linus van Pelt is gone, they're gonna move to their new house in two days, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: Mine? My fault? If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place...
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Oh yeah? Well, if *you* hadn't shown up with your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me...
    • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: Don't talk to me about importance! Because of *you*, the future of this entire universe is in jeopardy!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
    • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Dusty has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. And *you*, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [pauses and looks incredulous] YOU! ARE! A! SESAME MUPPETTTTTT! You aren't the real Telly Monster! You're - you're an Sesame Muppet action figure! [holds hand up to eyes indicating something small] You are a child's Sesame Muppet play thing!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: You are a sad, strange little Sesame Muppet man, and you have my pity. [waves in military fashion] Farewell. [starts to walk away]
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony!
  • Elmo/Rex: What if Linus van Pelt gets another Red Monster? A mean one? I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection!
  • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Hey, a laser! How come *you* don't have a laser, Cookie Monster?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: It's not a laser! It's a... [sighs in frustration] It's a little light bulb that blinks.
    • Grover/Hamm: What's with him?
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Laser envy.
  • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: [Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head rearranges his facial features crazily] Hey, Grover. Look, I'm Picasso!
    • Grover/Hamm: I don't get it.
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: You uncultured blue monster! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?
  • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Of course Cookie Monster ain't worried. He's been Linus van Pelt's favorite  since kindergarten.            
  • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Did you all take stupid pills this morning? Have you forgotten what he did to Telly?
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting, was I think, a big success. We'd like to thank Big Bird for putting that on for us. Thank you Big Bird.
    • Big Bird/Mr. Spell: [mechanically] You're. Welcome.
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: All right, that's enough! Look, we're all very impressed with Linus van Pelt's new Sesame Muppet.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: Sesame Muppet?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: S-E-S-A-M-E M-U-P-P-E-T, Sesame Muppet!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger".
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: The word I'm searching for I can't say because there's Sesame Muppet toys present.
  • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Oh. Well, that's good.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: But we're not on my planet, are we?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: No. Daaaah-oof! [Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear attacks Cookie Monster/Woody] Okay, come on. You want a piece of me? [Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear gets knocked down by Cookie Monster/Woody, he closes his helmet on Cookie Monster/Woody's hand]
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Ow!
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: What chance does a Sesame Muppet like me have against a Telly Monster action figure?
  • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Oh, really? I'm from Sesame Street.
    • Elmo/Rex: And I'm from Elmo's World. Well, I'm not really from Elmo's World, I'm actually from Red that created Colors for the Fuzzy.
  • Kermit the Frog/Sarge: Michael Darling's first present is... Bonnie Rabbit! Repeat, Bonnie Rabbit!
    • Grover/Hamm: Way to go, Bunny Hop!
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Gee, I'd better shave!
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: I think you've had enough tea for today, let's get you outta here, Telly.
  • Telly Monster/Buzz: What's going on?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Nothing that concerns you Sesame Muppet space man, just us Sesame Muppets.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: I'd better have a look anyway. [he looks through Bert the binoculars] Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [moves Bert] That's why. Lefou.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [seeing a Hyenas] Sure is a hairy fella...
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [re-moving the binoculars] No, no, that's Banzai, you idiot. *That* is Lefou.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [Lefou/Sid is laughing maniacally] You mean that happy child?
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: That ain't no happy child!
    • Elmo/Rex: He tortures Sesame Muppets - just for fun!
  • Elmox/Rex: Hey, everyone! Roadrunner is trying to say something! What is it, boy?
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Saying that this was no accident.
    • Rosita/Bo Peep: What do you mean?
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed by Cookie Monster!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Wait a minute. You don't think I meant to knock Telly out of the window, do you, Benny Rabbit?
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: That's *Mister* Benny Rabbit to you, you back stabbing murderer!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Now, guys, it was an accident. C'mon, you-you've gotta believe me.
    • Ernie/Slinky Dog: We believe you, Cookie Monster. Right, Elmo?
    • Elmo/Rex: Well, I mean, uh, I don't like confrontations!
    • Kermit the Frog/Sarge: Where is your honor, dirtbag? You're an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to... Hey!
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Couldn't handle Telly cutting time on your playtime, could you, Cookie Monster? Didn't want to face the fact that Telly just might be Linus van Pelt's new favorite Sesame Muppet. So you got rid of him. But what if Linus van Pelt start playing with me more, Cookie Monster, huh? You're gonna knock me out of the window too?
    • Grover/Hamm: I don't think we should give him a chance.
    • Kermit the Frog/Sarge: There he is, men! Grab him!
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Let's string him up by his pullstring.
    • Grover/Hamm: I'll get the hat!
    • Rosita/Bo Peep: Will you guys just stop it?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: No wait, please! I can explain everything!
    • Linus van Pelt/Andy: Hey, mom! Be right there. I gotta go get Telly.
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: [mocking Telly Monster/Buzz as they split-up] "Rendezvous with Star Command." [sees a delivery truck with a "Pizza Planet" logo on it] Pizza Planet? [enlightened] Linus van Pelt! Oh, no! I can't show my face in that room without Telly. [yelling to Telly Monster/Buzz] Telly! Telly, come back!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [walking out from under the truck, annoyed] Go away!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: No! Telly, you gotta come back! I... [Woody looks at the Pizza Planet delivery truck, and notices a miniature spaceship on the top] [calling] I found a spaceship! [Telly/Buzz stops and looks at the delivery truck] [calling] It's a spaceship, Telly!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [as the driver asks for directions] Now, you're sure this space freighter will return to its point of origin once it jettisons its food supply?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [nodding his head] Uh-huh. And when we get there, we'll find a way to transport you home.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Well, then, let's climb aboard.

[Telly Monster/Buzz runs towards the truck]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody: No, no, no, wait, Telly! Telly! Let's get in the back. No one will see us there.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Negative. There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. We'll be much safer in the cockpit.

[Telly Monster/Buzz climbs through the open window and jumps into the seat]

  • Cookie Monster/Woody: [whispering] Yeah, bu... Telly! Telly! Telly! [the Pizza Planet truck's engine starts, Cookie Monster/Woody climbs into the back, and sees Telly Monster/Buzz attaching a seat belt] It's safer in the cockpit than the cargo bay. What an idiot.

[the Pizza Planet truck moves forwards sharply, Cookie Monster/Woody is tossed and thrown by the extreme motion of the truck as it speeds down the road and up a hill. Items start in the back of the truck start to tumble towards Cookie Monster/Woody, one of them being a heavy tool box]

  • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: [while playing Battleship] Ah, ha. B-3.
    • Grover/Hamm: Miss. G-6.
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Aw, you sunk it! [Grover/Hamm chuckles] Are you peeking?
    • Grover/Hamm: Hey, quit your whining and pay up. [Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head pulls off one of his ears] No, no, not the ear. Gimme the nose.
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: [pulls off his nose] How 'bout 3 out of 5?
    • Benny Rabbit/Mr. Potato Head: Son of a building block! It's Cookie Monster!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Hey, Telly! You're flying!
      • Telly Monster/Buzz Lightyear: This isn't flying, this is falling with style!
  • Telly Monster/Buzz: Terrain seems a bit unstable. No readout yet if the air is breathable. And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [sneaks up on Telly Monster/Buzz] Hello!

[Telly Monster/Buzz yells. Cookie Monster/Woody screams. Telly Monster/Buzz fires his "laser" at Cookie Monster/Woody]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Hey hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I frighten you? Didn't mean to. Sorry. Howdy. My name... is Cookie Monster... and this... is Linus van Pelt's room. That's all I wanted to say. And also, there has been a bit of a mix-up. This is my spot, see... the bed here.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [sees Cookie Monster/Woody's "Sheriff" star badge] Local law enforcement! It's about time you got here. I'm Telly Monster, Space Ranger, Universe Protection Unit. My ship has crash-landed here by mistake.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed here is my spot.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: I need to repair my turbo boosters. Are you still using fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystallic fusion?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Well, let's see, we got double-A's.
  • Telly Monster/Buzz: I am Telly Monster; I come in peace.
    • Elmo/Rex: [shaking Telly Monster/Buzz's hand] Oh, I'm so glad you're not a Red Monster!
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: [trying to get Telly Monster/Buzz into Michael Darling/Molly's stroller] It's a special spaceship, I just saw it.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: You mean it has hyperdrive?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Hyperactive hyperdrive, and astro... uh... turf.
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: Listen, pink monster, you stay away from Linus van Pelt. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip?

[slides under his ship with a skateboard]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [pulls him back out] And another thing, *stop* with this *pink monster* thing! It's getting on my nerves.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Are you saying you want to lodge a complaint with Star Command?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Oh-ho! O-okay, ooh, well, so you wanna do it the hard way, huh?
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [gets out from under his ship] Don't even think about it, blue monster.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Oh yeah, tough guy?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [pushes Telly Monster/Buzz. Telly Monster/Buzz's helmet opens. Telly Monster/Buzz chokes gags]
  • Ernie/Slinky Dog: It's Lefou!
    • Elmo/Rex: I thought he was at summer camp!
    • Grover/Hamm: They must've kicked him out early this year.
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: Hey, who's got my hat?
    • Herry Monster/Mr. Shark: Look, I'm Cookie Monster! Howdy, howdy, howdy!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Ha-ha, ha-ha...

[snatches his hat away]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Gimme that!
  • Telly Monster/Buzz: Do you know these life forms?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Yes, they're Linus van Pelt's Sesame Muppets.
  • Elmo/Rex: Mr. Pink Monster, now I'm curious... what does a space ranger actually do?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: He's not a space ran-*ger*! He doesn't fight evil or, or... shoot lasers or fly.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Excuse me.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [Telly Monster/Buzz deploys his wings; all exclaim in excitement]
    • Grover/Hamm: Wow. Impressive wingspan. Very good.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Oh, what? What? These are plastic. He can't fly.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I *can* fly.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: No, you can't.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [scoffs] Yes, I can.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Can't.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Can.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Can't, can't, ca-an't!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Okay, Mr. Monitor, prove it.
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: All right then, I will.

[watching guests arrive for Linus van Pelt's party]

  • Elmo/Rex: Any Red Monster-shaped ones?
    • Grover/Hamm: Oh, for crying out loud, they're all in *boxes*, you idiot.
    • Elmo/Rex: They're getting bigger...
    • Ernie/Slinky Dog: Wait, there's a nice little one over there.

[boy turns around, revealing the full length of the box he's carrying]

    • Elmo/Rex, Grover/Hamm, Ernie/Slinky Dog, Benny Rabbit/Mr Potato Head Big Bird/Mr Spell Bert/Lenny Roadrunner/RC: AAAAAHH!
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: You actually think you're *the* Telly Monster? Hey, look, everybody! It's the *real* Telly Monster!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: You're mocking me, aren't you?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Oh no, no no no, no. - Telly look, an alien!
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Where?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [slaps knee and laughs hoarsely]
  • Ernie/Slinky Dog: I knew you were right all along, Cookie Monster. Never doubted you for a second.
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: [through his voice box] Reach for the sky!
    • Lefou/Sid Phillips: Huh?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: This town ain't big enough for the two of us!
    • Lefou/Sid Phillips: What?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Somebody's poisoned the waterhole!
    • Lefou/Sid Phillips: It's busted.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Who are you calling busted, Buster?
    • Lefou/Sid Phillips: Huh?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: That's right! I'm talking to you, Lefou! We don't like being blown up, Lefou. Or smashed, or torn apart.
    • Lefou/Sid Phillips: [hyperventilating] W-we?
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: That's right, your Sesame Muppets!

[Sesame Muppets get up and surround the terrified Lefou/Sid]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody: From now on, you must take good care of your Sesame Muppets, because if you don't, we'll find out, Lefou!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [while turning head around slowly] We Sesame Muppets can see EVERYTHING!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: [speaking and moving] So play nice!

[Lefou/Sid screams and runs inside]

  • Elmo/Rex: ROAR!
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Hey, how ya doin', Elmo.
    • Elmo/Rex: [stops roaring] Were you scared? Tell me honestly.
    • Cookie Monster/Woody: I was close to being scared that time.
    • Elmo/Rex: I'm going for fearsome here, but I just don't feel it! I'm think I'm just coming off as annoying.
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: [thinks Telly Monster/Buzz has gone crazy] Let's get you out of here Telly...
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Don't you get it?

[points to a doll's hat on his head]

    • Telly Monster/Buzz: You see the hat? I am Mrs. Nesbitt!

[laughs hysterically]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Snap out of it, Telly!

[opens Telly/Buzz's helmet, slaps Telly/Buzz across the face with his detached arm, then closes the helmet]

    • Telly Monster/Buzz: [calmly] I-I-I... you're right. I'm sorry, I am just a little depressed, that's all. I can get through this.

[breaks down again]

    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Oh, I'm a sham!
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: Telly, will you get up here and gimme a hand?

[Telly Monster/Buzz throws his broken-off arm to Cookie Monster/Woody]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Ha-ha, ha-ha. That's real funny. THIS IS SERIOUS!
  • Cookie Monster/Woody: Telly? Telly? You're not worried, are you?
    • Telly Monster/Buzz: Me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Are you?

[camera pans out]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody: Now Telly, what could Linus van Pelt possibly get that is worse than you?
    • Linus van Pelt/Andy: [from downstairs] Oh, oh, what is it? What is it? Wow, a puppy!

[camera zooms back in]

    • Cookie Monster/Woody, Telly Monster/Buzz: Heh, heh!
  • Bert/Lenny the Binoculars: [Bert/Lenny spots Roadrunner/RC Car rocketing toward the open moving van] Hey, look! It's Cookie Monster and Telly Monster, comin' up fast!

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