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Cast

  • Leslie Mostly as Jean Stapleton
  • Baby Bear as Fozzie Bear
  • Telly Monster as Rowlf the Dog
  • Herry Monster as Floyd Pepper
  • Cookie Monster as Animal
  • Hoots the Owl as Zoot
  • Mona Monster as Trumpet Girl
  • Turkey Conductor as Nigel the Conductor
  • Benny Rabbit, Two-Headed Monster, Honkers, The Oinker Sisters, Mr. Between, Kingston Livingston III, Letter B, Wolfgang the Seal, Frazzle, Harry the Hopping Haystack, Roxie Marie, Kermit the Forg, Mumford, Mr. Johnson, Humphrey, Ingrid, Baby Natasha, Chip and Dip, Count von Count, Countess von Backwards, Placido Flamingo, Maurice Monster, Horatio the Elephant, Chickens, Mr. Dragon, Board of Birds, Madame Chairbird, Sheriff Shrimp, Leo Birdelli, Chicago the Lion, Turkey, Betty Lou, Lambs, The Sun, AM Monsters, Duck, Dinger, Penguin, Little Red Riding Hood, Cow, Rodeo Rosie, Professor Hastings, Lefty the Salesman, Sherlock Hemlock, Guy Smiley, Betty Lou, Barkley, Stinky the Stinkweed, Chicago the Lion, Sully, Harvey Kneeslapper, Herbert Birdsfoot, Sonny Friendly, Sam the Robot, Dexter, Twiddlebugs, Aristotle, The Beetles, Bip Bippadotta, Ferlinghetti Donizetti, Farley, Forgetful Jones, Roosevelt Franklin, Smart Tina, Hard Head Henry Harris, Baby Breeze, Suzetta Something, Clementine, Buster the Horse, Fred the Wonder Horse, Little Jerry, Big Jeffy, Chrissy, Rockin' Richard, Little Chrissy and the Alphabeats, The Busby Twins, Granny Fanny Nesselrode, Deena, Pearl, Don Music, Simon Soundman, Dr. Nobel Price, Herbert Birdsfoot, Little Bird, Gladys the Cow and Showered Rosell as The Audience
  • Big Bird as Kermit the Frog
  • Bert as Statler
  • Ernie as Waldorf

Lyrics

Big Bird: And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our special guest star, comedian, actress, singer and vey nice lady, Miss Leslie Mostly.

Leslie Mostly: Uh, gentlemen, lady...

Telly Monster: What?

Herry Monster: What seems to be the problem, Leslie?

Leslie Mostly: Well, uh, that music, it doesn't seem to be the right music. May l see it, please?

Telly Monster: Yeah, well, it seems normal to me.

Herry Monster: Yeah, just your ordinary, vey elaborate pretentious orchestration. What's it called?

Leslie Mostly: Elaborate Pretensions for Orchestras. Uh, couldn't we just do that nice, simple piece?

Herry Monster: Well, how about a nice, simple Latin American riff? (hums the conga)

Hoots the Owl: Arriba!

Herry Monster: No Latin stuff tonight.

Leslie Mostly: No. No, thank you. It's that sweet, simple duet that l rehearsed with Baby Bear. Where is Baby Bear?

Telly Monster: l know how that one goes. It goes like this...

Leslie Mostly: Oh, yes. Thank you. That's it.
(singing) Won't you play a simple melody
Like my mother sang to me
One with good old-fashioned harmony
Play a simple melody
Baby Bear? Baby Bear?


Baby Bear: Here I am, Leslie.

Leslie Mostly: You forgot something.

Baby Bear: Oh, I never forget.

Leslie Mostly: Where's your ukulele?

Baby Bear: Oh, I forgot!

Leslie Mostly: You're a dingbat.

Baby Bear: I was only kidding.
Go!
Musical demon
Set your honey a-dreamin'
Won't you play me some rag
Just change that classical nag
To some sweet beautiful drag


Leslie Mostly: If you will play from a copy
Of a tune that is choppy
You'll get all my applause
And that is simply because
l want to listen to rag


Baby Bear: Musical demon
Set your honey a-dreamin'
Won't you play me some rag
Just change that classical nag
To some sweet beautiful drag
If you will play from a copy
Of a tune that is choppy
You'll get all my applause
And that is simply because
l want to listen to rag


Leslie Mostly: Play a simple melody
Like my mother sang to me
One with good old-fashioned harmony
Play a simple melody


Baby Bear: Come on, everybody!

Leslie Mostly: Musical demon
Set your honey a-dreamin'
Won't you play me some rag
Just change that classical nag
To some sweet beautiful drag
If you will play from a copy
Of a tune that is choppy
You'll get all my applause
And that is simply because
l want to listen to rag


Everyone: Won't you play a simple melody
Like my mother sang to me

Baby Bear: A little loudly now.

Everyone: One with good old-fashioned harmony
Play a simple melody

Baby Bear: Now you!

Leslie Mostly: l want to listen to rag.

Baby Bear: Me! l want to listen to rag! Now eveyone!

Everyone: I wanna listen to rag!

Bert: Boy, that number was something else!

Ernie: You mean it was good?

Bert: No, it was something else.

(both laughing)

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