- Big Bird as Kermit the Frog
- Telly Monster as Rowlf the Dog
- Hoots the Owl as Zoot
- Dexter and Garbo Gorilla as The Mutations
- Barkley as Thog
- Bruno the Trashman as Sweetums
- Masha as Afghan Hound
- Meryl Sheep as Sheep
- Ingrid as Wanda
- Granny Fanny Nesselrode as Attics Drummer
- Zoe as Janice
- Little Bird as The Early Bird
- Granny Bird as Eldery Woman Whatnot
- Prairie Dawn as Camilla the Chicken
- Professor Nucleus Von Fission as Dr. Julius Strangepork
- Cookie Monster as The Swedish Chef
- Oscar the Grouch as Sam the Eagle
- Harvey Kneeslapper as Crazy Harry
- Forgetful Jones as Beauregard
- Harvey Monster as J.G. Frackle
- Little Chrissy as Bobby Benson
- Dr. Nobel Price as Link Hogthrob
- Bert as Beaker
- Simon Soundman as Hobo Joe
- Joey and Davey Monkey as Statler and Waldorf
- Baby Bear as Scooter
- Guy Smiley as Lew Zealand
- Ernie as Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
- Honkers as Penguins
- Humphrey as Wayne
- Willy Muppet as James Bobin Muppet
- Arlene Frantic and Pamela as Snowths
- Fenwick as Mahna Mahna
- Stinky the Stinkweed as Droop
- The Oinker Sisters as Chickens
- Placido Flamingo as Marvin Suggs
- Clementine, Adrienne Bip, Lady Agatha and Juanita as Female Whatnots
- Warren Wolf as The Newsman
- Count von Count as Dr. Teeth
- Rosita as Miss Piggy
- Snuffy as Fozzie Bear
- Bennett Snerf as Beautiful Day Monster
- Grover as Gonzo
Big Bird (spoken): It's the Muppet Telethon with our very special guest, Mr. Jack Black! YAAAAY!
Girls: It's time to play the music,
It's time to light the lights,
It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight!
Boys: It's time to put on makeup,
It's time to dress up right,
It's time to get things started!
Simon Soundman (in a high female voice): Why don't you get things started?
Joey Monkey (spoken): I always dreamed we'd be back here.
Davey Monkey (spoken): Dreams? Those were nightmares!
Big Bird: It's time to get things started
Big Bird and the Muppets: On the most sensational,
This is what we call The Muppet Show!