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Cast

  • Big Bird as Homer Simpson
  • Elmo as Bart Simpson
  • Bert as Lenny Leonard
  • Benny Rabbit as Moe Szyslak
  • Lefty the Salesman as Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
  • Count von Count as Chief Clancy Wiggum
  • Ernie as Carl Carlson
  • Grover as Ned Flanders
  • Sully as Sideshow Mel
  • Harvey Kneeslapper as Krusty the Clown
  • Oscar the Grouch as Mr. Burns
  • Biff as Joe Quimby
  • Guy Smiley as Principal Skinner
  • Simon Soundman as Superintendent Chalmers
  • Cookie Monster as Barney
  • The Smartest Person in the Kingdom as Jasper
  • Professor Hastings as Hans Moleman
  • Harvey Monster as Kearney Zzywicz
  • Clancy as Jimbo Jones
  • Kermit the Forg as Dolph Starbeam
  • Sherlock Hemlock as Reverend Lovejoy
  • Sonny Friendly as Lionel Hutz
  • Papa Bear as Kirk Van Houten
  • Willy Muppet as Grandpa Abe
  • Hoots the Owl as Dr. Julius Hibbert
  • Clementine as Edna Krabappel
  • Murray Monster as The Sea Captain
  • Telly Monster as Comic Book Guy
  • Celeste as Martha Quimby
  • Sherry Netherland as Belle
  • Margaret, Teresa, Astronaut and Telephone Operator as Dancing Girls
  • Roosevelt Franklin as Bumblebee Man
  • Herry Monster as Groundskeeper Willie

Lyrics

Prologue:

Big Bird:
My friends, stop!!


Professor Hastings: (holding a bow with a flaming arrow)
Please hurry.


Big Bird:
Sure, we could tear this house down...


(everyone resumes demolition of the building)

NO!! MY FRIENDS, STOP!!!! Lemme finish. We could tear it down, but we'd be tearing down a part of ourselves.

The Song:

You could close down Benny Rabbit's,
Or the Kwik-E-Mart,
And nobody would care,
But the heart and soul
Of Springfield's in
Our Maison Derriere


(music starts)

Sherry Netherland:
We're the sauce on your steak,
We're the cheese in your cake,
We put the "Spring" in Springfield


Margaret:
We're the lace on the nightgown,


Teresa:
The point after touchdown,


Sherry Netherland,, Margaret, Teresa, Astronaut and Telephone Operator:
Yes, we put the "Spring" in Springfield

Sherry Netherland:
We're that little extra spice
That makes existence extra nice,
A giddy little thrill
At a reasonable price


Sherlock Hemlock:
Our only major quarrel's
With your total lack of morals


Astronaut:
Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad,


Telephone Operator:
They seem to entertain your dad

Sherry Netherland and Margaret, Teresa, Astronaut and Telephone Operator:

The gin in your martini,
The clams on your linguine,
Yes we keep the

(Sherry Netherland flicks Roosevelt Franklin's antenna)
In Springfield

Count von Count, Harvey Kneeslapper, and Guy Smiley:
We remember our first visit,

Biff:
The service was exquisite


Celeste:
(talking) Why Biff, I had no idea!


Biff:
(talking) Come on now, you were working here!


The Smartest Person in the Kingdom and Willy Muppet:
Without it we'd have had no fun
Since March of 1961

Elmo:
To shut it down now would be twisted,


Harvey Monster, Clancy, and Kermit the Forg:
We just heard this place existed

Margaret, Teresa, Astronaut and Telephone Operator:
We're the highlights in your hairdo,

Lefty the Salesman:
The extra arms on Vishnu,


Margaret, Teresa, Astronaut and Telephone Operator:
So don't take the

(Cookie Monster opens a Harvey Kneeslapper-in-the-box)

Mob:
We won't take the

(Sully blows on his slide-whistle)

Everyone:
Yes, let's keep the

(Benny Rabbit crashes two garbage can lids together)

In Springfield

(Harvey Kneeslapper hits his face with a pie, Herry Monster accidentally hits Bert in the head with a sledgehammer, Count von Count and Telly Monster bounce their bellies together, Oscar the Grouch honks the horn on his antique car, Murray Monster reels in with his fishing rod in the fountain, and Cookie Monster burps).

Epilogue:

Grover:
Well, I am convinced. The house stays!


Sherlock Hemlock:
This house is a very, very, very fine house.

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