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A parody of the Robot Chicken episode starring characters from Care Bears

Cast

  • Brave Heart Lion as Alex
  • Loyal Heart Dog as the Count
  • Sadness (from Inside Out) as Blade
  • Grumpy Bear as Cookie Monster
  • Funshine Bear as Big Bird
  • Good Luck Bear as Oscar the Grouch
  • Polite Panda as Ernie
  • Perfect Panda as Bert
  • Bright Heart Raccoon as Grover
  • Tenderheart Bear as Elmo
  • No Heart as Count Chocula

Transcript

[side of a building]

New Guy (Brave Heart Lion): Thanks for throwing me a welcoming party, Loyal Heart! I've never been to a party hosted by a vampire before.

Lumpy: I do it for all the newcomers, Cuddles. After tonight, I guarantee you'll be... one of us. (laugh)

[cut to inside of building, with scenarios of: Sniffles and Handy partying, along with Disco Bear deejaying, Polite Panda and Perfect Panda hugging in content, and Bright Heart Raccoon making out with two generic care bears.]

Brave Heart Lion: I guess when our show's guests include Katy Perry and Ice Tea, it's a slippery slope. (woos in joy) Hey, Bright Heart Raccoon! Hi, Playful Heart Monkey!

[blood drips onto Brave Heart's arm, followed by all the sprinklers leaking blood, zombifying the other care bears]

Brave Heart Lion: Oh, no! Loyal Heart! He turned you all into... to... the undead!

Loyal Heart Dog: If you assumed I was a vampire in every other way but that, man I'd count one. One moron!

[Loyal Heart shoves Brave Heart onto the floor, trying to crawl away from the newly born care bear zombies.]

Brave Heart Lion: Oh, no! (runs into a blue emotion in black with shades, who is Sadness) Oh, nice character intro! How long have you been here watching me urinate myself?!

Loyal Heart Dog: Get him!

[Sadness readies a shotgun, and shoots the Zombie Tree Friend, in order: Bright Heart Raccoon, Grumpy Bear, (punches Tenderheart Bear, strangles Polite Panda and Perfect Panda, followed by bashing their heads together, and then using a sword to cut Funshine Bear's head, but not before him saying:)

Funshine Bear: "S" is for "severed".

[then Sadness decapitates Funshine Bear, and proceeds to attempt to shoot Good Luck Bear, but the metal trash can keeps deflecting the bullets]

Good Luck Bear: Ha! Flawless, built-in defense system! Wait what are you doing?!

[Sadness lifts the lid, and then successfully kills Good Luck Bear, followed by Loyal Heart Dog flinging himself at Sadness, who in turn holds him against a wall]

Loyal Heart Dog: I see one, one dead... Oh my goodness, there's not a speck of blood on you. What, do you keep a pack of Handi-Wipes in that flight jacket?

Sadness: No, just this. [pulls out a grenade]

Loyal Heart Dog: One, two...

Sadness: Stop counting!

Loyal Heart Dog: That was a play-by-play. I just urinated in my own pants.

[Sadness stuffs the grenade in Loyal Heart's mouth and throws him aside before Loyal Heart groans in agony for a few seconds prior to exploding. Sadness then helps Brave Heart Lion to his feet.]

Brave Heart Lion: Wow, so I guess if you've hunted all the way to CB Land, you must have gotten every vampire in the world.

Sadness: Not quite.

[cut to No Heart's castle]

No Heart: Who wants some of my No Heart cereal? Which if looked at from a very specific point of view is a nutritious part of this balanced breakfast!

[Sadness cocks a shotgun]

No Heart: You!

[Sadness blows No Heart's brains out]

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