Oogtar (from Garfield & Friends) as James' Fireman
Warrior (from TUGS) as The Signalman
Billy Twofeathers as Gordon
Mr. Nicholas as Edward (Non-Speaking Role)
Barton Winslow as Henry (Non-Speaking Role)
Ringo Starr: Everyday, JB King came to the station to catch his train.
JB King: Hello.
Ringo Starr: He always said to RS Mr. Conductor.
JB King: Remember, don't be impatient, RS Mr. Condcutor. You can never be as strong and fast as Billy, but you can be a really useful conductor. Don't let the silly robots tease you.
Ringo Starr: There were lots of robots, and RS Mr. Conductor worked very hard pushing and pulling them into place. There was also a small trailer and two strange things Orson called cranes.
Orson: That's the breakdown crane.
Ringo Starr: He told RS Mr. Conductor.
Orson: The cranes are for lifting heavy things like men, wagons and robots.
Ringo Starr: One day, RS Mr. Conductor was in the yard. Suddenly, he heard a man screaming.
Schemer: Help! Help!
Ringo Starr: A man came rushing through, much too fast. The man was Schemer, and he was frightened. His shoes were on fire.
Schemer: They're pushing me, they're pushing me!
Ringo Starr: He painted.
Robots: On, on, on!
Ringo Starr: Still screaming,
Schemer: Help! Help!
Ringo Starr: Poor Schemer disappeared.
RS Mr. Conductor: I'd like to teach those robots a lesson.
Ringo Starr: Said RS Mr. Conductor. Soon came the alarm.
Warrior: Schemer's off the road, the breakdown crane, quickly!
Ringo Starr: RS Mr. Conductor grabbed the crane, and off they went. RS Mr. Conductor worked his hardest.
RS Mr. Conductor: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Ringo Starr: He said. He wasn't pretending to be like Billy; He really meant it.
RS Mr. Conductor: Bother those robots and their tricks. I hope poor Schemer isn't hurt.
Ringo Starr: Roy and Oogtar were feeling all over to see if he was hurt.
Roy & Oogtar: Never mind, Schemer.
Ringo Starr: They said.
Roy & Oogtar: It wasn't your fault. It was those shoes they gave you. We always said they were no good.
Ringo Starr: RS Mr. Conductor pushed the breakdown crane alongside. Then he pulled the unhurt robots out of the way.
Robots: Oh dear, oh dear!
Ringo Starr: They groaned.
RS Mr. Conductor: Serves you right, serves you right!
Ringo Starr: Said RS Mr. Conductor. He was hard at work going backwards and fowards all afternoon.
RS Mr. Conductor: This will teach you a lesson. This will teach you a lesson.
Ringo Starr: He told the robots. And they answered,
Robots: Yes it will, Yes it will.
Ringo Starr: They left the broken robots, then with two cranes, they put Schemer back on the road. He tried to move, but he couldn't, so RS Mr. Conductor helped him back home. JB King was waiting anxiously for them.
JB King: Well RS Mr. Conductor,
Ringo Starr: He said.
JB King: I've heard all about it and I'm very pleased with you. You're a really useful conductor. Schemer shall have some proper shoes and a new clothes, and you shall have a forest all to yourself.
RS Mr. Conductor: Oh, thank you, sir!
Ringo Starr: Said RS Mr. Conductor. Now RS Mr. Conductor is as happy as can be. He has a forest, and two grandaughters called Grandaughters 1 and 2. He works proudly backwards and forwards with them all day. He is never lonely. Mr. Nicholas and Barton stop quite often and tell him the news. Billy is always in a hurry, but never forgets to say,