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Dan as Oliver
RS Mr. Conductor as Thomas
GC Mr. Conductor as Percy
Matt as Duck
Robots (from Sonic The Hedgehog) as Troublesome Trucks
Stewie (from Family Guy) as S.C. Ruffey
Lord Stinker (from TUGS) as Toad
Carl (from The Simpsons) as Douglas
JB King as Sir Topham Hatt
Odie (from Garfield & Friends) as Oliver's Driver (Mentioned)
George Carlin as The Narrator
George Carlin: Dan had been to the hospital to get better. Some robots tricked him, and the kid fell into the turntable well. Now, Dan was as good as new, but he was still worried about robots.
Dan: I'd rather not use them.
George Carlin: He said to himself. But the robots sang songs rude and loud. Stewie, their leader, led the chorus.
Stewie & The Robots: Dan is no use at all, thinks he's very clever, says that he can manage us, that's the best joke ever! When he orders us about, with the greatest folly, we just push him down the well, Pop goes old Danny!
George Carlin: RS Mr. Conductor, Matt and GC Mr. Conductor were shocked.
RS Mr. Conductor, Matt & GC Mr. Conductor: Be quiet!
George Carlin: They ordered. But they couldn't be everywhere, and everywhere they weren't, the robots began again.
Robots: Dan is no use at all, thinks he's very clever, says that he can manage us, that's the best joke ever!
George Carlin: At last, the men gave up.
RS Mr. Conductor, Matt & GC Mr. Conductor: We're sorry, Dan.
George Carlin: They said.
Dan: It's really my fault.
George Carlin: Said Dan sadly.
Dan: I shouldn't have fallen in the turntable well.
George Carlin: Lord Stinker, the barge, felt sorry for Dan too. Next morning, he spoke to Carl.
Lord Stinker: I'm worrid, Mr. Carl. This disrespect for humans, when is it going to end?
Carl: Who knows?
George Carlin: Sighed Carl.
Lord Stinker: I've got a plan, Mr. Carl. May I stay here today and help Mr. Dan? We are both friendly, and must stand together.
Carl: Certainly, Lord Stinker.
George Carlin: Replied Carl, and walked away. Soon, Lord Stinker was explaining his plan.
Matt: Goodness Gracious, Lord Stinker, I don't think you should suggest such a thing to Dan.
George Carlin: But Dan interrupted.
Dan: No Matt, Lord Stinker's right. It's really my fault. I must put this trouble right.
Lord Stinker: I meant no disrespect, you understand.
Dan: Of course not, Lord Stinker. Anyway, Odie says the same, and he's arranged it with the station master.
Matt: Very well, Dan.
George Carlin: Conceited Matt.
Matt: But I must hurry; my passengers will be waiting. Good luck!
Dan: So long!
George Carlin: Smiled Dan bravely, but he felt dreadfully nervous inside. Dan marshalled the worst robots two by two.
Lord Stinker: That's the way, Mr. Dan.
George Carlin: Whispered Lord Stinker.
Lord Stinker: And if you leave that Stewie till' last, then you'll have him behind you, and you can bump him if he starts his nonsense.
Stewie: Hold back, hold back.
George Carlin: Whispered Stewie.
Stewie: And pass the word to the others.
George Carlin: The silly robots giggled. But Dan knew what to do; there was plenty of sand on the ground and his feet gripped splendidly. He gave a great heave.
George Carlin: Groaned Stewie.
Stewie: I don't like this!
Matt: Go on!
George Carlin: Yelled Matt.
Matt: Well done, cousin! Well done!
George Carlin: Wailed Stewie.
Stewie: I'm coming apart!
George Carlin: And he did. Then there was trouble.
JB King: Well Dan, so you don't know your own strength, is that it?
Dan: No, no, sir.
George Carlin: Said Dan, nervously. JB King inspected Stewie.
JB King: As I thought, rotten skin, rusty bones. Maybe if we put your back together, you'll earn yourself a better name.
George Carlin: Nowadays, Dan only takes the robots when the other humans are busy. But they're always quick to warn each other.
Robots: Take care with Mr. Dan, if you play tricks on him, you'll never be the same robot again!
George Carlin: Stewie has learned his lesson, and says nothing at all.