Shining Time Station/Thomas Parody 2: Schemer Learns A Lesson

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  • Schemer as James
  • Mr. Nicholas as Edward
  • RS Mr. Condcutor as Thomas
  • JB King as Sir Topham Hatt
  • Roy (from Garfield & Friends) as James' Driver
  • BJ (from Barney & Friends) as The Conductor
  • Top Hat (from TUGS) as Jeremiah Jobling (the man with the bootlace)
  • Ringo Starr as The Narrator


  • Ringo Starr: Schemer was enjoying his life in Shining Time Station, but he still had a lot to learn.
  • JB King: You’re a special mixed-traffic man.
  • Ringo Starr: Said JB King.
  • JB King: You can pull carts or robots quite easily, but you must learn by your mistakes.
  • Ringo Starr: Schemer knew what JB King meant. He could well remember that dreadful accident on his first day.
  • Mr. Nicholas: Be careful with the carts, Schemer.
  • Ringo Starr: Said kind Mr. Nicholas.
  • Mr. Nicholas: They don’t like being bumped.
  • Ringo Starr: Everyone came to admire Schemer.
  • Schemer: I’m a Really Splendid Man.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought, and suddenly let off. A shower of water fell on JB King’s nice new hat. Just then the bell rang, and Schemer thought they had better go.
  • Schemer: Go on, go on.
  • Ringo Starr: He called to Mr. Nicholas.
  • Mr. Nicholas: Don’t push, don’t push.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Mr. Nicholus. The carts were grumbling too.
  • Carts: Don’t go so fast, don’t go so fast.
  • Ringo Starr: But Schemer wouldn’t listen. When at last they stopped at the next station, two carts were beyond the room. They had to go back to let the supplies off. But no one seemed to know about JB King’s hat, so Schemer felt happier. Presently, they came to a room where RS Mr. Conductor was waiting with his two women.
  • RS Mr. Conductor: Hello, Schemer.
  • Ringo Starr: Said RS Mr. Conductor.
  • RS Mr. Conductor: Feeling better, that’s right. Oh! That’s my bell. I must go. I don’t know what JB King would do without me to work for this railroad.
  • Ringo Starr: And he left importantly. Mr. Nicholas and Schemer went to the field where Schemer had had his accident. The fence was mended and the cows were back again. They ended their journey and rested before setting off for home. Schemer was still wondering what JB King would say about his new hat. Next morning, he spoke severely to Schemer.
  • JB King: If you can’t behave, I shall take away your suit and have you wear a dress.
  • Ringo Starr: Schemer didn’t like that at all. He was very rough with the grumbling carts as he ran into the school.
  • Schemer: Don’t talk! Come on!
  • Ringo Starr: He called to them.
  • Schemer: Billy never has to fetch his own carts…
  • Ringo Starr: He thought to himself.
  • Schemer: And he only wears blue.
  • Ringo Starr: To make Schemer even more cross, this time no one came near him.
  • Schemer: I’ll show them.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Schemer: They think Billy Twofeathers’ the only one who can pull carts. Hurry, hurry, hurry.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Schemer.
  • Carts: You’re going too fast, you’re going too fast.
  • Ringo Starr: Grumbled the carts. Schemer laughed and tried to go faster, but the carts wouldn’t let him.
  • Carts: We’re going to stop.
  • Ringo Starr: They said.
  • Carts: We’re-going-to-stop!
  • Schemer: What’s the matter?
  • Ringo Starr: Schemer asked Roy the Rooster.
  • Roy: You’ve banged two carts enough to make a leak in anything.
  • BJ: How shall we mend it?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked BJ the Dinosaur.
  • Roy: We’ll do it with newspaper and a leather bootlace.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Roy.
  • BJ: Well, where is the bootlace coming from?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked BJ.
  • Roy: Ask the passengers.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Roy.
  • BJ: You have a leather bootlace, there I see, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said BJ to a smartly dressed tug.
  • BJ: Please give it to me.
  • Top Hat: I won’t.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the tug.
  • BJ: Then…
  • Ringo Starr: Said BJ.
  • BJ: I’m afraid that we’ll just stop where we are.
  • Ringo Starr: Everyone said what a bad station it was. Then they told the tug how bad he was instead. Everyone was very cross. At last, he handed his laces over. Roy tied a pad of newspaper tightly around the hole between the two carts, and Schemer was able to pull the carts. But he was a sadder and wiser Schemer, and took care never to bump carts again.

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