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GC Mr. Conductor as Percy
Billy Twofeathers as Gordon
Schemer as James
Roy (from Garfield & Friends) as James' Driver
Oogtar (from Mario) as James' Fireman
Booker (from Garfield & Friends) as Percy's Driver
Hercules (from TUGS) as The Inspector
JB King as Sir Topham Hatt (Non-Speaking Role)
RS Mr. Conductor as Thomas (Non-Speaking Role)
Mr. Nicholas as Edward (Cameo)
Barton Winslow as Henry (Cameo)
George Carlin as The Narrator
George Carlin: GC Mr. Conductor works on the platform at the station. He loves playing jokes, but they could get him into trouble. One morning, he was very cheeky indeed.
GC Mr. Conductor: Hurry up Billy! The trains ready.
George Carlin: Billy thought he was late.
GC Mr. Conductor: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
George Carlin: Laughed GC Mr. Conductor. And showed him some dirty carts. Billy thought how to get back at GC Mr. Conductor for teasing him. Next, it was Schemer's turn.
GC Mr. Conductor: Stay in the arcade today, Schemer. JB King will come and see you.
George Carlin: Thought Schemer.
Schemer: JB King knows I'm a fine man. He wants me to pull a special cart.
George Carlin: Roy and Oogtar could not make him move. The other people grumbled dreadfully. They had to do Schemer's work as well as their own. At last, Hercules arrived.
Hercules: Show a leg, Schemer. You can't stay here all day.
Schemer: JB King told me to stay here. He sent a message this morning.
Hercules: He did not! How could he? He's away for a week.
George Carlin: Said Schemer.
Schemer: Oh! Where's GC Mr. Conductor?
George Carlin: GC Mr. Conductor had wisely disappeared. When JB King came back, he was cross with Schemer and GC Mr. Conductor for causing so much trouble. But the next day, GC Mr. Conductor was still being cheeky.
GC Mr. Conductor: I say you people. I'm to take some carts to RS Mr. Conductor's house. JB King chose me especially. He must know I'm a really useful conductor.
Schemer: More likely he wants you out of the way.
George Carlin: Grunted Schemer.
George Carlin: Billy look across to Schemer. They were going to play a trick on GC Mr. Conductor.
Billy Twofeathers: Schemer and I were just speaking about signals at the junction. We can't be too careful about signals. But then I needn't say that to a really useful conductor like you, GC Mr. Conductor.
George Carlin: GC Mr. Conductor felt flattered.
Schemer: We had spoken of backing signals.
George Carlin: Put in Schemer.
Schemer: They need extra special care, you know. Would you like me to explain?
GC Mr. Conductor: No thank you Schemer.
George Carlin: Said GC Mr. Conductor.
GC Mr. Conductor: I know all about signals.
George Carlin: But GC Mr. Conductor was a little worried.
GC Mr. Conductor: I wonder what backing signals are.
George Carlin: He thought.
GC Mr. Conductor: Never mind. I'll manage.
George Carlin: He was cross with his carts, but then felt better. He came to a signal.
GC Mr. Conductor: Bother! It's a danger.
George Carlin: The signal moved to show road clear. It's arm moved up instead of down. GC Mr. Conductor had never that sort of signal before.
GC Mr. Conductor: Down means go and up means stop, so upper still must mean go back. I know! It's one of those backing signals.
Booker: Come on GC Mr. Conductor.
George Carlin: Said Booker the Chick.
Booker: Off we go. Stop! You're going the wrong way.
GC Mr. Conductor: But it's a backing signal.
George Carlin: GC Mr. Conductor protested and told him about Billy and Schemer. Booker laughed and explained.
GC Mr. Conductor: Oh dear!
George Carlin: Said GC Mr. Conductor.
GC Mr. Conductor: Let's start quickly before they see us.
George Carlin: He was too late. Billy saw everything. That night the big people talked about signals. They thought the subject was funny. GC Mr. Conductor thought they were being very silly.