Shining Time Tri-State Area: Albert Alone is the second episode of the third season of Shining Time Tri-State Area, and the 43rd episode overall. It is a parody of the Shining Time Station episode Schemer Alone.
- Ferb as GC Mr. Conductor
- Linda as Stacy Jones
- Albert as Schemer
- Lawrence as Billy TwoFeathers
- Baljeet as Dan
- Isabella as Becky
- Gretchen as Kara
- Professor Poofenplotz as Midge Smoot
- Grandma Betty Jo as Ginny
- Evander Holyfield as Barton Winslow
- Dr. Diminutive and Dr. Bloodpudding as The Evil Workers
- Jeremy as Tito Swing
- Candace as Didi
- Stacy as Grace
- Xavier as Tex
- Fred as Rex
- Plucky Duck as James
- Hamton J. Pig as Percy
- Perfecto Prep Alumni as Troublesome Trucks
- Buster Bunny as Thomas
- Gracie and Gladys as Annie and Clarabel
- King Acorn (From Sonic the Hedgehog) as Sir Topham Hatt
- Furrball as Duck (Cameo Role)
- Knuckles the Echidna (From Sonic the Hedgehog) as Gordon (Cameo Role)
- Rotor the Walrus (From Sonic the Hedgehog) as Henry (Cameo Role)
- Sonic the Hedgehog (From Sonic the Hedgehog) as Edward (Cameo Role)
Albert: "My Mommy's gone, my Mommy's gone, and I don't even know how to brush my teeth by myself! I mean, look at all, look at this list of stuff she wants me to do, look at this thing; 'take out the trash, make your bed, say please and thank you', I mean what does she think I am, some kind of mature adult?"
Linda: "Lawrence, have you seen Baljeet?"
Lawrence: "Uh, nope, I haven't seen Isabella, either."
Ferb: "Well, I'm here to work. What's our first step?
Lawrence: "Uh, your first step, Ferb, is to watch your step, that shelf isn't..." (Ferb slides down the shelf) "...nailed in."
Linda: "Ferb, are you all right?"
Ferb: "'All right'? I appear for work and fall off a shelf, I've had better jobs, I'll tell you."
Lawrence: "Oh, sorry about that, Ferb. Isabella and I were working on the shelf but we never got around to finishing it."
Ferb: "Now you'll have to finish it without her. She and Baljeet went to Albert's house to do all his chores for him.
Linda: "Albert's house? Well, I suppose it's good that they went to help Albert, but they should have told us where they were going before they left us."
Ferb: "And before they left me rolling down a shelf. Well, shall we get to work?"
Albert: (As Dr. Diminutive is carrying some furniture) "Right this way, right this way, nice and easy, nice and easy. Ease ease ease ease ease, easy!" (Picks up a picture of him as a baby) "Sheesh. This is my Mommy's favorite picture of me." (Looks at the picture) "Cute kid."
Dr. Diminutive: "Here's your bill, Mac."
Albert: "Sure, no problem, my friend, no problem at all. There you are." (Writes and hands Dr. Diminutive an I.O.U.)
Dr. Diminutive: "'I owe you for this bill, Signed, Albert?' Are you kidding me, Mac? We need real money, hard, cold, currency, cash. This is nothing butt a dumb little piece of paper!"
Albert: "Hey, you'll get paid."
Dr. Diminutive: "When?"
Albert: "When you do."
Dr. Diminutive: (Talking to Dr. Bloodpudding) "Instead of paying us, this wise guy here handed me an I.O.U.. So, uh, when do me and my partner here get our money?"
Albert: "Did I mention a tip?" (Hands each of them a nickel) "A nickel apiece. Cold, hard cash, and, uh, about those I.O.U.s, forget about those, there's plenty more where those came from."
Linda: "What in the world? Well, Albert, what is all of this?"
Albert: "Uh, just a few things from home, Ms. Flynn, to give this place the illusion of three dimensions."
Linda: "Oh, Albert, you can't think of living and sleeping in this house, just because your Mother's away."
Lawrence: "One more nail, and this shelf won't be going anywhere."
Linda: "Oh, I can't stand this! Have you seen what's going on out there?"
Lawrence: "Oh, Albert's got everybody working for him, does he?"
Linda: "Yeah, he's even got Betty Jo doing his laundry."
Ferb: "Sounds like a dirty job, and one that can end up badly for everyone. Doesn't it sort of remind you of Plucky and Hamton?"
Lawrence: "I don't follow you on that one, Ferb. I can't see Hamton writing an I.O.U."
Ferb: "No, but he still got himself in an awful mess."
(After the Story)
Lawrence: "Sounds to me that the way Albert's going, he's going to end up in a bigger jam than Hamton."
Grandma Betty Jo: "Hm?"
Albert: "Be a doll and toss it over, will you. (Grandma Betty Jo hands him his blanket) "A man can't take his mid-day nippy-nap without his blankie. Okay, Poof. Go ahead."
Professor Poofenplotz: "Of course, but before I start to read your favorite story from your favorite storybook..."
Albert: (Whimpers) "You're not going to give me a beddy-bye kiss, are you?"
Professor Poofenplotz: "No, Albert. I was only going to say, 'Pay me first, or this story ends before it begins.'"
Albert: "Oh, is that all?"
Professor Poofenplotz: "Mmm-hm."
Albert: "Okay." (Writes and hands Professor Poofenplotz an I.O.U.) "There you are."
Professor Poofenplotz: "Once upon a time, there were three little pigs..."
Albert: "No, no, no, no, no, skip that part about the two dopey pigs and that wolf. Go to page eight, paragraph three."
Professor Poofenplotz: "Paragraph three."
Albert: "Yeah. Page eight."
Professor Poofenplotz: "And so, the first little pig said to the other two, 'You can certainly stay in my house made of brick,'"
Albert: "Heh. I love this part."
Professor Poofenplotz: "'but you'll each have to pay me a nickel to get in, it's called protection money.'"
Albert: "Isn't that beautiful?"
Professor Poofenplotz: "The two other pigs didn't have any nickels, and they said, 'But the Big Bad Wolf will eat us if you don't let us in.' So the first pig said to the other two pigs..."
Albert: "Hey, what do you think, I'm made of money? Let the wolf eat bacon!"
Professor Poofenplotz: "Albert! This is the most awful version of The Three Little Pigs I've ever heard."
Albert: "You mean there's another version?"
Professor Poofenplotz: "I'm not going to read another word."
(Evander Holyfield drives his motorcycle in the station, pulling a cart of food)
Isabella and Baljeet: "It's Evander Holyfield!"
Grandma Betty Jo: "Hey there, Evander!"
Evander Holyfield: Hey, what's the word, Betty Jo? Okay, Albert, I've got that grub you ordered, and it's drool city, you dig?"
Baljeet: "Wow! Crazy Crunchy Crisp Chips!
Isabella: "Mmm. Pistacio Popsicles!"
Evander Holyfield: "And the Piece De Resistance. A Double-Whammy Triple Cheese Cowboy Beef Burger, Swimming in Relish."
Albert: "Wow. I don't think I can eat those. I just had 15 Chilly Willy Bars."
Evander Holyfield: "Now Al Man, let me lay it straight to you. I don't care whether you eat it or not; You got to pay me for it."
Proessor Poofenplotz: "Evander, It's not my place to say, but I have it from a very reliable source, that Albert hasn't paid anyone anything, except in I.O.U.s."
More Coming Soon
- Footage Copyright: Disney Channel, Warner Bros., Sega, Dic Entertainment/Cookie Jar