This is the first of the 'Sir Topham Hatt Monologues', which ran at the end of my 'Troublesome Engines' redubs that you can find on Sodor Island Fansite. In this one the Fat Controller clears up some ugly rumours that have been spreading. My thanks go to the Old Bean, without whom these would not have the fanbase they do today. It's all him, folks. I just give him ideas.